Dear Xiao Bao,
It had been a year since we lost you on that fateful day, how are you getting on in the other world? I hope you are leading a good life there for that is the only reason why I agreed to sign the papers to let you go.
Nearly 365 days had passed since you left, but the pain didnt ease up any as compared to then. Truth to be told, there are still times that it hurt so badly that I would cry silently during bath time. As we enter July, it makes it even harder for me this month cuz everyting will remind how I lost you this time last yr.
As much as I tried my best to lead a normal life after losing you, deep down I knew everything is not going to be the same without you. No 1 will ever understand the pain I have in my heart of losing you, the regrets of not ever having the chance to hold you in my hands, shower you with my love, teaching you the principles I had in mind all these will forever be my biggest regret. But life have to still go on isnt it?
Yesterday, we went to the temple to arrange for chanting sutras for you during the 7th month, hoping you will be able to lead a better life no matter where you are now. That is the only little thing I can do for you and I will do it for you as long as I can still do.
XB, I want you to know that there isnt a single day had passed without me not missing you though you are inside me for a short 14wks only. I hope you also know that my love for you isnt any less for any mother's love for their child.
Be good and live well wherever you are XB, for this is the biggest wish that I have for you..
Loving you always,
Mummy.
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