Hope that you are well

Dear Xiao Bao,

Its been 7 days since we lost you, how are you getting on in your world? Is everything well there? Mummy and daddy miss you alot you know? The heartache didnt ease abit even though it has been a week. Do you know when mummy misses you, I will take out the ultrasound pictures to look at you? I especially love the 11wk pic where you were waving at us while doing the scan, daddy and mummy was so happie bak then..

Though asking ourselves many times, we didnt noe where went wrong that causes us to lose you. Mummy went thru rounds and rounds of self blaming though every 1 had told me that it is not my fault. But as your mummy, as the 1 who is responsible to keep you safe in my womb and bringing you to this world, it cannot be denied tat I failed in my job.

I realli wan you to know that we oredi tried our best in keeping you, decision that we made last wk is not becuz we dun love you but is becuz of our love for you. We wanted the best for you, and the doctor said this is the best for you, we wanted you to have a better life, a better environment, thus this decision. It pains us alot to let you go, but we still did...

Every night before I go to slp, I will tink of you, how happie I was when you were still within me, I would stroke my tummy to cajole you to slp, or how I will tok to you when I was bathing or during toilet breaks at work, tell you to bear with it abit while mummy work..Or how daddy will tok to you everynight or morning and when mummy gets off car to work..

Did you also rememeber all the nutritious food that you ate while inside mummy?Its all prepared with love from daddy or ah ma..Though daddy loves fast food more but he rather stayed at home on weekends preparing  whole day just to cook lunch and dinner for you. If not mummy is expecting, we might not even know how to do marketing, its becuz of you tat mummy n daddy went to market dilligently every wkend hoping to buy fresh food to prepare for you.

Actually mummy also want to thank you for your short presence in me, bringin out the best in us while preparing ourselves for your arrival. I noe you will want mummy and daddy to get on well here and be strong juz like when you were fighting in mummy during the last few days. Mummy is trying her very best but still at times, especially in the middle of night or early in the mornin when I wake up to go toilet, I will be reminded of you. I desperately wanted to know whether you are well in the other world, I desperately wanted to tell you 1 last time that I loved you cuz I didnt had the time to bid you a good farewell back then.

The most precious memories that you left for us will be well-kept, for when daddy & mummy miss you alot, we can have some photos to look at, this is our only way to rememeber you and we are realli thankful for that 5photos. Xiao Bao, please be well at the other world, for the only reason we let you go is want you to be well.

Love,

Daddy & Mummy Lee

Mourning

Its been 5 days since I lost my BB, since like all happens yesterday. I rejected all well-wishes' intentions for a visit. Not that I dun welcome them, juz tat I cannot bear to tok about this episode now without crying. Further more, it adds salt on the wound by repeating myself each time one ask how I lost my BB..

Hubs' family came yesterday, I had a hard time attending to them, need to be strong in front of visitors, putting up a front, tired out by the visit as they stayed for a few hrs, and of cuz repeating the details to my mil on the fateful day, bringing bak the pain that I try so hard to forget.

Many asked me, how am I coping so far, asking me not to dwell on it and dun be too sad..How not to dwell on it when I lost my baby this way, he's part of me for a good 3 and half mths for god's sake. When he left me, I felt like part of me left too, not going to feel complete from now on..

Hubs been beri supportive over this period though he is grieving too..He too, like me lost a child, and tot he nearly lost me when he saw how much I bled. On some nites, we just hug and cry together b4 falling aslp when we think of how we used to tok to our unborn child every night before bedtime.

Everything I do now, reminds me of this little 1 once inside me where both of us was so eager to welcome to this world. I tried to be happie, tried to keep myself busy to take it off my mind. None helps, in the end, I decided to juz grieve as much as I can before bouncing bak, this is my mourning period, our mourning period. No matter how much every 1 tells me that I should stay strong, the least I tink I can do is to mourn for this unborn child, this is the only thing I can do for him, I do not wan to forget him or the pain so fast, I wan to rememeber him, for the joy he brought us over the past 3mths plus...

I miss you BB, hope that you hear mummy's prayers every nite praying tat you are in somewhere safe and in good hands and leading a good life that you should have. Mummy will stay strong, hopefully you will too, juz like the way you did when we were about to lose you. I will always rememeber you, little fighter, thank you for the joy and happiness you brough to us, thank you for being part of me once, I thank god for the short time we had together, for it will be the sweetest memory I ever had when expecting my 1st child...

A day tat I would neber forget

On the morning of D-day I woke up at 4am, praying all the while with hands on my tummy, telling BB to stay with me and hold on..I prayed for the amino water level to come bak and the lack of water during the past few days had not do harm to my BB..There are so many things I prayed that in a blink of eyes, its time to go down for the scan..Mummy had come along to give me support.

I promised her and hubs tat shd the results be negative, I woud heed the gyne's advice and will not harm myself . Words cannot decribe my feelings as I await for the scan, its like waiting for a verdict to be passed.

Things are just not meant to be when the scan shows that water level is still low, gyne needs us to decide on the spot the next course of action, whether to continue waiting (not recommended) or to proceed with an abortion. As I said to her " I will follow your advice to let go", I felt myself letting go of myself.

Though I noe this is the best decision for both BB and me, I cannot help but felt gulity towards giving up BB..As Mount A does not allow abortion when BB is alive, I am sent home by gyne with a medication to help expel the fetus from my body before I am able to come bak to the hospital to clean up.

Gyne is aso unsure of how long the medication will take effect in my body and thus send me home with 3 dosages to spare. Took the 1st dosage at 1pm and the effect kicks in at 3.30pm when I woke up from nap with a beri bad cramp similar to wat I experienced on that fateful sat morning..
I went to toilet immediately to check on my bleeding and found not much but the cramp was getting bad. Then I called my gyne who advises me to go down as there is a distance between my hse and hospital..

Suddenly I can feel blood wanting to flow out,and I rushed to the toilet again..this time more blood flowed out and guess wat,I felt my little bb flowing out of me too,and it's left hanging as there are still vessels attached within me.
But then,hubs was already keeping vigil outside the toilet an rushed in.I didnt noe what to do, with the fetus still hanging there. I started crying on seeing the fetus, its painful enuff to let my BB go even he is still alive, yet he gotta go in this way..I cannot describe the feeling I had, but till today, when I tried to recall, tears would flow out automatically..

Hubs, on the other hand was much more composed, told me to wipe myself clean to break the blood vessel, which I had trouble doing so with my shaking hand, and immediatelt flushed away the fetus..I broke down totally at the sound of flushing..My bb is gone, just like tat..And the we procceed to the hospital for the gyne to clean me up.Luckily we had prepared my bag before hand, and its juz grab and go..

I did not rememebr the details leading up to reaching the hospital, things went by in a daze, all I had in mind are the images of my lost BB being flushed down my house sewage system.Tell me, which mother can withstand this way of losing your still living baby?

When we reached my gyne's clinic, we still had to wait even though I was in serious pain. Guess the gyne tot she can still clear her other patients as the medicine had juz taken effect, wat she didnt noe is in my case, the medication had taken full effect. Many times, we tried telling the nurse that I am in great pain and can feel that my blood are overflowing, yet I am too weak and in pain to walk to the ladies to change my pad or to let the blood flow out..So I sat there bearing both the physical and mental pain.

Hubs and mummy was in no less pain than me, though no suffering the physical pain, they were both tormented by wat I was going thru. Yet, they cannot show me their panic, both tried to remain calm and strong in front of me.. Then suddenly, the I can feel a gush of blood rushing out of my body, overflowing and then next ting I noe, I was over in blood down under, dirtying the place and my dress in the process.

I seriously did not feel much when I saw these, maybe I was still in grieve and cannot react. But hubs and mummy nearly broke down the gyne's door, demanding her immediate attention for me, onli then I was being rushed into her consultation room. Mummy and hubs would later admit, they tot they are losing me aso, for I had no expression on my face even though I was covered in blood.

Gyne did a quick check and clean up for me, pulling out my placenta to make me feel better down under, surprisingly, the pain ease abit when the placenta was removed. I told her I wan a day surgey, preferring to go home after the procedure and she promise to try to arrange for that. With this, I was scheduled for the procedure at 5pm, with half an hr more to go, I was wheeled up to the surgey room..

I was weak by then with the loss of baby and so much blood, but I know I need to assure both hubs and mummy tat I will pull thru this so that they would not be worrying so much outside the surgey room.I made hubs promise that he will go dinner with mummy while I am undergoing the procedure.

As I was wheeled into the theater, I was oredi weak from the pains, nurses were caring enuff to pull another thick blanket to keep me warm while doing the last min checks of my information, the doctor who is adminstrating anesthetic for me, tried to cheer and encourage me. Within seconds I was given the drug, I knocked out.

When I came over later, the whole procedure was done, and I was not able to keep myself awake. Physically I felt like I was being drained out of every single ounce of energy I had, mentally, I was mourning the loss of my BB as I noe he had totally been taken out of my body after 3 1/2 mth stay inside me.

After getting clearance from the nurses, I was discharged to go home to rest..

Its a waiting game

As mine was an emergency case, I was given priority when I reached her clinic, upon an ultrasound and checking of my down under, she confirmed that I was leaking water and the amino water level for my bb is dangerously low.. She did not understand how come KKH did not tell me these when they 1st saw me, and instead allow me to go home.

She suggested immediate admission to the hospital where she would observe my amino water level. By the time hubs parked his car and came up to the clinic, I was crying hard oredi, low animo water, how would my baby survive in me? Gyne told us there is nothing we can do but to wait and see whether the amino water level rises back, else we had to let the baby go. How am I going to accept that I would lose this baby at 3months pregnant?

We asked gyne wat are the chances of being able to keep this baby but she cannot provide us with an ans. With this, I was admitted and send to the ward within 15min with strict orders from the gyne that I should not sit up or get down the bed unless during meals (for sitting) or going for big business ( for getting off the bed).

Urinating will have to be done on the bed with a bedpan. This is how bad my condition is. I was crying all the way to the ward with hubs tearing beside me. As much as I cannot accept this sudden bad news, he is not taking it well either, but I noe he is trying to be calm for the sake of me as I get into panic mode easily.

I called mummy to inform her bout my condition after I was settle into the ward and for the next 3 days, lay on the bed all the while praying for the water level to rise bak. As it was a sat when I was admitted, gyne suggested a scan on monday to assess my situation before we need to make any decision.

I took the gyne's advice seriously and didnt even sit up long for meals. Part of the reason is I am not in the mood to eat, partly is I ate with a faster speed than my usual dilly dally pace..Hubs keep vigil besides me for as long as he could, going home onli after visiting hrs and arriving as early as he could after running errands like picking up mummy or going to his mum's hse to pick up food she prepared for me..

As I lay on bed during times I am alone, I prayed, pray for the safety of my bb, prayed for the water level to come back, prayed that both mother and child can get thru this and come out well...At nights, I cannot fall aslp, not sure whether its due to many naps I took during day times or I am juz anxious about the results..Many times, I fell aslp while praying onli to wake up again after an hr or so and then the whole process repeats itself. Luckily, every bed was equipped with a TV so when I realli cannot slp, I would just watched the Olympics games..

I did not dare to tell hubs or mummy my slpless nights for fear that they worried even more, I didnt even dare to cry in front of them..At nights, I would tear sliently in my bed, worrying for my bb, while on the other hand forcing myself to be positive that BB will pull thru...

Monday morning came, and I got up early to get ready to be pushed down for my scan.The reuslts were still negative although my brave bb is still fighting for his life as his heart is still beating steadily..I broke down, not able to take in this news, we are realli facing the option of letting BB go this time..I begged the gyne to let me consider awhile more, for I cannot bring myself to make this decision while BB is still alive and kicking within me..

Hubs asked gyne wat are the chances of water coming back, she said is rare...However, visually, she tot my level had gone up a little though not eufff..I tot , there might just be a chance, a little chance that the amino water will rises by tomorrow since theres a little increase already..However, we were told, shd by tomorrow, the level had not reached the optimal level, I would need to let BB go as it is harmful to both BB and my body. Again, I was sent back to ward, crying. Tis time, more badly then previously..

Mummy and dad reached shortly, and kept telling me to be strong and listen to gyne's advice to let go of BB. How to? How am I goin to make this decision where I will be killing my little precious 1 though he is alive? How am I going to live with this guilt?

A beri sweet sister (head nurse) came and helped to say some prayers for BB & me, hoping that a miracle will happen when I go in for my final scan tomorrow..I prayed the whole day and during meal times, ate more than usual, deep down I knew the chances are not high and I want to try to let my BB  njoy as much food as he can while he is still within me..Hubs even went out to buy stuff that I craved.

Truth to be told, I know the chances are slim, the few days tat I was under strict bed rest, I was bleeding still, though not as heavy as the 1st day, but the bleeding neber stop.But how can I give up when my Bb has not given up his life?

Events leading up to my hospitalization...

I lost my baby at 14wks 2days on Tuesday.. Events leading up to the lost, went past with a blur. It all started with the cramp on early sat morning at 6am, followed by the burst of my water bag (which I dun even noe) and heavy bleeding.. Immediately we rushed to KKH A&E as my private gyne opens at 9am..

At KKH, I was attended by a medical officer meaning to say junior doctor who dun even noe how to handle me..She looked at me blankly for 5s and proceeds to ask questions with long pauses in between as if she dunno or is thinking hard on wat to ask me.. And she keep flipping to the previous records to "copy" the answers to all the fields of the required report they had to fill in while diagnosing patients.

Later she used a microphone like equipment to try to listen to my bb's heartbeat, and had a hard time locating it. It was after much trying den she admitted tat at 13wks, its not realli possible to listen to the heart beat using that useless equipment. I was beri angry, I mean if u noe its pointless, why waste time to do this stupid listening while u can immediately get me to do an ultrasound??

Then she called her senior had asked her wat to do with me, I nearly fainted on the spot having met this noob. Her senior then advised her to ask me to wait for her return where I will be given an ultrasound scan. So I waited for nearly half an hr though they said 15min. All this while, when lying on the bed, hundreds of tots raced thru my mind. Will my bb be ok? Is there still heartbeat? Why did I bled so much suddenly? Is the cramp this morning a sign of miscarriage?

The senior doctor finally came bak to perfrom the scan on me, assuring me that bb's still alive and proceed to send me home with some hormone mediations and a jab. I asked her on whether why I am still facing this problem in my 2nd trimester and is there any thing I can do to prevent it, she juz told me no, and advise me to rest, not to carry heavy things. She did not even provide an mc for the next work wk.

We then went for breakie and after tat wanted to go hm and rest as per doc's instruction. But as I was walking to the carpark, I can feel a gush of blood flowing out, alarmed, I decided to go to the ladies to check..I nearly fainted inside, when I tried to urinate. Blood was flowing out freely and a BIG chunk of blood vessel came falling out. Imagine my shock when I see these. Here I am 3mths pregnant, with such heavy bleeding, yet the docs released me to go home and ask me to follow up with my gyne.

I called my gyne immediately and she told me to go to her clinic so that she can see my current situation.

Back to work

After 2 wks of  bed rest, I finally went bak to work this wk. It was a hectic wk as its near month end and at the same time, quarterly closing..

But thanks to my senior who helped to clear bulk of my work the past 2 wks, the pile of work I faced when I returned to office wasnt as tall as I tot..Though there are still things waiting for me to clear, I knew he had tried his best to clear the more urgent ones..Realli appreciate his kind gestures, this is wat u called team work where I will not find in my previous company.Had I still been with my old company, I think I will take another 2 wks of bed rest leave when I go bak and see the amount of work awaiting me..

As mentioned, it had been a hectic work, work is stress with payday coming up and I am in charge of the various vessel's payroll..FC had passed some of the quarterly closing reports for me to investigate and close, and I took over more tasks as previously agreed so that she can have a back up shd the person suddenly decides to leave our company.

Its tough, but I managed to get thru the wk..Keep telling myself to relax abit as I do not want to stress out BB..Did see spotting on the 2nd day I went bak, but its a bit onli, not so much to trigger the panic button. I tried not to work ard so much and my nice colleagues will collect my print outs for me whenever they can...Realli blessed to be working along with them and having their understanding on my current situation..

Also, I get tired out very easily after work, nodding off at 9pm some nights..Gyne had aso advised me to go easy and try to have as much rest as possible. I am trying my best to maintain my well being for the sake of BB..

As I progressed towards 2nd trimester, I do hope everything will gets better as wat fwens ard me are telling me as they term this as "Honeymoon" trimester..But I still get the nausea feeling every now and then, especially when certain smell which is not to BB's liking..

Will be going for a detail scan on monday followed by a blood test. Hopefully, all turns out fine and all will be well from now on as we eagerly await the arrival of our bundle of love...At this point now, I cannot help but wonder whether BB is gonna be a prince or princess. Regardless of the gender, as long as BB is healthy, I will be most grateful to god.

13 yrs on...

Dear Ah Ma,

In a blink of eyes, this is the 13th year tat you left us. It seems like you neber realli left us..

This year, we have a lot of good news, how great it will be if you are still here with us..

Early this year, mummy, piggy bro, Jie & I made a trip to Macau & Hong Kong. Liang Liang was unable to join us due to work commitments, and thus we went on our own. I still remembered that our 1st Bossini's t-shirts were brought by you years back when you visited HK while I was in Primary 2. You have brought 3 identical t-shirts but in different colours for us.

It was our favourite outfit back then and mummy will let us wear it while on outings so as to look nice in photos.It was the fondest memory we have about Hong Kong at tat time..Going there this time with family, reminded us of you..

Remember years back, you keep encouraging the younger aunties and uncles to try for a dragon baby? Fast forward to 12 yrs later as we entered the dragon yr, it's my turn to get encouraged to for a dragon baby in memory of you as we know how much you will like to haf a dragon great-grand child. But you know Ah Ma, its stressful to be a dragon BB in Spore as there will be a baby boom and the rush for queues for sch will be madness, thus, I always gave up the idea of having a dragon BB much to the dismay of many.

But dunno whether it is you who is watching all these and decide that I should be blessed with a dragon BB that I got pregnant during May and BB will be born in early 2013 b4 CNY. Technically, it makes the BB a dragon BB still as it is still not CNY yet.

Mummy was overjoyed when she hear the news, I guess she finally got her wish to be promoted to granny and to make things sweeter, its a dragon BB as per your wishes...Mummy believes that somewhere, you are watching over me and made these possible :)

Recently, I am facing a few health problems with this pregnancy and had been put on 2wks MC. If you are watching over me now somewhere, please bless me with a healthy BB and have a smooth delivery. I know you will cuz this will be your great-grandchild.

Liang Liang is also moving to another phase of his life, having started work last Oct as trainee engineer, he is currently waiting to finish his last yr of degree studies...Also, he had got a new gf and is now planning to settle down by next yr. I can imagine ur pride if you are still ard as he is your favourite grandson.

He had grown up quite alot, proved to be helpful ard the hse, at least I can finally stop worrying about him as he prepares to settle down, the worrying part will be passed to his future spouse :)

Piggy bro is also doing well in his career, having get posted to Macau on & off for stints, he is njoying the flying ard part. The only thing is, mummy worry about him being alone there, but as he goes on the next trip in Aug, I guess mummy will be too busy worrying about me then to concentrate on him. Ah Ma, please look after him there if you are watching over us..

Mummy is the most busy among all, this yr, as she prepares for grandmotherhood, she shelf all travelling plans, I think the nearest 1 she have is next Sept where she & piggy bro is planning to go to US..US, Ah ma, did you rememeber that you brought my 1st pair of Nike from there when you went there in 1995?  I still have the Minnie Mouse purse you brought frm Disney land for me:)

As the year moves on, and every 1 gets busy with their life, I know we will miss you more during July as your death anniversary gets nearer. Do take care of yourself Ah ma, with da jiu and Ah gong there, and when I next pen this entry next yr this time, your dragon great-grandchild will be seating beside me playing away. I miss you alot Ah Ma, how I wish you were here to witness this great milestone of my life, but I noe you had neber left us. I noe you are watching over us somewhere up there...

With lots of Love,

Your eldest grand-daughter, Ah Le...

Early morning happiness..

Woke up this morning to Didi's msg informing me of his new job and chatted abit on his soon to be born son..So happie for him, as I knew they both were hoping for a child the last time I chatted with his wife..

Turns out, his child will get a cousin soon aso, hehe and together, we announced the great news to our grp of kakis..

Every 1 was excited, with 2 new members joining us soon..We decided to have a gathering b4 Aud's delivery to celebrate the great news and of cuz in the coming mths, didi and his wife is gonna be so busy with their junior..

Now now, I onli need to get well enuff to host the gathering, which I am confident of doing so :)

Bad scare 2...

Went back to work on mon, everything seems fine on that day, appetite is aso good. I tot things will be good from now..

But boy, how wrong I was, woke up on tue 5am to bad scare no. 2..Same condition as 1st time..But with 1st time experience, I knew better not to panic and try to calm myself down.

Didnt want to wake hubs up as there is nothing we can do at 5am, thus I went bak to bed, trying to slp to no avail. Instead, I concentrate on my breathing and try to stay calm. It did work, but still I didnt manage to fall aslp.

I waited till 7.10am which is hubs' waking up time before telling him the condition, both of us took UL immediately to make a trip down to doc, hopin to confirm all is fine..

All is fine it seems and we even got a sweet surprise which makes our day though doc still didnt manage to pin point wat is wrong with me tat the condition keep coming bak...

Instead, she send me home with 4 days of MC and told me rest is all I need at this stage, hoping to stablise the current situation..

I am abit worried as 2mths into my new job, I took 2wks of consecutive MC..Luckily, they were understanding towards my condition...I pray tat, after all these resting all will be well from now on as I prepare to enter another stage...

Bad scare...

Had a beri bad scare on tuesday nite which send me into Panic mode..As Mr Love is still doing OT, I decided to call mummy. She too, was badly scared by my sobbing voice over the phone, after all, I dropped crying ever since secondary sch days, maybe except when I am beri scared...

She immediately calmed me down and offered to come to my hse and bring me to the doc...While waiting for her, I was comtemplating whether to call Mr Love at work. I would nt want to scare him but he deserves to noe the situation..In the end, I still called him, nt after calming myself down in order nt to scare him too much..

I guess he can feel the shiver in my voice and thus dropped every thing and came hm to acc me to the doc..After check up, doc assured me that everything looks fine, though I would need to monitor my condition and report bak to the hospital shd the condition arises again..

One cannot imagine my relieve when it is told to me that every thing seems normal.I started crying again but managed to stop soon..Was given few days of rest in hope that my condition will improve.

I did not dare to move about for the past few days and were confined to my bed or sofa...Luckily mummy need not need to work for the few days and she came by to check on me and prepared home cooked food for me..I try to rest as much as possible, to the extend of sleepin up to 16hrs a day..

Hopefully all is fine now when I returned to work on mon and from now on, everything will be smooth.. I am reminded by this incident not to take things for granted and shall keep myself in check every now and then..

Raging hormones..

Not sure whether my hormones are acting up or I am just plain whiny..Recently, a little is all it takes to make my tears flowing..

For instance, watched a documentary on children who requires reconstruction surgery during lunch and for no reasons, I started to tear, I had previously watched this show b4, though touched, but I did not tear at tat time...

Another instance is recently while toking to Mr Love, I felt beri sensitive in our conversations and sometimes when I will suddenly feel beri angry towards him and then beri upset and will start crying again..Its not those beri howling, juz sobbing as though as I am beri wronged..hehhe..

Dun ask me why I behave this way, I am aso not sure. Even Mr Love is trying to cope with my sudden change, for I am not an unreasonable woman by nature and beri seldom, I shed tears becuz of small issue...

I blame all these on my raging hormones, heheh and hopefully things will get better as we advance thru the stages..

Toy story

I actually have this dream of displaying my toy collections when I have my own house..As we onli haf a room to ourselves previously, I didnt have a chance to do so..

Now that we have back our study room after the reno, I took the chance to find 1 corner to display them all out..Hehe..It took me quite a while to figure out how to display them all as there are quite a lot, hubs nearly faint when he saw the amount of toys I bring bak from mummy's hse..

He was still commenting on wanna see how I am going to clean them when they collect dust..Muhahah little did he know, I have the best solution worked out as I aso dun wanna clean them once a mth.. I decided to wrap the shelf with a layer of clear plastic, you noe those kind u use to wrap textbooks when we were in sch?

In this way,I onli need to clean the surface and not every single toy on the shelves..whahah clever rite?

Presenting my toy shelves which is just half done :)

Shelf 1

Shelf 2

Shelf 3

On the way

Its a happie day

Got great news today, 1 step forward and is progressing well..It calls for a celebration and celebration is wat we have..heheh

Mr Love & I are both on leave today, giving us a chance to go dating after this imornin's appt..took the chance to go eat the Red Star Dim Sum tat I have been cravin for weeks...*blurps...*

Now, while I am resting on our new sofa, Mr Love is busy cleaning up the hse, trying in vain to unpack all the things..whahha those that are mine, I told him to juz dump under my table in the studee room, wait for my mood to come and I will unpack, onli uncertainity is, I dunno when den will have the mood to unpack..whahhaa

Am beri full now from brunch and is comtemplating when to take something, cuz I dun wan the hungry pangs to come b4 I start thinkin of wat to eat..Then again, I dunno wat I wan eat now..

Been like these for the past few wks, getting more indecisive..whahah Wat has become of me???

Touched..

Hubs' company organized a trip to France for soccer tournament.. Fully sponsored..Made me drools when I heard about it..

Had initially wanted to buy air tix to fly there with hubs if he gets selected to go but decided otherwise as I'm afraid tat I might not pass thru the customs given my condition then..

So,I told hubs to go ahead n sign up n made him promise to help me buy Miu Miu bag hehe..the air tix monies can easily buy me 1 bag..

After a while, he told me tat he decided to forgo the chance to go i.e didn't sign up as he is worried that I might. E alone in SG..this is the 2nd trip tat he gave up..1st 1 being the year end company trip..

No matter how I assured him tat my mummy will come and take care of me
in his absence, he juz cannot stop worrying as he mentioned, there will be no 1 to ferry me to n fro work and he did not wan me to take the sardines packed train to work in my condition..

Felt beri touched when I heard that..so much so tat I nearly teared..muz be hormones acting up haha..

Anyways, there goes my Miu Miu bag but I've learnt that thought he dun realli say, it's thru his actions tat shows that he concerned about us..this is enuff to convince me to go thru this cycle for him:)

Straight out from the movies

I always tot such situations will onli happen in movies and they had over done the plots..

As I experienced it myself for the past 2 wks, I realized it is all true to the fact..No matter how hard I try to control, I did not succeed in stopping the conditions from happening..

The onli comfort I have is all these are worth the cause and torture I went thru as I wait patiently for the end result..

Now that things start easing up, I'm starting to enjoy the whole process:)

Back home...

Finally shift bak to my hse after nearly 2 mths away..it has been a long wait as we did not want to rush our contractor in fear of sloppy work..

Cleaning was spread over 2 wkends.. Thank god for my 2 brothers who helped out on the 1st sat to shift the boxes to study room to prepare the 2 rooms for painting and do some simple cleaning in the hse..as it is inconvenient for me to be involve in this stage,I get to slp at my mum's hse and bark orders to the 3 guys..ahhh wat a good life I led..hehe

Realli need to thank my 2 bros well as they put in a lot of effort this time round in times of need..the elder 1 who doesn't even lift a finger at home offer his help when he heard we are short handed.Sure Mr Love will be able to handle the chores alone but it will take a much longer time and my bros noe how badly I wanted to go hm..hehe

The younger 1 sacrifice his 2 wkends dating and came over to help..he proved to be a great help tat even my in laws were impressed with him.. From cleaning, to assembly of furnitures to defect checkin and even minor repairing, he took care of them all..

We were still worried that his gf will not be too pleased but guess my bro is excited over the news to care..whaha

Finally, we shifted our things bak on sun..though the hse still look like a war zone with half unpacking not done, but at least the master bedroom is ready for use..we shall do abit of unpacking and cleaning everyday after work to clear the things and hopefully it can be done after next wkend..else, we have all the time in the world to slowly unpack..hahah juz that cannot invite plp over for the time being..

At least, I'm getting sufficient rest these 2 days with super good nite's slp which is essential for my condition now..all the hassles are worth it as has we not moved bak, we will onli be able to unpack during wkends onli which will slow the process even further..

Cheers to my new renovated hse and of cuz the surprise that came with it.. Looking forward to a brand new start
:)

Not as bad as I thought

I've been warned by many about her temper and when FC asked me to approach her to learn NZ GST/Petty Cash/Office accounts, I got a bit nervous..I do not noe how she will treat me, having heard the horror stories on how she treat the previous gal..

But thank god, she is consider okie during teaching albeit more lor soh, but then still tolerable.. She is also pretty polite towards me and I hope things stayed this way..

Not that I doubt wat other are telling me, but I am taking things easy at this point, not wanting to worry too much at this time too.

Now that I've learnt NZ GST, I will need to approach her next wk after closing to pick up the ropes on petty cash...wish me luck, hopefully she stay nice to me....

Best solution

I am feeling beri blessed now...Veri veri blessed..Happie that the way things are happening rite now, though there is still something naggin at the back of my head..

From my experience, I noe that no amount of planning can make things worked, thus I try to tell myself to relax and let things work ard themselves, wat will come will come eventually. Wats mine will eventually be mine..

Though anxious, I cannot anticipate the outcome, thus waiting patiently for the outcome will be my best bet now...Cannot afford to worry too much at this stage too..

Well, I will take every thing tat comes in my stride, this will be the best solution at this moment...

Curry Chickie noodles..

My hubs is a big fan of curry noodles, complete with chickie, it would be the best combination for him..

Was watching 面对面 1 fine day and caught the episode on curry noodles and saw this particular stall at Beach Rd Market. Dunnoe whether I got the name correct or not but this is the market where Mr Love use to go during his army days to get the armies stuff..

The stall is located on the 1st floor, which seems like a basement to me, at the corner, facing the main road..This stall is actually a chickie rice stall and the chickie they put inside the noodles are the hainanese white chickie..

We ordered the bigger portion, 4bucks as we are hafing brunch..The special thing bout this curry noodles is they haf placed a slice of pig skin in..Its not easy to find pig skin in singapore and especially not foul smelling one..

Theirs are fresh and springy, which did not have thosse foul pig smell that will puts me off...Also, the curry noddles are curry noddles, not laksa...It meant a difference de, here in SG, many will mix up curry noodles & laksa..

The extra chilli they give is spicy but those who cannot take spicy stuff can choose not to add in the chilli..Personally, I dun like white chickie, but with it thrown into the curry noodles, its actually not bad...Better than those who throw in the chickie and cook along with the curry gravy..

Hubs queuin up to buy..

My yummy curry noodles

Will definitely go bak again when craving of curry noodles kicks in..heheh

Good things come in pairs

Got a pleasant surprise over the wkend, a happie 1 though...And today, received a more pleasant 1...

Wooss...Good things come in pairs...I AM OVER THE MOON....