September is over,Here comes October

In a blink of eyes, September flew past faster than I know. Its been 2 months since I lost XB, 1 month since I went back to work.I must admit. Things seems to be on track now.

I've been confirmed by my company even though I missed nearly 2/3 of my 3mths probation. Body is more or less recovered, since I have been going to Chinese Sinseh every sat and have been dilligently taking the prescribed medicine twice a day.

Sometimes, even I am impressed with myself. For the sake of getting my body into shape for the next blessing, I drowned down wat I presumed I would rather be sick den to drink medicine. All these, I hope will bear fruits eventually :)

Mentally, I knew I am getting better. Going to work does help. Toking & joking with my colleagues, getting busied over work makes me feel that I am back to the good old days. Though sometimes, just b4 falling aslp, I cannot help but to think of XB.

Another milestone is, I finally got ard meeting fwens. Huge step for me, as I am not sure initially how to handle the attention on my loss and how not to breakdown while relating the loss or even worse, try to act as if nothing had happened.

For the 1st time in months, I met up with partner, not a grp meeting but a 1on 1 meet up. I guess I had to start to re-assure my fwens that I am well now and not let them worried bout me even more. Though while relating to her on my loss, tears nearly flowed, but I think I can handle my emotions better now.

We caught up quite bit besides the loss, makes me miss the other 2 sisters. But then I am not ready to go out often. Preferred to come home after work as I am tired and would do some reading to realx my mind.

Hubs is aso feeling more relaxed, for I am no longer in my depressed mode and we are back to old times. We tried to go shopping more often so that he will not be too bored and especially armed with his new toy, he is excited to go ard shopping new "clothes" for his toy. I am happie to go along with him, making up the lost time.

As we embraced October, I do hope that I will become better. As someone once told me, I would neber be the same after the loss, as I will always feel the lost within me, but I can thrive to live better for the sake of my loss 1 and go on to await for god's next blessing. This, would be the only thing I can do in memory of XB.