Facial woes

The other night, I was telling Mr Love that I gonna take an early shower and cause I wanna “做脸” aka facial.

So the ever smart alec hubby told me to go lie on the bed when I want to start the process.

Reason being? He say he wanna help me i.e to 坐脸 (sit on my face). Its a play around of Chinese words with the same pronunciation.

Very nice, I think my face will be crushed by him.

Auspicious Time

Had to urge to bake recently albeit I play cheat and brought ready made mixture from Betty Crocker but hey it's a start isn't it? Ok, I digress.

So yesterday I woke up feeling excited to start baking. We went for breakfast 1st and when we reached him, Mr Love suddenly announced that he wants to clean the hamster's cage effectively cutting of the usage of our sink. Not that I want to be near it with food preparation.

I tried to sweet talk him into letting me use the kitchen first and he can clean the cage after I am done.

His reply is " Cannot, I got timing 1. If I dun clean now, later I will have no urge to clean le."

Me: "So you mean you have an auspicious time to clean your hamster's cage?"

Mr Love: "Ya!" I got consult 通书 just now, now is a good time.

So I gave in, since I gotta nag like 100times before he  start cleaning the cages.

In the end, it took him 15min to get up from the seat and start moving.

It's nearly 30min later then I got the kitchen back.


Mr Love: 1, Mrs Lee: 0

Iron man vs superheros

Was discussing various superheros last night with Mr Love and suddenly an idea came up.

Me: " 老公,why not you be Iron man? "

He ponders for a moment and replied " Don't want, later I must iron the clothes of all superheros."

Haha. Turns out my idea back fired since he confessed in seeing a similar joke on FB.

I had not, but I was thinking to trick him into being the iron man who will do the weekly ironing and thus relieve me of the duties.

Guess I am struck in the iron lady position for the time being till I think of a better way to trick him.

李式笑话- From Kittens to Lions

Was listening to Kiss 92 last night where they were playing Atomic Kitten's "The tide is High".

Then I was telling Mr Love that this pop girl group was formed pretty long ago, like I was in Secondary school? Then I mumbled that they shouldn't be called Kittens now since it's been more than a decade since their debut.

The very smart ass hubby answered: " Now, they are called Atomic Lions" Since they had all aged and grown up.

"_"

James Bond or Bong?

Hubs came out of shower 1 day and decided that he is James Bond.

The exact words of our conversation are as follow:

Hubs : " Hello, 老婆， 我是 Bond." All the while, he was posing with his fingers shaped like a gun.

I was watching running man on the bed and was not paying attention to him.

He got agitated and repeat a bit louder this time.

Its my turn to be agitated this time and I answered:

"Ya, you are Bong not Bond" (Bong is a word in hokkien that my mum always use which means punched)

" Your full name is Kiam Bong (Kiam in hokkien means owed but in this case is asking for so the 2 words add up to asking for a beating) not James Bond"

I got so amused by my joke that I stopped watching my show for a while and sat up laughing at him.

Who ask you to disturb me while I am watching my show?

李式笑话- Army styled jacket

I forgot which show we were watching the other night but I saw 1 of the guy wearing a jacket with elbow patches.

Was commenting about it to Mr Love that it seems to be in fashion now to have elbow patches on the jacket and I failed to understand the fashion statement of it.

He then replied me in a very smartass way:

Mr Love : "Oh, I know"

Me: "What?"

Mr Love: " This is for facilitating leopard crawling.." With that, he proceed to show me how to leopard crawl using the elbow..

So, the designer is a Singapore son?

Elbow patches for leopard crawl

李式笑话- 1 year older

Mr Love was complaining to me how disappointing the food at Shangri-la Rasa Sentosa. He had heard me commenting that I saw good review about their The Line buffet in the Orchard branch and had high hopes for this 1 too. Hahah..

So, I told him to bring me there for my 30th bday celebration and the price is SGD 98++/pax if my memory didnt failed me.

The ever beri stingy hubby then asked me, I tot you are turning 31 next yr?

Beri nice, used my Lunar age so that he can escape treating me to this expensive buffet..Damn..

李式笑话-Automation

I have this habit for leaving the dishes in the sink if I had to do something else 1st.

Today, since I wanna continue with my knitting, I placed the cups in the sink 1st and thinking that I would wash later.

Hubs later went in and saw the cup and washed it clean but later came out and suan me.

Mr Love: "  老婆!!!"  He called out excitedly.
"我们新买了一个洗手盆,  auto de"

Me :"huh? ? Where got?"

Mr Love: "Got, some 1 left a cup there hoping for it to be washed automatically,  and it did!!"

Me: .........

绕了一圈,原来是要挖苦我。。。

李式笑话- 万岁爷

I am beri particular about taking breakie as I believed a good breakie will give a good start to your day. More importantly is my body needs it. I fainted once during my sch years when I used to skip breakie.

Mr Love, on the other hand can do with or without it. He will take it if I prepared his share else, he is ok with taking lunch as the 1st meal of the day.

Ever since we got married, I was put in charge of breakie. Reason being, if he is incharged, I am sure I will faint from hunger every day. Hehe

But this is no easy task. To get him to eat breakie without any complaints is as difficult as getting a young kid to do the same. He would complained if I buy the same stuff more often, if its too sweet, or sometimes is simply not to his liking any more. His liking can also change without warning de.

So my task is to remember what I have brought oredi for the week and try my best not to repeat it. Rememeber his comments on the breakie(usually bread) I brought, his likes and dislikes. Once in a while, I will need to throw in some surprise to get him going.

On days that I am lazy to buy anything, he will just grab a cup of coffee from office pantry and pass it off as breakie. I frown upon this habit as drinking coffee with empty stomach is harmful.

And yesterday while doing groceries shopping, I came across cereals in school pack sizes. Hehe got reminded of my sch years where we will beg mummy to buy this as breakie for us but to no avail as it is pretty expensive as compared to bread.

Thinking this might be a fresh idea, I brought a pack home which has 6 small boxes. I also brought 2 small bottles of milk that can be brought along. And this morning, I prepared the container and spoon so that we need not use our office's pantry stuff.. And viola! Mr Love was happie with today's menu.

He took out the container just now and told me he had washed it clean oredi, all the while praising himself..haha

So I told him, I have a more difficult time planning his breakie menu every morning and the least he can do is to clean the container after himself..Noe wat's his answer?

"我是万岁爷叻" of cuz you muz planned the breakie menu every morning with care. Damn...

He watched too much TV serials with me oredi...

李式笑话- Concert any 1?

Jay Chou is in town these 2 nights holding his concert and as far as I can see, many of Mr Love and my fwens went crazy posting pics of his concert in FB..

I was telling Mr Love that I haven been to a concert yet, and he was retorting that he thinks I will njoy Disney on Ice more than those singer's concert. True, haha.

Anyways he say, we can always go to Jim Lee's concert if I ever want to see a singer's concert.

Jim Lee who? I asked...

"Yours truly" lo..

"Huh?" Got me stoned for a minute.

Turns out to be the short form for Jimmy which his aunties keep calling him when he was young and wore the a shirt with "Jimmy" Haha

So...Jim Lee concert anyone?

李式笑话- Sweet moments NOT...

Its was pretty cold in Taipei when we arrived and during nite time, it got even worst if there are wind blowing by. As we stayed in XMD, there are alot of youngsters hanging out there, thus it is not difficult to see the sweet things people do for each other.

Here are 2 cases which I saw and request Mr Love to do the same, check out his reply, I nearly locked him out of our hotel room if he had not begged for forgiveness.

1). At 13deg, it was freezing and it did not help that the wind was blowing at full force. I saw this young man walking backwards to the traffic while facing his gf all the time. It took me a while to realise he is blocking the wind for his gf. How sweet.

So, I asked Mr Love: “老公，你也会帮我挡风吗？”
老公：“不用啦，我的老婆够分量，不用我帮忙挡的。。。”
ME:"t&(^*%&$#^#*"

2). While walking back to our hotel that same night, it was windy again, thus it was chilly. And I saw a couple standing by the MRT exit chatting and all the while, the guy had his hand on the gal's face, trying to warm her up. How sweet again.

Not giving up, I asked Mr Love again : "老公，我的脸也很冷，帮我暖一暖好吗？"
老公：“好，把你的脸放到我的屁股那里，我要放屁了，我的屁是烧的，可以帮你暖脸。。”
And he walked abit quickly and stood there...


I was utterly defeated by him. How can he turn such a romantic scene to something that is so digusting? Nevertheless, I was luffing so hard that I nearly teared. But when I regained my posture, I told him that he could go get another room tonite or see which bench is okie for him to sleep on as he can forget about going back to our room. 

李式笑话- 缘分。。

We went abit further today for breakie- Tiong Bahru Market as I was craving for my chwee kueh and the 1 they sell in Yew Tee CMI..

After I brought bak the chwee kuehs, hubs asked me whether this is from the stall previously selling at the pre-renovated market.I didnt have the answer as I just anyhow hamtam 1 stall and buy since was dying from hunger..

He then told me he frequent Tiong Bahru Market as a child with his parents. Turns out, me too...So I told him maybe we did queue behind each other when we were young but did not know.heheh.. And I further request him to recall seeing a pretty little gal queuing infron/behind him.

He nearly choked on his noodles and proceed to tell me "I onli remember seeing little fat gals during that time, which 1 is you?"

Damn.

Where got fat you tell me?

李式笑话- Small Eater

I was queuing up for the waffles meant for tmr breakie juz now after dinner and I asked hubs the following:

Me: “老公, will the waffle be gone before tmr?

Hubs: "Huh? why leh?"

Me: "Cuz I see your noodles portion pretty small, should be not filling"

Hubs: "Oh, ok la, I am a small eater now"

Me: "Ok lo" and turns away.

10seconds later, hubs look at me sheepishly

Hubs: "老婆, you wan eat macdonald ice cream or not huh?"

Now...where has the self proclaimed small eater gone to?

李式笑话- Proposals..

Was watching CFIL 2 and saw the lead actor proposing to the lead actress without flowers or anything, just a simple "Will you marry me"..

Once hubs saw that, he turned to me(who is doing my best to clear the ironing) and the following conversation starts :

Hubs: "Eh,老婆，his proposal even better leh, without HDB 1.."

Me: " You veri proud of your proposal huh?"

Hubs: "Ya la, at least, I used what most Singaporean guys will use ok, ask you apply HDB with me"

=_=''

Cannot figure out why he is so proud of his own proposal..

He turned back to his show later and left me to continue with ironing HIS clothes..

Men, after marriage..How nice...

李式笑话- Random conversation#8792649231

While watching a re-run of a Korean serial, I came across these lines:

Man (while on his 1st date wif gal): "I am going to remember today, its the happiest day of my life to go on the 1st date with you"

So, as usual, I turned ard to hubs and the following conversation follows:

Me: "老公，我们的第一次 约会是你一生最快乐的日子妈？"

Hubs (all the while eyes not leaving his iPad): "是！"

Me: "那，你还记得是几时的事吗？"

Hubs: "不记得了"

Me: "那你还说是！最快乐的日子可以忘记的么？"

Hubs (Looking sheepish) :" 你知道我有健忘症嘛。。。"

Every time onli noe how to 应酬我。。。。

李式笑话- Out of Habit

I read some where that if u continue to do something for 21 days straight, it will become a habit of yours. No wonder my ex colleagues will go on the detox program for 21 days, I always wonder why this magical number, now, I know this is bak by scientific research..

Was telling hubs on this and told me, hopefully drinkin the yucky chinese medicine would become a habit to me as I need to drink at least for 2 mths. Right now, its a chore for me to drink it due to the awful taste, but I realised, I am slowly getting use to it after a wk...

Den it got him all excited and suddenly he told me he would placed his smelly-saliva coated pillow on my face everynight for 5 mins for 21 days and it would then become a habit of mine to smell his pillow before falling aslp every night..

I seriously cannot understand why he think his smelly pillow is nice smelling and also why should I smell his smelly pillow..Every time I turned my face ard, especially on the 3rd wk after changing the sheets, I would try push his pillow away from me for that saliva smell is too strong. This is usually the sign to change the sheets..whahah And he would need to re-create his smelly pillow...

Well, I assured him tat if his smelly pillow gets anywhere near to me, the pillow will be hitting the trash bin straight for I am afraid it would give me outbreaks with this dried saliva!!!!

李式笑话-Our #468357947 random conversations

After applying the SK II pack that I gave him, this became our nightly conversation :

Hubs: 老婆，我有比较像刘德华吗？
Me: 没有。
Hubs: 有比较像吴尊吗？
Me: 有。。。比较像无赖。。hehehe

One fine day just before falling aslp, hubs was telling me that he had no motivation for working nowadays, perhaps is due to the office politics, perhaps is due to he loss of our child recently. And part of the conversation went as below:

Me: No motivation ar?
Hubs: Ya lo..
Me: Come, I give you some motivations want?
Hubs: Wat motivations?
Me: You muz make it your aim to 赚很多很多钱来买很多很多 Miu Miu bags 给我。。这就是你的motivation..
Hubs: I dun wan go work tmr le...heheh

李式笑话- Dating or Married

The other day, after Mr Love had finished parking the car, as we were getting down, I saw the guy opposite us opening the door for his female passenger to get in before going back to his seat to start the car..

And I refuse to budge from my seat, insisting Mr Love aso do the same for me as he had neber done it before..

His reply is "Tat 1 is initial stages of DATING, we are Married, no need la"

=_=''

李式笑话 -Joke of the day-28/09/11

Went for dinner after our jog, as we walked past Mac, Mr Love was pointing to the new burger that they haf..

Then I was telling him, wanna eat mac muz go for lunch...All the servings are the same but it is much cheaper at $4.50 or 5bucks...Those who go for dinner are stupid lo..cuz they waste monies...

Then he reply "Den you walk into Mac now lo and point to every 1 and shout "你们都是笨蛋！！！" den quickly run out..

I luff for a good 3min after he said tat and as we past by Mac, he keep urgin me to go in.

My hubs has the ability to crack lame jokes at unpredictable time..

李式笑话- A 片

Last nite as I lay on the bed, watching tv while falling aslp, Mr Love suddenly asked me ＂老婆，你要看A 片吗?＂ I got a shocked of my life lo..

I questioned him on how he got his hands on this kind of film n he cheekily told me it's horror movie with some violence, thus it's rated "RA" n short form will be A片lo..His colleague loan him the film n told him the rating n he decided to disturb me with it..*_*""