Post natal blues. It sounds like something so far away from me. Once in a while I heard friends telling me their experience but no damage is done and also because it's over and therefore they can relate to me in a light hearted manner which kinda bring the severity down.
Recently a friend gave birth and by chance while chatting with her, I sensed that she might be suffering from post natal blues. Nothing too serious at the moment but still it's something we should not ignore or neglect.
I try to listen and provide as much support as I can. Try to be encouraging and also answered her queries to my best knowledge hoping that she will not feel so helpless in the situation.
This whole episode makes me realised how lucky I'm to escape post natal blues, being a first time mum and some more to twins. I had great family support even till now. My mum and elder brother help me out greatly, letting me gain back whatever sanity I can salvage. My hubby although not well versed in caring for the babies showed me that he tried his best to learn the ropes. He also did not shy away from the dreadful housework since we did not have a helper.
But most of all, I know I'm strong willed. I know I cannot afford to sink into depression since the Dinos are dependent on my well being now. I'm also not the kind to read parenting tips or guide. I rely solely on common sense, gut feelings and a bit of mummy's advices to get through.
And ya I dun care how people judged me. I always have this hao lian mindset that if you wanna judge my parenting skills. Go have a set of twins and with no helper and work full time somemore then you can come judge and teach me what to do. In another words, if you are not in my shoes, I appreciate you keep your parenting ideas to yourself or better still use on your own kids.
Another important point is I try to let myself have a bit of break whenever I can. Be it walking to the train station in the cool morning, go for evening jog twice a week, walking aimlessly in supermarket during lunch break or taking leave to go for monthly dates with Mr Love. Sure, I do feel guilty sometimes that I could have spent the time with Dinos but deep down I know I need the break to find back my identity before it is all lost in the name of motherhood.
I firmly believed that there is no good or bad parenting as long as we are not mistreating our children.
People now I realised are too caught up with the different parenting theories and in the process they forgot how to enjoy the process of parenting. 13months into this parenting business and everyday I'm learning new things while caring for the Dinos. Everyday they come up with something new and I have to react on the spot to them and this is no guide books can help since every child is different.
I must say I do enjoy motherhood though sometimes its tiring and the rewards far exceed everything. Hopefully those who going through post natal blues or thought you might be entering one can seek help and walk out of it and then start enjoy the joy of motherhood. I promised its a magical journey and you will remembered it for many many years to come.
