I neber knew...

Had a conversation with a PRC the other day and was shocked to find out that he was fully sponsored by our government to come here to studee in our university..

He told me 4-5yrs bak, our government had a campaign in which they go ard the various uni in China to look for students who would wan come and studee at our uni and offered them scholarships, along with a 500buck allowance monthly..And they will be bonded to Singapore for 6 yrs after graduation

I was beri shocked that this, for I didnt know our gov had resort to giving out monies to asked plp to come studee at our uni while all this time, the local studee had to take loans to studee in our uni..Some like me, dun even had a chance to go..Damn...

I guess some others do noe about this but plp like us who are in the work force may not know.When I relate to hubs later, he was super piss offf..

1stly, our gov deprives us the chance to go for an college education as they had filled up the places with foreign students..On top off it, they come here for free educaion, complete with lodging..To make matters worse,they are given 500bucks per mth as allowance..All these, using the taxpayers monies..Who are the taxpayers? Us..And they use our monies to breed their foreign talents who might not even stay on after 6 yrs in Singapore...

Should the gov had given this chance to local students, I am sure they are able to breed out more local talents..Why is that they choose the foreigners over our local students? And they can complain that our local talents are all going overseas to settle down..The fact is, our own country dun even appreciate us!!!

I applied for full time course bak when I was in my last yr of poly where the entry rules are stricter for poly students and didnt manage to get a place..A yr later, when I was working, I applied again but this time for a part time place as my family couldnt afford to let me go on for full time position..Got in but had to give up half way as it was simply too heavy to continue with my work, plus they had an policy of hafing an average of C while my results are always juz scraping thru during uni..I couldnt meet their expectations..

This would been different if my gov had given me tat option of applying for the scheme they had given to the foreigners..I would be happily bond myself to Singapore for the next 60years, not 6 years..500 bucks per mth is enuff for me to survive as a student..I dun even need u to provide me lodging as I have a home here..The free education is wat I am after..My dad's CPF is barely enuff for my hse loan and younger bro's poly education, let alone to pay for my uni fees...

Yet, this scheme was neber meant to be for Singaporeans..How sad...I am not sure whether how long they had this scheme or whether it had been discontiuned but I am sure this is not widely known for I had not seen reports on this..Now, I know why the younger generations this yr voted against the gov during GE 2011, not onli the working young adults, those studying are also doing so...

You deserved it PAP, for favouring foreigners over your own plp and u expect them to vote for you. We paid your salaries, we paid taxes, we worked towards nation building and yet you gave the chance to excel to an outsider who I repeat, might not stay in Singapore after serving their bond, I haven take into account of those who broke the bond and neber came bak...

And to tink I had always tot onli in work we are facing competition..Now I noe back when I was trying to get a higher education, I had oredi been abandon by my own gov..Thank you PAP for making it happen.. I hope GE 2016, you will be voted out, onli then you noe how not to bite the hand tat feed u...I had lost hope and the believe I always had till this yr that you are the best gov..Never again I am believin in you, I am dishearten...And I shudder to tink of my kids' future in your hands..

满满都是爱。。。

My knitting project starts last dec..heheh and I tried to rush through it in Jan & Feb hoping it would be in time for our Shanghai trip during CNY..but I didnt manage lo..whahaha

I sort of forgot about it till when I was sick tat time and grounded at home and thus picked up again, still I didnt put in full effort as I still need studee for exam..hehehe

Finally, last wk, I manage to complete it..I had forgot the steps on binding and I went online to search for tutorial..Whhahaha youtube is realli best, I followed step by step and finally finished the scarf le..whahaha I am so happie..

Told Mr Love tat he gotta bring me to a winter country by the end of this yr or early next year so that he can used the scarf I knitted for him..So that he cannot feel the 满满的爱  in the scarf and be warmed by it...whahah

My 爱心 scarf

I had since embarked on the 2nd scarf, this time pink colour for myself..Hopefully can finish in time for the next trip..whahaha I even planned to knit a purple 1 for mummy for her next yr Italy trip tat she is planning.. OK ok, lets nt get too carried away..let me finished my 2nd 1 den see how..after all, it needs a lot of time and effort to finish knitting 1.... =p

Picture perfect

Just saw on 1 of my close fwen's FB tat her whole family went on a trip to Taiwan..They all look so happie in the photos..Her parents, twin brothers & sister..It is so picture perfect...Still rememebered the conversation we had last yr during our meet up where she asked for my opinion where to go for a family trip..Fast forward to a year later, they realli embarked on the trip...Feel so happie for them :)

At the same time, I felt a tinge of envy while looking over the photos..This kind of trip will never take place in my household..Maybe with my mummy and brothers but will neber be completed with my dad..Thus seeing my close fwen embarking on this trip somehow brings out the fact that my family is never gonna be completed. It will always be a lifelong regret for me...

Well, wat to do, this is the family I've been born to and I should accept the fact, but it doesnt change the fact that every now and then I get affected when I am reminded of this fact...

Of hunger & backbone

Was chatting with mummy the other day and she mentioned that she is 1 stubborn person, even more stubborn than me..

She recalled that when she was young, whenever she quarrelled with my Ah ma, she would not take her meals..She would juz go sit inside the room and sulk..And my poor ah ma would have to prepare the meal and take into the room to pacify her and eat..

Ah ma would tease her when she gave birth to me that mummy is now facing retribution as she aso have a daughter to make life difficult for her..whahaha..how true..I was never a obedient child from young..not to mentioned a bad tempered 1 to start with..

But having been educated in Chinese schools, mummy neber believe in giving in to us..Let alone pacify us...

I still remembered when I was young, even when I quarrel with her and lock myself in the room, when it is mealtime, I would open the door, made my way out to the kitchen, finish my meal and go back to my room n continued to sulk..wahahah

Never once, mummy needs to come in and cajole me to go for my meal..I juz simply cannot stand being hungry!! Plus, my hse had no "emergency food" to speak off..I dun have the extra monies to buy them either. Plus, it is a big no no to keep food in the room.Mummy will kill us if she finds food in the room..Thus, I will have no choice but to go out and eat my meal.

Also, there is this rule of onli eating your meals on the dining table, it is strictly forbidden to bring food outside the kitchen..Again, this leaves me no choice but to eat at the dinning table facing mummy even thought I am still beri angry..And mind you, I will not eat a little bit and then go back to my room. I will make sure I am full oredi before going back to my room...

So, mummy was telling me..Luckily, I have no backbone de..Angry will still open the door and come out for meals..She even confessed that if I dun come out, she will leave me as it is, let me feel the hunger lo..Damn...

I juz cannot stand feeling hungry can..wat no backbone  =_=''

Mother & Daughter Bonding day

As both of us are not working today, we decided that today is a mother & daughter bonding day where we will eat & shop, eat & shop...whahaha

We 1st went to Red Star Restaurant off Chin Swee Road for breakie cum lunch..Mummy had been yearning to go there ever since Liang Liang told her that their dim sum is good and neber bring her there..whahah She was further tempted when I told her Mr Love & I went on 1 wkday and quite like their dim sum..

So today, we finally went..The 2 of us onli..As it was a wkday, it is not crowded at all. But the stupid lift is under construction, and we couldnt find the other lift..So we climbed 7 floors up..Nearly died on the way up..

Mummy says she still find Zhou's kitchen dim sum better, its like we over stated the tastieness of the dim sum here..but she still quite alot kk...Stayed there for an hr b4 proceeding to her 5th aunt hse..

My 5th grand aunt was quite sweet, knowing that we are paying her a visit, she made fresh orange jucie for us while waiting for our arrival..Neber realli visit her for more than 10yrs although on n off, I still meet her during some special occasions...Chatted with her for quite a while there..She looks pretty lonely to me, but nevertheless, she seems to be in pink health :)..

Next is to Guan Yin temple, juz nice today is 15th of the month and we went there to make prayers..I always have high regards for Guan Yin Niang Niang and would visit the temple every month to pray for good health and safety for the whole family...

As the weather is killing us, we went into OG to do some shopping..Walked ard aimlessly while chatting..Mummy brought some clothes there while I found nothing to my liking..den she suggest to go eat some tang yuan b4 taking bus home..win oredi lo, we juz had a fulfilling brunch and she wan eat tang yuan now...

She ordered the big bowl consisting of 6 for herself kk..I was still telling her to order the smaller bowl and we 2 share..Win oredi lo...I end up eating the smaller bowl of 4 tang yuans..super full...

Took 67 bak to CCK and chatted along the way till the both of us felt slply..whahaa..back to CCK, she smmore can ask me go drink coffee and eat some small breads..I nearly fainted..She claims tat she eat more meals in smaller quantity..But no leh, she eat more than me during every meal today lo...I onli manage to drink the coffee but she took 2 small breads aso...Amazing...

Its 1 of these trips that reminds me how I love my mummy, I'm aso her onli shoppin & eating mate..I seldom see her going on these trips with her fwens..at most go haf a meal n go hm..But with her, I cannot buy much..she will nag at me de...whahha So, end up usually is she buy and I pay for her meals for the day...But still, it feels good to be able to go out with her once in a while to bond although I still call her n chat EVERYDAY..

Sometimes, Mr Love will wonder how come I've got so much things to tok to my mum till every day muz give her a buzz..But what do he knows? This is call mother & daughter bond...I aso wanna haf a daughter to bond with me next time...whahaha

害怕失去。。

害怕失去，所以不想拥有。。

Is this correct? Perhaps..I once have this thinking too. Afraid of losing, rather dun haf it.

The pain of losing something, is wat I dun like.

Be it kinship, friendship, relationship..I lost before at some point of my life.

The pain, is indescribable.

Recovery, takes a long time.

Sometimes, I might not recover from the lost

But merely, hiding it deep inside my heart.

But still, sometimes, I still want to give it a try

Maybe, its the power of these plp,who gave me the confidence of believing in them

Maybe I still believe in the good nature of human

Nevertheless, there are times I gain some, lost some

In every process, I grew up a little

Learnt to let go,

Learnt not to let my heart rule over my head

There are also times, I failed.

Then, I will go into mild depression mode

But there are neber times that I wan to give up

Because I still believe this world is Beautiful ...

PC Fair 2011

Its been quite a while since we last went to a PC fair..Reason being, we have nothing to buy lo and I dun realli like to go n squeeze with all those others..Before, sometimes when Mr Love wants to go check out some new technologies, we will go there and walk walk abit la..

But yest, as my lappie died on me, Mr Love decided to go there and check out the lappie prices..We went to courts and challenger to check out the lappie there as there is this promotion over at Yew Tee branch where they state they will match the PC show price...whahah but when we went to the Funan branch, no such promotion was in place leh..

Anyways, we decided to make a trip down to the PC show this mornin.We had neber been there on the last day b4 for fear of getting squeezed flat by the crowd..We reached there at 12, the offical opening time..It is already quite crowded there le..And we walked ard, checking out the lappie prices..

We then went up to the 6th level to check out the media tv boxes tat I beri much wanted to buy..Its those streaming devices where we can watch dramas from all other countries via streaming..But the devices they sell there are those connected to TV de..but the 1 I am lookin for is the USB type, to view using lappie de..

End up,I gave up..Dun wan to buy becuz of the price..I find it not worth it..Plus, I can still download it,juz tat need some effort to search..whahah..

In the end, we onli brought 1 lappie..not mine but Mr Love..I did not buy in the end as I am able to solve my lappie problem and it became alive again..So I see no point in buying 1 at the moment..Maybe 3 mths later during Comex I will consider it again..whahaha..but lappie price is realli cheap now lo..699 can get u a i5 processor,6GB ram blah blah blah..good enuff for home users like me..whahah realli good price..I was skeptical of the prices there as I think it will not be so cheap..but after today's trip, I changed my perception le..Especially on the last day, they realli slash the price lo..I think maybe towards closing they might throw in more feebies..but I am in no mood to wait till closing time la..699 is good enuff..whahah juz tat i didnt buy..

As for the media streaming device, I found out that my bro onli brought the USB device in China for RMB80 kk??He got it during his trip there last wk..Damn cheap lo!!!Mr Love's colleague brought an identical 1 here for 100++ bucks here during the previous show..Although this time, they dun have this on sale but still it is super over price here!!N my sweet bro loaned me the device..whahah for me to try..heng ar...saved my 199bucks...

Bad week

It has been a realli bad week for me...

1stly, dunno what I ate wrongly. Suffered from diarrhea for 2 days or is it due to exam stress? I dunno. Doesnt help that my "auntie" came to visit me during this period. Tok about bad mood.

And while trying to save a cup from breaking while doing the dishes, I accidentally got poked on the plam by a knife and now my plam has this cool looking scar on it..Like shit....

Yest, after shower, for no apparent reason, I slipped and fell hard outside my bathroom. I dunno wat happen but juz lost my foot hold and fell backwards.

While trying to break my fall with my left hand, it suffer abrasions on the palm..And not to mention my bum which bear most of the impact...Damn suay can? Was realli upset when I came back to the room and was super piss with Mr Love and he asked me why I am so accident prone.

I mean, I was oredi hurting like mad when I limped bak to the room, cant he juz showed abit of concern on where I hurt myself instead of asking me why I am so accident prone? It makes me so mad that I refuse to speak to him until he comes pacify me..

And lastly, my lappie ki siao on me again..It has problems accessing my user profile thus disabling my usage of it..damn..lucky this is not the 1st time I encountered this problem and I managed to sovle it using the tactic tat my bro taught me the other time..But still it took me quite awhile to get it up and not to mentioned I forgot to backup some of my "favourite links" and lost them again!!!! Damn, this wk has not been smooth sailing..Especially yest...Hopefully, the coming week will be a better 1...

Uniquely Singapore-Our Aiport

Having been to some airports in Asia, I muz say ours is 1 of the busiest 1 in the world.In terms of air traffic and the human flow there...

Stepping into our airport (I was at T3), 1 might be mistaken that they are in Jurong Point on a weekday night. The human traffic there are huge lo..And to think T3 is still undergoing construction for more shops to be opened in the upcoming months..The food court were filled to the brim, people are standing there waiting for seats...

I am sure there are many there who are like Mr Love and me, who are not there to pick/send some 1 off, but instead juz going there for a meal..It might be a little crazy for us to travel so far for a meal, but actually we quite like the ambience there..whahah and not to mention some shops there have thr 7% GST discount and occassionally more other discounts..Believe it or not, I usually get my stuff from Watsons there...

And we like to walk around the airport after dinner, juz walk and talk and enjoy the aircon...It reminds me alot of our dating years where we spent long hrs taking the bus to the airport, grab a bite,walk ard and take the long bus ride bak hm..This actually kills time you know? the long travelling hehehe..

So another thing that will be uniquely Singapore will be Singaporeans are treating their airports like juz another shopping centre..whahha I think this is wat the airport is trying to do aso, else why should they built so many shops there and have promotions on shopping there every now and then? This is pretty special, unlike other airports which seems to be a dead town (Taipei Tao Yuan T1) , ours is acutally bustling with activities..

Even during wee hours of the night when I stayed overnight once there while waiting to check in at 4am, you can see people sitting in the cafes, in the airport, not noisy but not too dead either..Maybe its becuz we are so small that our airport is very accessible for us and with the MRT, it attracts more plp to go there aso whenever they feel like it..The clean and nice environment there is aso a contributing factor...

Well, I love going to our airport, be it to eat or to shop..Hehehe Hope there will be more shops opening there...This is uniquely Singapore..Our Singapore Changi Airport

Feeling pretty emo now...

Am feeling pretty emo now..Not sure why, feel like crying but dunno for wat reason..Its 1 of the phase again and I juz need to wait for myself to get out of the phase...

On a side note, this is my current fav song..been listening to it over and over again..But the more I listen, the more I wanna cry..Damn...

Sometimes when we touch-Olivia Ong

You ask me if I love you
And I choke on my reply
I'd rather hurt you honestly
Than mislead you with a lie
And who am I to judge you
On what you say or do?
I'm only just beginning to see the real you

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Romance and all its strategy
Leaves me battling with my pride
But through the insecurity
Some tenderness survives
I'm just another writer
Still trapped within my truth
A hesitant prize fighter
Still trapped within my youth

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

At times I'd like to break you
And drive you to your knees
At times I'd like to break through
And hold you endlessly

At times I understand you
And I know how hard you've tried
I've watched while love commands you
And I've watched love pass you by

At times I think we're drifters
Still searching for a friend
A brother or a sister
But then the passion flares again

And sometimes when we touch
The honesty's too much
And I have to close my eyes and hide
I wanna hold you til I die
Til we both break down and cry
I wanna hold you till the fear in me subsides

Different points of view

Juz picked mummy and piggy bro up from the airport where they embarked on a 5days tour to Fujian, Mummy's granddad hometown..

Along the way, mummy was filling me in with the happenings on during the 5days, and as usual, I made some comments...

Mummy cannot understand why I always have to answer bak to those elders, and I dun understand why mummy want to stomach down all tat while she can stand up for herself..

I mean, why bother to complain when you wan to stomach down the rubbish things plp do, if you juz tolerate of the sake of tolerating, why make things so hard for urself? For the person doing the rubbish act is not sparing a tot for you in the 1st place...

I am not trying to be a difficult person, but in my view, in the process of getting together, you muz give n take not give in all the time and allow others to push you by thinking "oh nvm, I will tolerate because they are my bro/sis/relative/fwens/neighbours blah blah blah"

If the other party dun respect you, stand up for urself!!! Dun let plp push you to the edge and you still tolerate and after tat come bak n complains..Further more, let plp take advantage..I always have this tinking..I dun take advantage of you, you also dun dream of taking advantage of me..

Extreme, you may think..This is wat Xinyi once told me..But try to be in my shoes, growing up in my environment, you will find this way the most practical way to survive..

If we got thru the awful years solely by our own means, pls do not come n expect things in return now that we are living a better life..Where r u when we are suffering? Call me selfish, I would like to enjoy my fruits of labour n not shared with plp who dun contribute at all...

I noe mummy is soft hearted..too soft hearted in fact, sometimes gotta knock some sense into her..This is not the era of  我为人人，人人为我.In fact, this is the era of 人不为己，天诛地灭...

My dad in law once told me 防人之心，不可无，害人之心，不可有。。。I liked this advice alot alot..and to a certain extend, this is wat i keep reminding myself..

Since we have different views and she cannot accept my views, I juz have to shut up..But I juz wanna let you noe Mummy, no matter wat, you muz noe those advices I gave you may not sound nice to your ears, but it is of your good..As your daughter, I need to always put your best interest as priority..It is 1 thing you can accept the advices or not, but it is my duty to put it across to you..Maybe 1 day, you will noe wat I am trying to tell you...

CSI

As I bathed quite late every nite so, it is unavoidable for me to use the dryer to dry my hair..

But I faced the same problem as all other gals, my hair will dropped alot especially when using the hair dryer..

So much so that during after blowing dry, the bed would be full of my hair..

And I am very annoyed by this..thus I have this habit of picking up the hairs after blowing dry.

The other night, before hubs left the room to take his shower, he suddenly asked me:

"老婆，你又在做CSI 啊？"

I looked at him with a puzzle look..

And he told me cuz those CSI series I watched, they are always picking up those small small details things from their crime scene, and the way I am picking up the strands of hair reminds him of the series..

Watched too much tv le...whahah