Everyone wants a piece of me nowadays. The boys need their mummmy, my boss needs her worker, my parents need their daughter and my hubby needs his wife. I haven even start on the topic my friends need their friend. But that is not a priority.
I saw on an article that describe a working mum situation. You are expected to work like you have no children in office and expected to care for your children as though as you are not working. How true.
While I was pregnant with the boys, I questioned myself many times whether I'm up to it for motherhood. Am I really gonna make it for a 1st time mum to not one but two babies at the same time? The learning curve would be steep. But I did convinced myself that if god thinks I'm up to it (by blessing me twinnies) I shall accept this challenge and push on. After all how many women conceived twinnies naturally?
Not someone who adapts well to uncertainty( accts personnel trait), not exactly the most virtue woman I know (in fact far from it) and not exactly the most hardworking woman of all (my mum calls me lazy). All I had is the drive to start a family and my love for kids.
I reckon that if we fought so hard to keep the boys safe during pregnancy amidst all the scares and complications, the least I could do is to give them the proper care since I'm the one who decided to bring them to this world.
The initial part was hard. Trying to care for 2 tiny babies when Mr Love and I know next to nothing about caring for babies. I might have experience in playing with babies but not caring for them.
Totally different thing.
Sometimes, when I looked back now, I really wonder how we got through the initial months. We were stubborn. Refusing to engage a helper. Cost is one factor, the other major factor is we do not like having a stranger in our house around our tiny kiddos. And also we do not want the easy way out of parenthood.
Our mums helped to care for the boys during day time and the responsibility is passed back to us after working hours and weekend. I do not like to make them worked "overtime". This is because they had paid their dues when they had us. Caring for their children 24/7 back when we were young. The least I can do for them is to let them have some breathing space or resting during their old age. By throwing our kids to them 24/7 is not to let them enjoy the bonding with their grand children but in fact taxing on them since caring for young children is not easy for a 60yr old whose energy is depleting.
Some people wouldn't understand my point of view. Its like they think our mums are obliged to care for the kiddos if we have plans be it dinner dates or overtime. By hey, these are my kids! The responsibility is on me not my mothers.
So here's why I cannot stay back to try finish up the work which can be done by the next day. Or try to meet the ridiculous dateline. I do however give my 100% during work so that I try clear as much as possible. But a mum is a mum. We've got our babies to go home to. And no, I dun have the spare capacity to work from home since I need give the twinnies full attention.
Here's also why I couldn't attend the dinner or weekend meetups or event. Mr Love is not able to handle the Dinos alone yet( same for me) and I again do not want the grannies to work overtime for my leisure.
That being said, I'll try give Mr Love some attention when I can. He was afterall used to getting my full attention for the past 8yrs of marriage and suddenly it got divided into 3 or less. There's no more weekly movie dates or impromptu craving satisfying trip at random hawker ( Changi Village) or chill out session on our sofa or overnight queuing for iPhone. I know he had trouble to adjsut to parenthood as compared to me.
So we will arrange for a half or full day leave once a month depending of the activities planned.
Might run a little late if its a half day activity but our mums are still ok with it. So Mr Love only gets my full attention on these dates. But I did not dare tell him that I'm thinking about our Dinos at the back of my mind. Hehe.
My parents are also pretty dependent on me. Be it administrative stuff or medical appointments or just chit chatting. I'm usually the one they approach since the brothers are in their own world. But ever since Dinos arrived, I'm not able to give them as much attention as before.
I still try my best though, bringing dad for his medical check up, helping mummy with the admin stuff or chit chatting with her whenever time allows. But there's no more monthly food treats since its kinda impossible to bring the boys along and enjoy our food at the same time. Well, mummy had it good for the last 8yrs too so not too bad la.
Truth is, I'm sometimes quite overwhelmed by all the stuff and yearn for me time too. Even when I took leave wanting to sleep at home, it's kinda impossible. Mummy will be half expecting me to lend a hand if im at home and I cannot be just sleeping when she cares for the dino. Couldn't bring myself to do it also. So I'm still trying to figure out how to get some alone time and rest quietly. Maybe I should try going to the library.
I like to think I'm holding up quite well in my current situation and try to maintain upbeat. For things will not get easier for a twins mum but I'll get better at handling it.
