A step closer -34wks 5days

Today is my last scan with ADC and to quote the MO's word. I officially 'graduated' from their clinic.

Everyone was happy for us to be able to graduate from this clinic and was told that twinnies are 2.04kg and 2.08kg each now. Water bag is at 3.1cm and 2.3 cm.

Mummy gained 200g since last week check.

I was nearly in tears when the sonograhper and MO told me separately that we did good for MC twins pregnancy. It was the 1st time I've heard encouraging words from ADC. Haha.

You have no idea how much it was for me for the past 14weeks and as we advanced nearer to our scheduled date, I felt more relax. I thanked my boys for listening to their mummy, I thank them for hanging on with me despite all the scares, I thank them for beefing up to prepare themselves for the world and I thank them for being active everyday( or mostly night time) to let me know they are doing good inside me.

It was emotional to just think of the mid stage where all the scares are. But like the MO said. Worst is over, I should be happily awaiting their arrival :)

My gynae cleared my report since bp is in control with the medication and told me to book my package with KKH. With this done, we are another step closer though there will be one final check 2 days before delivery next week.

Am really looking forward to holding my boys in my arms not via my belly. Haha

 May god protect us and bless my boys to be healthy and strong.

Back to Gynae 33wks 6days

So I was transferred back to my original gynae cuz he is back to delivering babies. Yay.

And he requested me to go down for a follow up due to my high bp readings and my blood test.

Was scared stiff when his nurse told me that my blood test results wasn't too good. Am bracing myself for stay in hospital. Any other issue is twinnies' weight which is a bit on the low side at 1.4kg and 1.58kg at last check.

Haven hit minimum 2kg mark. But I tried my best already. Its not easy since I cannot over eat due to high bp and high sugar risks. Also we dunno which twin will absorb the food. Lastly, I get full easily since I think there isnt much space already. Haha

Gynae has assured me that they are growing steadily though small. Weight difference is insignificant which is an important check for MC twins. So we are on track.

Anyways the stupid machine again gave readings of 164/90 when I'm already on medication. Damn. 

The nurse was very nice to ask me to rest there and chat then we take the readings after 5 min. And I passed with 115/75. Ahhh thats more like it. Since my home readings after medication is usually around this range. Mummy even brought along our own machine should I cannot get any good readings at the hospital machines. Haha

The blood test after the scare set us back by 250bucks and it is the 2nd time they ordered the same test due to my high bp readings. Both results came back fine. Though heart pain about the monies, at least we are cleared of the risks.

Gynae didn't mentioned anything about my blood test and I didn't probe further since he is well know for not saying much if your pregnancy is smooth. I also didn't want him to scold his nurse for scaring me on the phone. So I just accept that all is good.

Weight gain for me today is 500g. And he did an estimated check on twinnies and told me both are in 1.8-1.9kg range which means we need wait another week after my initial scheduled date for the babies to hit 2kg. Was super happy since they suddenly gained 400-500g within a week. Haha.

He also checked my cervix length which is at 2.5cm and is still acceptable and told me that he needs see me weekly to monitor my bp readings before confirming my csect date. But he is confident 4th Feb should be ok to deliver my twinnies.

And so I went home happily. No need stay and all is good at the moment. Waiting for 1 more 34th week scan in ADC before they officially discharged from ADC and put me back into my gynae's hand.

Hope all will go well.

Throwback- 33wk 3days

And so the good news is I need not get admitted. Just went observation and we came home. Though I will need report weekly to gynae to monitor now with 3wks left to D-day but I'm grateful to come home to sleep on my bed.

Blood pressure is still within control with the kiasu me taking readings every hr. Haha Gynae say I need not get too stress. He gave me a table to record thrice a day only. But the medications did have side effects of giddiness and headache for me so I'm drowsy the whole day.

We will do a check on my cervical length to decide whether we can hold till 37th weeks for full term babies. Gynae also told me not too worry too much on the babies being smaller since its the normal for twinnies. He is happy with them passing 1.4kg and hopefully they can hit 2kg when we deliver. 

So I just lie down and relax and hope we can last more haha.

Anyways was watching The Return of Superman and saw Sarang and her Dad visiting Busan and Haedong Dragon Temple. Ahh it brought back fond memories of Mr Love and I making a trip there. I remembered mentioning somewhere that I touched the Buddha of Granting Son twice and to my stomach just to be in the kiasu side. Haha not sure whether this is the reason that I conceived twins.

Taken with The temple as background

I remember the hike up to the temple and the many steps to Godness of Mercy where I prayed sincerely to her to grant our wish of having a baby. I remember how we initially didn't have this place in our plan but slot in last minute and kick out the shopping plans. Am very glad we saw this beautiful seaside temple. 

The fact that we will managed to conceived after making a trip here makes it extra special. For the next time when we visit, we will be a family of 4 instead of 2. And also this is our last couple trip where we could explore anywhere so freely. 

Buddha of Granting A Son whom I touched twice

In fact I missed alot of things about Busan. Its food, scenery, friendly people, more relax pace than Seoul and the time we spent there exploring. I wasn't that impressed with Seoul haha. Perhaps we might not be able to visit in these upcoming few years but I'll always remember this city where we visited that hold a special palce in my heart.

Speaking of which. I have yet to complete my Korea trip entries haha. Too difficult to sit up and type with my tummy. And not easy to type using phone since uploading pictures here is a chore.

Shall continue after my confinement IF I have the time and enegry.

Not very good- 32 Weeks 5days

We did our 32 wks doppler scan yest and sonographer confirm the blood flow are good for twinnies.

However twinnies are abit on the small side though both did gain 200g each. Sonographer also told me no point to increased food intake since we dont know which twin will absorb the food.

But their weight difference is at 8% which is pretty good and means that they are on the small side only. Twin A is at 1.4kg and Twin B is at 1.585kg. Water bags are at 3.1cm. Mummy gained 400g since last visit.

The not so good news mummy's blood pressure which is kinda high at 146/90 which didn't get better despite repeated tests. It was enough for the house doc to call for help from my gynae's cover since she is on leave.

They will looking to admit me for 48hrs for observation where my bp will be monitor every 4hours and will be given medication to bring down my bp.

However I was not keen on staying in hospital as I usually cannot rest well there. Moreover I can monitor my own bp with the equipment at home and since I'm not moving around, I should be ok.

Doc agreed to let me go home with med and ask me monitor my bp every 4hours. I will have to report back immediately if my bp remains high or shoot up. Was also sent to a blood test before going home and given a temporary follow up appointment with my gynae next wed which he might change if he decides I need an earlier one after they brief him on my case.

However this morning, my gynae's nurse called and told me that I will need report back to my gynae tmr as my blood test report findings were not favourable.

I'm actually pretty scared by the appt tmr since it sounds like he's gonna admit me for observation 

already. We are 3weeks and 2days away from D day and I do hope we can last till then to allow twinnies to bake more and gain weight.

Also so far readings at home had been good and much lower after I took the medication. Mummy said to bring our equipment there to show them how I used it to ensure I'm recording correct readings.

The pelvic pain kicks in 2days ago and had been bothering me since when I walked. It is painful and will acts up when I walked and turn sides while lying down.
 

Quite painful but I suppose its part of the pregnancy package.

I can only pray hard now that the medication is working well on me and my bp drop back to optimal range and also the blood result findings are not too serious to ask for admission. I do want to rest at home where its more comfortable. But above all else if I should need to be admitted then I will have to accept it for the well being of my twinnies.

Please let everything be well till they are of good weight to come out. Please.

Why me-31weeks 5days

Mummy was relating to me the other day about 1 of my uncle feeling down cause he was sick. Not very sick but enough to get him into OT twice in span of months. He was not young but still active prior to this. And after his operations, he was asked to stay at home quitting his job and to forgo his weekly trips down town.

It was enough to make him down and his temper which was non existence till now took a turn for worst. He kept questioning why he was down with this kind of illness when all his life he did nothing evil.

The thing about this is the "Why Me" part.

Told mum that's life and nothing is fair in life. You can do nothing wrong in your whole life but also got hit by a certain illness or misfortune. There is no explanation for things that are sometimes fated.

The thing about us is we only tend to question " Why Me" in bad times but in good times, we just 

accept the good fortune happily.

Take me for instance. When I first lost XB in 2012. I had thousands of these tots in me. Why is it that some women can have such easy pregnancy and I had to be part of the 15-20% of women who will miscarriage. I was careful all along yet it still happens.

Why is it that I yearn so much to have a child and it took us 3 years to conceive after multiple trips to TCM and hospital for check ups and finally we hit the jackpot one fine day.

But I stopped having these thinking one day when I realised there is no point questioning. There are many more couples who is still trying with no luck or going the even more harder way than us. We are consider lucky that we managed to conceive before doctor took us to a more advance step of medical help.

But when I realised I'm carrying twinnies, I didn't question "Why me". I accepted this blessing from god happily cause I thought god had took pity on me after waiting for 3 years and gave me 2 babies at one shot. I was still very careful in the pregnancy but was over the moon about having twins.

Then the incompetence cervix issue hit us at week 21 check up and the junior doc mentioned I might miscarriage. I was devastated. Well into my 2nd trimester which many told me its a honeymoon trimester and the safest of all, I was hit by this news. I was hysterical in the room. Begging the doctors to do whatever they can to help keep my babies.

The "why me" question hit me again. In the wake of the few days while I bed rest completely in hospital I questioned that why is it that I need faced this all over again. Even more scary is there is not enough studies on successful cases on how twins pregnancy can hold for IC cases. And most around me had not heard about IC till I was diagnosed with it.

Many was curious, sympathetic but some were skeptical about how serious my condition was. I was in a daze not knowing what's next and can only pray for the best. I went ahead with the cerclage surgery though doctors would not commit on the successful rate. The other option is to do nothing and ride it out but I was too chicken not to do anything. I need to do something that might be able to help my babies no matter what.

You know how scared I'm of needles? To go through surgery with half anaesthetic is a breakthrough for me. Never did I know I was this strong mentally till I faced the crossroads and took the chosen path. I took the leap of faith and went ahead with my heart when no one can give me any assurance of the future of us. I stop asking the "Why me" question and focus on being strong enough for my babies.

Even lying in bed all day worrying and feeling upset, I forced myself to eat well for the sake of them. I started to request mummy to cook extra food for me since hospital food sucks and I wanted extra nutrients for my twins. I would shamelessly request for snacks whenever my family is visiting me to make sure I don't go hungry. Even when mil cooked soups for me, I would accept it without 2nd thoughts of troubling her with all the travelling. This was how desperate I am to be strong for my babies. I don't give a damn about any other things and only focus on being well enough for them. 

With this, we pulled through the week and was let home.

Nothing in this world can describe the feelings I have for the past 10wks of hospitalization leave at home trying my best to keep the babies still baking. Every 2 weeks we checked for their well being at the hospital and every follow up is a milestone passed.

I've learnt not to question too much on why I was subjected to this since every pregnancy is different and there are other women suffering in other form of risks. I've learnt to accept help from people be it family or friends who had so kindly offered their hands in times of need. I've learnt to throw every other thoughts out of the window and solely focus on my babies well being as the main priority.

Most importantly, I've learnt not to question why this happen to me and wallow in self pity but to instead count my blessings for everyday past.

This doesn't only apply to my situation. It can apply to any situation should you be able to find light in it no matter how dim the light is.

Cravings of a pregnant woman- 31wks1 day

Happy 2016!!! Though we did nothing to usher the new year haha. Slept through the count down and babies woke up early at 6am to call me up for toilet break. Took 2hrs to go back to sleep since they are very active after my visit to toilet haha.

I certainly look forward to 2016 since twinnies will be arriving in this year. Man how long have we waited. Things are not easy towards the last part of 2015 and I'm glad we tide through it. Hopefully everything will be smooth from now on for this pregnancy.

So there are alot of things that pregnant woman stay off and because of the bed rest order, I'm not able to go out at all to enjoy whatever food I crave for. Mr Love did his best to da bao back but it's just not the same. Furthermore, my mummy watches my intake of food strictly. Mr Love recently cut me some slack since he finds me pitiful haha but still there are certain restrictions.

So here's the list of food I wanna have after giving birth in no order of preference.

1). Japanese food especially sushi.
Been craving for this ever since preggies but its a big no no for pregnant woman. Don't even dare to eat the cook sushi items.

2). Korean BBQ. Its not I cannot eat during pregnancy. Is because I'm not able to go out and eat this now. And dun forget kimchi, sondubu, Ginseng chicken soup, seafood pancake etc. Haha

3). Crabs. Salted egg and chilli flavour. Crabs are deem to be too cooling for pregnant women. So I need stay off this for the entire pregnancy and crab is my favourite seafood.

4). All other food cooked in salted egg. Squid, fried chicken etc. Haha

5). My self cook budaejjigae. Since it contains ham,luncheon meat and Maggie mee, its prohibited in my diet. I crave for the spiciness and instant noodles.

6). Ice cream. Rum & raisin, peppermint flavours.

7). Coke. A can by myself. My mum ration a super small cup for me once it a while but it's not shiok at all.

8). Durains. Some pregnant woman can take it during pregnancy but gynae advised against it in my case. Since I'm carrying twins, it will not be advisable if they are too big sized and it will causes spike in sugar level.

9). Mala hotpot. Not sure why got this craving but anything too spicy now is no no. But I reckon I need wait longer for this if I am breastfeeding the twinnies.

10). The plum and rice wine in my fridge. Haha I'm no drinker but since its sitting in my fridge, I'm very tempted to drink on some days.

Haha I think I just listed down most of the prohibited food for pregnant women. Hehe.

Nevermind, I will tolerate for a 2 months plus and I'll be free to eat whatever I am or so I hoped. Hehe.