Of attention and love and sleepless nights

I often get questions on how is Twins motherhood for me since I'm like a zombie most of my waking hours recently. You try not to get much sleep for 2 and half months and have to pacify crying babies in the middle of the nights and you will know why I look and act like a zombie.

Then again, it's part and parcel of Motherhood and I know I just have to rough it out.

Some senseless people will comment like why The Dinos are 18mths already and yet they still don't sleep through the night while their own (kid, nephews, niece, or whoever kid they knew) is already doing so at 6months.

Really, how the heck I know? I take it that my kids are more textbooks babies i.e Go through ALL the problems listed in those help books like Sleep Regression @ 4th, 10th and 18th months, milk strike, Terrible 2 stages (Yes, it had began) etc etc.

It doesn't make things easier that they both go through these together and I do not have a 50%  discount with 1 giving me a hard time only.

My question is SO WHAT?

So what my kids are making me suffer?

I became their mother by choice. In fact I fought hard to bring them to this world knowing what I am in for though not knowing the magnitude.

I knew it's not going to be easy dealing with twins and we decided not engaging a helper.

I wanted to experience motherhood even though it is tough when I am a full time working mother.

I wanted to look back knowing that I tried my very best as a mother to my kids, bringing in the dough with their Papa and yet look after them wholeheartedly. I wanted to give them all my love and attention in whatever limited amount I have left after work.

After all you cannot be giving them life and leaving them to other's care be it Grandparents or helper.

I might not be the best mother who planned everything perfectly for them but I do plan in their best interest.

Of course there are days when I feel so tired that I just wanna fall back and sleep my butt off. But I will always be on my feet again when reminded on how not easy I got the Dinos.

I know that these shall all pass soon and a day will come that they would not need my full attention or reciprocate my loving actions to them.

But before that day comes, I wanna enjoy basking in their attention and love.

My boys including the old 1.