Dear Ah Ma -2016

Dear Ah Ma,

How have you been? I started this letter earlier this year knowing that I've got limited time to write daily. Can only sneak in some time here and there to pen this post down.

I hope you are well with Ah Gong, Da Jiu and my Xiao Bao where ever you all are now.

Its been a fruitful year for us as I've successfully given birth to twin boys in Feb this year. Are you watching us from above? I'm sure you are. For we managed to get through the difficult 15weeks of my pregnancy and the boys are born healthy. I've dreamed about 4th and 6th grand aunt coming to congratulate me on the boys but not you. And I wondered why. Haha.

Looking at the boys, I couldn't help but think how happy you will be having twin great grand sons. You will be like mummy,  going around telling everybody about them right? I do hope you can see how happy mummy is now with them though she is constantly tired out looking after them.

There will soon be your 1st great grandson from the boys. Ah Xiong had just got married and his boy is due in Nov. It is such a shame that you never got to see us getting married, having children for it will be your greatest joy. But I do know you are happy wherever you are.

Time really flies and this is the 15th year you left us. But still whenever there is a happy occasion, I will be reminded of you and imagine how happy you will be in these occasions. I will still missed the dumplings you specially made for us during dumpling festival. Any dumpling that I tried these years cannot hold a match to yours.

Ah ma, I hope that where ever you are now, you will know that how happy mummy is now. May you watch over her to have good health. Please also watch over us and ensure the boys grow up well and healthy.

Hopefully the next letter I hope I can give you the good news of your favourite grandson having his own children. Till then, stay happie and watch over us where ever you are.

Missing you dearly.

Your eldest grand daughter,
Ah Le

Our family photo this year during Mummy's birthday lunch

These days

These days the question I got asked the most is how am I coping with work and the dinos. Nope I still have no answer for you since I'm also dunno how I'm coping.

But the fact that I'm still alive means I'm coping ok I guessed. Just that on some days I looked like a zombie roaming the streets.

Really, even sometimes I'm amazed by myself. Had always been a sleeply head. Can sleep up to 16hours on a non working day just to recharge myself. But ever since the Dinos came along. I haven got a 6hours straight sleep.

Going back to work means that I'm now technically on 24hours shift. Full time day job complete with night time feeding duties. But it does help to have family support.

Mr Love would feed the Dinos if the feeding time is before 11pm and tuck them to bed. And I can sneak a nap in between this time to the mid night bottle at 12 or 1am. Then the 1st bottle at 5 or 6am will also be taken care by me since its near wake up time for us already.

I also can concentrate better at work knowing that both of them are in good hands of their grannies. Though my heart aches to separate them during the day but I guess there must be some trade off. The boys are getting more cooperative travelling in Papa's car.

I also treasured my alone time more. Sometimes choosing to go lunch alone ay the nearby mall to destress and grab some comfort food to feel good. Just yesterday, I even managed to buy the sandals 

I've eyeing for the past half year. Haha.

These days, I don't have much in my mind except to finish my work and go home to my Dinos. I don't have the extra time and energy to mind other people business though I know there are trouble makers around me. My stand is if I don't give them the attention, they will go away somehow. Some people are just too free to make trouble but I always believe Karma is a bitch. It will come back to haunt you one day. So there, be nice.

These days, my greatest joy comes from the Dinos drinking more and more milk. They finally snapped out of the milk strike season and is becoming a milk monster. Haha And also hear their laughter. They had just started to laugh out loud and that to me is the most beautiful sound on Earth.

These are my days. How about yours?

Super cheeky boys

Toys galore

So Tao Bao is my best friend nowadays. I mean it had always been my best friend but I do alot more shopping now that the dinos are here as compared to previously. 

I thank god for my strong command in chinese ( by Singapore standard) haha and that I can shop freely on TB. I know people who struggle to buy cause they cannot read or understand. Who ask you don't take your chinese lessons seriously back in school?

Anyways things in Singapore are ALWAYS overpriced since everything is imported. Plus you add in the overhead costs and profit margin. The prices are at least doubled.

And the magical thing basically everything you are looking for is made in China. Muhaha. That's why I said TB is my best friend. 

So in preparation of Dinos commuting everyday to and fro our house and their granny house, their super kiasu mummy went in search of toys to buy that hopefully can keep them engage for the whole car ride so that papa can drive in peace. 

1st up is this arc thing that has rattles attached to it. It can basically be attached to anywhere. Playpen, pram, car seat etc. And the Dinos loved to "talk"to the rattles when they swings. I've saw small dino communicating with the Lion for a good 10min on the car while it moves from the ride.. Damn win. Haha.

The animals arc

Fishes arc

I also brought this star shape musical toy where it plays a tune when you pull from the bottom. It was once my cousins favourite toy. I used it to make them sleep using similar toy. But had not seen it anywhere in SG now. Maybe I didn't look hard enough. But again I've got not much time to go out.

Then I got a butterfly hanging toy which surprisingly came with a chime inbuilt and when it moves, the chime sound is pretty smoothing. Dinos love it. And oh, the wings have some plastic sew inside and small Dino loves hearing the sound when we crumble the wings haha.

Then I also brought 3 different wall stickers to decorate their play room since the

walls are in shades of pink. I pasted the Cars measuring tape with quite alot of cars(of course) design beside the numbering. 

Then on the other wall, I pasted whole lot of Disney baby characters haha. And on the other wall, vehicles are lined up. But the wall looks half filled. Gonna buy more to fill up so that it look nicer.

And on our bathroom wall, haha is full of fishes. Reckon that it might look more lively to brighten the bathroom. Mr Love commented that our house look like a kindergarden now. But still he does all the pasting with me willing for his sons. Haha

It only gets easier

Been back to work almost 2weeks and ya I've been adapting well with my crazy schedule of work and babies duties.

Some how I feel more energetic nowadays as compared to pre-babies days. Maybe my body knew to how to generate extra energy to keep me going. That being said, I eat lots more too. That's where the energy comes from. Soon fats will follow. Haha.

Everyone favourite question is how am I coping with Dinos now at night. I actually have no answer. I guess it a natural instinct to wake up and feed them ba. Afterall which mum will let her child go hungry?

But truth to be told, I think I'm already accustomed to the waking up part or rather sleeping in short intervals. I usually sleeps at 10pm if possible leaving Mr Love to do the 10-11pm feeding.

Then the next 2 feeds at 2 and 6am will be done by me. Yes, the elder Dino had not master the art of sleeping longer than 4 hours. In fact he woke up at 3hrs plus last night after his 10.20pm feed demanding milk.

Yet he feels sleepy. Trust me, hungry and sleepy is the worst combination for a baby since he would not want you to disturb his sleep BUT at the same time feeling hungry. Aggrr.. Even Mr Love woke up to help me to distract him with his favourite toy till I finished the feed.

Didn't managed to finish the bottle but 3/4 is good enough to let him go back to sleep happily. I then set my alarm at 3.5hrs later hoping to feed him before he turn nasty. Really, you will not want to face a nasty big dino. Not in the middle of the night where he will scream the whole block down.

And this time, he didn't want to drink since he is too sleepy!!! Agggrrr.. So I told him gently and softly that I need to prepare to go work already, he should be a good boy and drink up so that I can catch a nap of another 45min. And that I love him a lot for being mummy's good boy.

He really did start drinking after that and finish the bottle in under 10min. Didn't fuss when I burp and change his diapers and went back to sleep and reply allowed to nap another 45 min before my work alarm goes off.

Really I would like to think that he heard and understand my words and cooperated with me. Haha.

As 1 of my colleague told me the other day. There is no other way to skip night duties. But it does get easier. I seriously hope it is so for my case:)

Happily tired

Its been a week since I returned to work and I kid you not. Its a struggle everyday to balance work and looking after my Dinos.

I still give them night feed since I reckon its pointless to force both to sleep through the night. Actually it is more on the impossible side since there's 2 of them. If I gonna give 1 then both will have night feeds. 

But I try to give the last bottle of the day at 12am and on a good day small Dino can last till 6am. Big Dino can last max 5 hours only.

As we are gonna send them to my mil in house starting from next week, its best to feed at 6am and we will start getting ready to go out. Then hopefully they will be cooperative during the car ride there since they are fed. Papa will be sending 1 alternate twin everyday and I hope he can handle the boys' temper.

Prepared al ot of toys in view of the upcoming arrangement. Meanwhile another twin will stay at home with my mummy. And I will take back the night duties at night. Didn't want to give up caring for them even it is slowly killing me.

Regardless of what others say, I think I have the final say where parenting decisions are concern. These are my kiddos, my life and I'm only answerable to myself.

Ya so, I'm basically rushing to work every morning after feeding them and rushing home after work everyday to spend that 1 hour preparing them for bed and bond with them a bit here and there.

Its tiring. But I'm happily tired.