Serious mood swings

Been having alot on my mind recently and it leads to having serious mood swings...Did smthing which i tink cause hurt to someone ( or its juz my thinking?)but i haf no choice but to do it for the sake of every one..

Been feeling beri bad over it but there is nothing i can do but to carry out with it since i oredi started...what i can do now is to convince myself that what i did is rite n hope the person will someday understand my doings..

sincerely hope tat i have not caused too much distress to the ones ard me for i am trying my best to control my emotions..

"Its' juz emotions, taking me over....."

The passing away of my grandma-in-law

Juz last sun, i was busy preparing to go for the annual bday celebration of hub's ah ma, doin my nails, choosing an outfit, getting ready her angbao, making up, looking at the time anxiously to see why hubs is still nt hm yet...

When we reached the restaurant, Hubs' uncle told us tat ah ma has fainted and have been sent to the hospital..still, i was nt so panickly as uncle was still having his dinner..it was when dad in law called and told us tat she's in a critical condition den i start to panic..we immediatelt rushed to the hospital..but as hubs n i were nt sure where the A&E dept is, we parked the car miles away...as we make our to the A&E dept, Ying msg n told us ah ma was gone..

the msg hit both of us badly, we ran all the way thru the A&E room, despite being out of bounds to outsiders, and when we saw the whole family lookin at us thru bloodshot eyes, we knew everything was too late..the sinking feeling in my heart still lingers even now..

memories keep floodin bak to me, the days where i was still a gf, till i married into their family, the gatherings we haf, the times when she will go over 4 a visit during hubs' bday, the time when she was so happie during our wedding, the time when i visit her during CNY 1st time as her grand daughter in law, the time when she sat beside me during hubs' bro wedding, everything came bak..it was too sudden, juz in the afternoon, we were all preparing to celebrate her bday, yet she was admitted to the hospital instead...it's all too sudden..

all of my grand parents haf passed away when i was younger, and being their grand daughter in law, i regard them as my grandparents aso..the news came bad to me, it hit me hard as i am not good at accepting death news..

it pains me to see ah gong crying his eyes out when he learnt tt she had passed away, the wailing, the beggin for her to come bak, the regret he have, it makes the news even harder to accept...it makes me realise, that after nearly 60 yrs of being together, suddenly, they are separated by death..i haf no idea how to console him to be frank, i can feel his pain, but there is nothing i can do to console him, it makes me difficult to face him when he is crying for it makes me wanna cry with him..to see a 80yr old man, who is always regards as a strict person to cry like tt,it dawns on me how deep their love is..i wonder, when our time is up, will hubs n i be as loving as his grand parents?i certainly hope so...

Hubs been veri affected by his ah ma's death aso although he is keeping to himself..the night when we came hm frm the hospital, we were too distraught to console each other, we juz hug each other while sitting on the sofa with the tears free flowing, thinking of the events leading up to ah ma's death...

while accompanying ah ma on the last days of her journey, we held prayers for her, hoping that she will be well in heaven, in good hands and will be free from all suffering..it is the 1st time of my life tt i realli put in my heart to chant the prayers, all the while hopin she will be freed from the suffering with the prayers..it suddenly strike me that unknowingly, i have developed strong feelings for her, even more that what i tot i haf..

Ying told me tt after a session of prayers, there was an auntie who came to her n told her tt she is certain ah ma have gone to the heaven for during the prayers, she can smell a scent of jasmine, which she says is a sign tt ah ma have gone to heaven..she says this is the 4th time she have this strong feelings after chanting at numerous funerals..hearing tt, i felt better, i realli hope the auntie is rite..

Rest in peace,Ah ma...

Bonding session...

Hubs been beri busy on wkends recently with his table tennis coaching..it took up most of the wkend, with sessions starting as early as 9am on sat, ending at 4pm and 1pm on sun, ending at 7pm..It basically took away our wkend , leaving little time to go shopping, not to mentioned dating..

As for me, wkdays are usually packed,with me workin ot on non sch nites and occassionally go on gatherings on fri nite, we realli have VERY LITTLE time left for each other..He will be too tired on after his coaching on wkends and me will be too tired out from work on wkdays...

So we decided to take few days off work and coaching and go on a trip to Land of Fried Chickie and bubble tea aka Taipei..Its was a last min decision althought we have been discussing this for months..but it is not until recently that he can confirm his schedule as he is having his ICT in Oct and company trip in Nov..plus i wan waiting for the hungry ghost month to be over, thus aug n early sept is out..tt leaves us with mid sept and we both need to check with respective company on the dates as we are not able to leave on month end due to nature of our work...

That day, both of us had went to apply leave with me checking out the available dates for the flights n hotels..it was quite a chore to be frank, as time is nt on our side..the hotels tt i am eyeing are mostly fully book..dunno wat the heck, it is nt sch holidays or anything lo..

Anyway, i end up booking the superior room for the hotel i wan as the normal rooms are fully book till dec..whaha n it's still cheaper than most of the other hotels I am looking at..whaha nairmind, for once, i get to stay in a bigger room instead of a pigeon hole..whahah..

Anyway,fwens been asking issit wanna make a baby in Taipei..whahah answer is NO!!! whahah man, i am getting tired of this, every little movement i have, every trip i have, plp can relates to baby making..whahahah cant the 2 of us enjoy a little getaway?its a bonding trip of the 2 of us kk? to get away frm work,coachin and committments for a few days, where we have all the time in the world to ourselves..If i wanna make babies, no need take plane go overseas, waste my $$ whahah...

Seriously, the both of us are lookin forward to this little getaway, to haf the time to ourselves.. and i have always enjoy the feeling of hubs lookin out for me at overseas..u can feel his concern, holdin my hand tighter, making sure i dun get lost, goin to places tat i wanna go..hheehe shopping with me and most of all, no distractions from the lappie, games, coaching, tv...whahahha..

So, Taipei, see u on 16th sept..may we have an enjoyable trip and come back more loving..

My hubs' way of telling me i worked too long hrs...

Recently, due to the Bupa invoices which requires super long time to verify and do data entry,i had to work extra hours to finish the invoices thus allowing it to be ready for payment..the fact tt i spent my whole wk concentrating on the Bupa invoices that i neglected other invoices and this results me working more hrs to clear the back log...

Hubs been quite understanding at 1st, since we are in the same line, he noes tat this is unavoidable..but then his patience got thinner by the 5th day...whahah but realli, is not i wan de..but then its my responsibility to clear them no matter whether who left the backlog on..

so 1 nite, when i reach hm, he was asking me "you have been super busy n tired recently, no time to do ur homework hor??" He meant to say about our taipei getaway, where i shd be doing the research and planning the trip, instead, recently, all is on my mind are all the work and invoices...

den he told me he that he thinks when we go taipei this time, the onli 2 places we will go in shilin night market and the beitou hot spring and we will shuttle btw this 2 places for the 4 days we are there...whhahaa...hmmm i forgot the exact words le..but the tone he use is damn funnie lo..whahha

okie la, i promise u hubs, tt i will find time to do my hw n make this trip a pleasant 1 kk..meanwhile let me finish wat i gotta finish in order for me to haf a peaceful mind to go on this trip....whahha

Hot Piping Noodles..

Came bak hm today feeling veri hungry..becuz my dinner consist of a fruit cup n 6pcs nuggets..whahah..my colleagues all think i eat too much but seriously if i dun eat, if i dun eat, i will feel veri lethargic lo...so i was thinkin of eat noodles after shower..

But 1st thing 1st, I would need to take a shower 1st...Before i went to take my shower, i was asking hubs whether i will be seeing a bowl of piping hot noodles on the table after i come bak from shower...

His reply?"No, you will not"without even a 2nd tot kk?super heartless..n true to his words, when i came bak frm shower, his eyes are still glued to his lappie on his game...tok about a loving hubs!!!

In the end, i started my chant of how he dun love n care 4 me anymore..this is my usual way of doin when i dun get things my way...whahahha..actually this is a useful way kk...He immediately offer to cook the noodles after i started my chant..whahah..but too late, i oredi go cook my own noodles le...

Haiz...Married liao realli feel different...wahahhaha

To tie down a guy's stomach..

Every 1 around me noes i cannot cook..okie, mayb onli maggie mee..whahha even my colleague, who had not known me 4 long told me tt i dun look like those who can do hse work, let alone cook..damn,he is damn rite..but hey, i am learnin as time goes along kk...4 i am nt livin with mummy now, i gotta depend on myself on alot of things...

Realli, I am not praisin myself..You shd see the change in me...i used to nt lift a fingers to do hse work, heheh cuz mummy thinks i am tired enuff dealin with work n sch, n she finds tt my standard of hsework is way below her expectations...but when i got my own hse, i haf no choice..even my hse cleanin skills are sub standards, i gotta do it on my own n fine tune it till i get it rite..plus hubs dun realli complains...whahah unless he wans to do it himself..hehehe

Recently, i found a secret weapon to start cooking...the slow cooker..whahah i was chattin wif my colleague over lunch 1 day and she told me she makes tonic 4 herself regularly..basically, her way is to throw everything into the slow cooker, add water, stew 4 2 hrs and volia! the tonic is ready to drink..whahah it sets me thinkin, i love drinkin tonic or soup for tt matter, mayb i shd get myself a slow coooker and start frm there?

我的秘密武器。。。

I called mummy and asked her wat size of slow cooker or brand shd i buy to make enuff soup for hubs n me..i dun wanna to cook too much and end up we cannot finish it..she reminded me that i still have a slow cooker that i put in her hse...it was some free gift n tt time as i dunno wat to do with it, i brought it bak to her..whahah it was time to take bak...

I tried makin soup for the past 2 sats..hmmm it started with i found a paste like thingy from NTUC from Eu Ren Shen and Maggie..which says all i need to do, is to add that to water and throw in some meat to stew...heheh i follow suit lo.. and mummy told me to use pork instead of chickie cuz she says is better..on top of it, i brought a pack of guo qi zi..which is suppose to be good for our eyes..then i rem my mum in law teachin me tt can add a bottle of chicken esscence when makin soup..and yes, it was a success!hubs say nt bad..whahhhaha he beri give face kk, drank the soup even though he dun like soup..hehehe

we went Carrefour last wk and i saw those off the rack herbs pac and i brought 3 packs of it..hehe hoping to make different soups for hubs..hehe..yest i try out the new receipe le...heheh..its 杜仲补腰汤..cuz hubs been playing tt for quite some time n with all the exercising, i tink this soup is more suitable for him...

Brought off the rack from Carrefour

I went NTUC in the mornin to get the meat required..Y dun buy from market, is becuz i dunno how to ask the uncle..whahah so in the end, i got it off rack, plus it is cheaper..hehe n i need the meet for making the soup onli, need not get those fresh frm market, which will cost twice as much...then i aso got a soup makin receipe book..whahah the NTUC cashier was askin me whether the soup inside nice or nt..n i told her, i juz brought the book leh, haven try out..heheh i will find time to go see wat soup hubs wanna drink and try to make..but i will start with the simple 1 1st..

1 thing the book taught me is, to boil some water 1st and scale the meat before throwing them into the soup as it will remove the strench and blood in the meat, aso makin it less oily..this mummy had not taught me leh, in fact, i was the 1 who called home n told her after readin it in the book..whahah...

Pork I brought from NTUC

As the recommended amt of water is 1litre, and my cooker is a smaller 1..i separate half the herbs and keep it for next cooking..hence, it will nt make the soup too concentrated and bitter to drink..this time rnd, however i did nt add chicken essence as this soup is nt for 提神purpose...

Soaking the 枸杞子


Cut the meat into dice, washed it, waiting for water to boil now...

i let it boiled for 2hrs, before switchin it to heatin mode while waiting for hubs to reach home to drink..in the midst of boiling, i aso went to clear my weekly hse work tasks of ironin clothes, clearing the laundry baskets and cleaning my room..

Throwing everything into the slow cooker..

Hubs told me tat he looked forward to me lookin a proper meal for him in time to come ..which i promise that i will try..whaha but 1st thing 1st..let me master my soups 1st kk?whahah its an easier task..heheh..well, it is nt easy being someone's wife isnt it..hhehehehe

回到最初，最自然，最灿烂的笑容，没有钻石的爱情我也会被感动

In this modern world of SG, where every 1 is chasin after paper qualifications, climbing the corporate ladders, many of us juz simply 4get to take a step back wards and stop to appreciate our surroundings, appreciate our family memebers and loves ones..

Since we got married, we were busy with sch, with work, with respective families with every thing else and 4got to leave them for ourselves.Many will say, u r married wat, u lived together, so basically u r spending them together.WRONG!

The fact that we are married, living on our own makes us even more distanced. We worked on wkdays, attending sch on some nites, thus some times we onli see each other for 2hrs before we hit the sack, dun even haf the time to have a good chat..on some good days, we manage to squeeze in some time to haf a little chat to update each other of wat is happening to us at work or sch...

We try however, to leave fri out of any activities so that we can go 4 a movie or a good dinner juz to spend some quality time together..

Sat is always hse work day for me while he is coaching TT..Sun, will be spend slping late,den goin bak to parents in law hse n rush to his TT coachin again which ends at 7pm...after coachin, we will go 4 his dinner den it will be 9pm b4 we reach hm n after showering all tt...its time to slp...so judgin from our tight schedules 4 the wk, we don't realli have much time to interacrt although we r stayin together..


Sometimes, if we were nt too tired, we will lie on the bed,side by side to haf a quick conversation on our day, or during our travel journey bak home, we will update each other on the day's happening...its nt like during our dating yrs, where wkends are spend solely on our catchin up on the wk events...


So, we planned to take a day off our work n other committments and make a trip to Universal Studios Singapore to unwind ourselves..although it is not goin on a overseas trip, but still its a day tt we 4get about everything and enjoy all the rides in the park..


It feels juz like the times when we are overseas, going on every ride in the theme park, luffing and enjoyin each other's company without thinking of anything from work or home..i can sense hubs' happiness and the smiles we had in the photos reminds me of the many happie times we have during our overseas trips..


Its good to take a day off once in a while to spend some quality time together and go on a field trip where we are alone in our own world, here it is where we bond and find back the loving times we had all these yrs..cheers to more of such times...

Ice cream buffet

Recently, there's a dieting/healthy eating campaign goin on in my office...every 1 is either tellin me they are goin on diet or takin health supplements...wahhhh scary sia..seems like i am 1 of those odd 1 out lo..whahaha..hai wo dun dare to tok much about food to them..hehe i tink aso no 1 interested..faintzzzz...

Was watchin buffetlicous last nite n they will introducing Swensen's ice cream lo..man, i am so tempted lo..i wan to eat yummy raisins, thin mint, sticky chewy chocolate n many many more...whahaha but then i tink it is in the afternoon leh...hubs is coachin on every wkend afternoon lo..haiz..gonna take leave 1 day n go njoy the ice cream buffet...now onli left hubs will will go buffet with me le..whahahh most of my fwens dun eat tt much de lo.sianz..dunno is i can eat too much or plp nowadays cannot eat much..whahah i am so gulity..heheh

anyway, i dunno y i feel so tired recently..some days i juz feel like slpin in when the clock goes off..but every time i manage to drag my sorry ass out of my warm bed n get ready 4 work..its a real struggle every mornin lo..whahhah...still every mornin when i look into the mirror every mornin, i will tell myself today will be a better day n hope to get thru the day smoothly...

Even if the day is shitty, i will try to tell myself tmr will be better but then whenever i feel bad, i will start to think of wat to eat..heheh eating will lift up my spirits..dunno y..whahaha n it will make me feel gd lo..although if i put on weight, i will feel sad afterwards..whhahah tt will be another thing to worry after eating..nairmind..hehhe

hmm...by tinkin of it makes me feel better le..recently there are some unhappiness goin on n i dunno how to put it into words, can onli swallow it down...felt betrayed, felt unjusticed but this is life.this is human, i can onli accept it..i noe i will learn to let go after awhile like usual..but the still, there's a little stinging of heart pain..this 0nli reminds me of why i refuse to open my heart to plp, this is wat happen when i accept and put in the feelings..i hate this feeling of betrayal n i promise i will nt goin to let it happen..i will put on my protective shield frm now..*porcupine mode on* this i will remind myself..

okie..enuff of ranting..ice cream buffet any1?whahaha

To AH MA..

Dear Ah ma,

How are you getting on in the other world?Its gonna be your 11th death anni soon.. Are you happie there?Did you fulfill your wish to take good care of Da Jiu and lived happily with him and Ah Gong?

Times files and its gonna be 11yrs oredi, but it feels like u juz left us nt long..You have left us so abruptly, sometimes it hurts to think about it. At times, I will wonder how will you be feeling if u are still ard.. Will you be beri excited on my weddin day like Popo? Will you be beri proud of Ah Qi, who is now studying her degree in China and might get a scholarship to studee her masters there? Will you be so happie to see your "dragon grandson" tat xiao yi gave birth to? Will you join Mummy and Auntie 5 on their Europe trip this year if you are still ard for you used to loved travellin..

Here's a update of our family...

Have you noticed mummy and da yi are more alike as they aged? Mummy is still working, still strugglin to hold the family together. Realli, you shd be proud of her. Her determination to bring us up, her strict teaching that she learned from you moulded us into what we are today. Her strong character that allows her to stay sane despite her suffering. I noe you will be proud of her for I am also proud of being her daughter. I know you will give her your blessings and approval no matter where you are and support her decisions no matter wat others tink.

Mummy outside MBK, BKK

She gets more naggy as she ages, but which mum doesnt?I noe she miss you, deep down she noes u r rite when u object to her n dad, but then when u gave her the your support during her difficult times instead of turnin your back to her n told her "i told u so" gives her the strength to carry on with life..she always tell me stories of how u follow her ard during her dating days n how she finally understand it during my dating yrs..whahaha..so when i was choosin a bf, i make sure i choose 1 tt can pass her screenin de..character wise i dunno, but at least i noe jie's outlook passed le..the rest is up to fate isnt it? but given u n mummy's strong character, you will noe i am on par with you all..hehhhe

If you are watchin over us up there, please bless mummy wif a smooth life ahead..give her the strength to feel happie, let her noe the 3 of us is standin by her no matter what others think..for we are 1 family, afterall, is the 4 of us who went thru the difficult period together..who will noe each other's pain although it is not put into words..who will noe how difficult it is that we have wat we have today, to become wat we are today...

I am proud to tell u ah ma, although the 3 Singapore grandchildren of urs are no high flyers, but at least we grew up to be decent plp even though in the eyes of many plp, we are kids with no dad to discipline but realli, mummy did a superb job in replacing papa's position in the family...if fact, till now, every 1 reports their doin to her...even ah ge, who is 30yrs old this yr, is still under her control..she has this "as long as u r my child, i can control u"thinking...is juz like u isnt it..remember the time u cane xiao jiu infront of us?you told him the same thing...whahah

She gets more hip as she aged. And she took after you for the love for travelling. We been together to Beijing where she tried to scale the Great wall and failed miserably when she fainted at the 1st gate, gave me a fright lo, lucky i was with her..She went to HK with bro and also bangkok and phuket with aunt 5.. After tt she bug me to go bangkok again cuz she was angry she didnt get to visit the shoppin haunts and Ah liang n me told her bout. You shd see the way she shop, as if that the things there are free!!! the most recent trip is to Europe which she is so excited bout. She updated me everyday via sms and went crazy in Paris over LV bags.. today, as she walked on the streets, she is checkin out other plp's LV bag and commenting where they are real or nt..

Your eldest grandson, has balloon over the years, i still rem u chidding mummy on how on earth she feed us, all cannot grow fat..whahah over the yrs the 3 of us grew so big sized tt mummy iS worrying bout our health..He is still as stubborn as ever and we dunno whether he has a gf or nt..Mummy is nt worring though, or so she claims..but if you were ard, you will surely get anxious of him nt getting hitched when he is turning 30 this yr...

But out of the 3 of us, he is the most controlled by mummy 1..n although mummy always scolded him, but then she still cannot help but to look out 4 him cuz she say he everything aso bo chap..whahaa..wonder when i will get a sis in law? he doesnt say much to us aso...he, i tink dunno how to show his concern 4 mummy for he is some1 who dunno how to express well..end up, the 2 of them always got misunderstandin cuz he is plain lazy to explain properly to mummy..smtimes i gotta be the in between so as to make the matter rest..

As for me, i got married 2 yrs ago. When i got married, how i wished u were there to witness the biggest moment of my life..Juz like Jie's grandparents who look so happie to see their grandson getting a wife.Rem you used to asked me to accept the guy from the provison store behind our hse?You used to teased me whenever i am back hm..and no, i haven given you a great grandson, cuz i am nt ready yet..perhaps i will try and give you a dragon great grandson 4..it will be such a great gift isnt it??

Hope my marriage will be a good 1..for i haf no confident aso but i am willing to take the gamble..Jie is a good guy, but humans does change afterall dont they?I can onli cross my fingers that we will be able to withstand the test of times and emerged more loving..you will give me ur blessings rite?after witnessing wat mummy has gone thru, i myself would have certain level of cautions and also certain ways of managing my marriage..not all of them agreed with my style. But juz like mummy who have your support back then, i have her support now..so it gives me the strength to move on, knowing that no matter what i do, i always have her with me...

Your fav grandson,whom mummy loving called "AH Liang Liang" is an aviation engineer in making..he is currently taking his degree now, and mummy secretly hoped he will joined SIA after graduating so she will get free tixs 4 her overseas trip...He is as mischievous as ever and he has got a JAL stewardess as a gf..You will surely love him to bits cuz after all these yrs, his honey talk skills had only got better..whahah

His temper got worse over the years, smtimes hurting mummy without knowing..but there is always me who will call n chide him..dun think i married off n i washed my hands of our household.i still have all the updates frm mummy n when she is upset by him, she will call n complaint to me knowing tat if i find it unacceptable, i will give him a piece of my mind...

Over the years, when papa is not ard, it has always been me who is the black faced to him as mummy dunno y cannot bring her self to be as strict to him as she is to ah ge n me..i noe liang liang smtimes will irritated with me interferring with his life, but then i hope he noes that watever we do, it is for his best interest for he is the little precious of our family no matter how old he is..but he is the onli 1 who can make mummy's heart melt at the shortest time lo..whahah he sure haf a way with women..juz like papa...

I hope this update is enuff for you Ah ma..hope u r well in the other world..and hope u noe that u r dearly missed by us..Although I am not allowed to go to visit your tomb during ching ming, i hope you noe that we didnt 4get you, juz tt the customs dun allowed us to do so..Ah ma, stay happie with da Jiu and ah Gong..n hope you realli fulfilled your wish of taking good care of da jiu for i hope u r happie too where ever you are..

Many love from your eldest grand daughter,

Ah le

Reflections

Was clearing my room today and threw out a bag that i tink i dun wan cuz the handle's wrapping keep falling out..n i had enuff of repairing it..so i put it in the living room along with other things i wanna throw..

My tenant's maid saw and ask me when i went of out my room later on whether she can haf the bag or nt...i was shocked..its nt i dun wan give her..but the state of the bag is nt realli in gd shape and she dun mind and wans to haf it..i was quite ashame of myself as i keep buying new bags now and then and yet she dun mind the bag i threw out n was still telling me it was nice..i feel so bad..

I gave her another bag of mine aso, which was still in good shape and i had keep it in gd condition, but juz tt i dun use it tt often..i noe sooner or later, i will throw it out or donate it to salavation army..if it can be put to good use or can be appreciated, i dun mind giving it to her..juz tt i dun feel gd as afterall, it is 2nd hand...i myself dun realli mind using 2nd hand stuff, but i dun realli dare to give plp 2nd hand stuff...

after this little episode, i tink i will appreciate my things more and will be more careful in my spending..thank you del, for giving me this precious lesson...

You noe you married a violent guy when..

Was wearing my shades the other day and was distrubing hubs by keep asking him to tell me i look nice in them...

In the end, he got so fed up by my constant teasing that he told me, since u like wearing ur shades so much, later i punch you in your eyes, den u can wear the shades all day long le, nt onli during the day...

Man, where did the sweet & loving guy b4 marriage disappear to?

Now reading...

Brought 2 books yest and finish 1 of it by today..its consider quite a thin book, and its an autobiograhpy of a 10 yr old Yemen gal who was the 1st to be granted a divorce in her country, making her the youngest divorcee of the world..

I always have a soft sport for this genre of auto biography for 1, i noe the part of the proceedings from the sales of the book will go to the author who in turn will help her to rebuilt her life, 2ndly, by reading this kind of books will make me appreciate & treasure my life more, n to know how women from other part of the world are treated..

I am lucky, to be born in this modern time, this country where women are being treated better if nt equally..though there are still some biasness but still, its is better as compared to our counter parts in other parts of the world, especially the more conservative societies...

Whenever i read about their unfortunate things of their life, my heart goes out to them..it is disgusting juz reading wat humans can do to another humans especially gals..I couldnt understand why muz gals be subjected to this kind of treatment and yet cannot do anything about it..why muz gals always be the victims?


This kind of unacceptable doings must be eliminate totally..women muz stand up for themselves, muz not be afraid to take a stand of wat they tink is rite, muz nt take the bullying as part of their life..muz not accept the unfair treatment...whahah i sound so feminist...but we r all entitled to equal treatment, arent we?The little gal who is brave enuff to stand up for herself..

Alone in the jungle...

Went to reg 4 class today in sch...was suppose to wake up at 9 am to go..but end up, slp till 10am till mummy call den i woke up..hehe rushed like hell to get to sch as i am afraid a huge crowd as today is the last day of the early bird discount period..okie la, the queue is nt as long..but still i waited 4 like 1 n half hrs can..lucky i brought mag along to entertain myself..

it was off to shopping after that..1st i went to Mango..whaha gt sales lo..but realli, i dun tink their clothes style suits me..so in the end i juz brought a cardigan...i heart their cardigans, dunno y..whahah..den its off to S&M where i brought some biscuits..its been some time since i brought their biscuits...

I went to Kino next..walk all the way there under the super hot sun...i was in tube but wore jeans..regretted nt wearin shorts instead...nearly melted under the hot sun..n from then i stayed in the comfort of the shopping centres..whahah cuz of the air con...

went to shop for books in kino..its been some time since i last touch a story book..cuz of busy work n sch...man, i was so deprive of readin..even newspaper aso no time to read..damn sad..feel like a under-informed person...the next best thing is to read the e-papers on my way to work even mornin on my iphone...tt is if i am nt too slply in train..hehehe...

i aso brought 2 beads book frm there..but cuz i am onli judgin by the cover, i haf to trust my own instinct to see whether the designs inside are nice or nt..also, juz nice tt Kino is hafin 20% storewide till today for their members..

couldnt find a decent place to sit down to read my newly brought book while waiting 4 hubs to finish his lunch appointment wif his poly mates..damn angry can..i didnt noe the library @orchard closed oredi..i walked rnd n rnd taka to search 4 it lo..damn..

in the end, i went to OC...cuz i remember Fang tellin me that for no appranent reason, that shopping centre has a lesser crowd as compared to the other counterparts along our main shoppin belt..i got lucky and found a side by 1 side..ordered a ice blended cuppa, n sat down to read my book b4 hubs came n meet me..

all in all, its was an enjoyable day..seldom i haf time all to myself to do things that i njoy, mostly importantly, its been a long time since i last shop..decently it is..although didnt buy much, but i realli njoy walkin in the shoppin centres, even it is window shoppin, it was brighten up my mood...hehehe..

Of movies, crabs & books

hubs' company is organising movie outing today n i went along to watch the show-Knight and Day..whahah i actually wanted to watch the show de n since there is free tix,i went along lo..
Feel abit out of place cuz all are his colleagues n there is no much outsider in the group..

Hubs' supervisor was super friendly can..i tink she seen me 4 3 or 4 times..whahah she went ard introducing me as hubs' wife.making me abit paiseh..heheh shy ma...i dunno much plp there lo..except his dept plp, cuz this is nt the 1st time we've meet..

I nearly fell aslp halfway thru the show, nt becuz the show is borin but becuz i am too tired..but the show is quite funnie la..hehe n gt free dinner..hotdog,popcorn n coke..whaha i hate hotdog lo..but bo bian, was too hungry n no time to go dinner le..

now i am goin to heat up the crabs tt was left over frm the other nite's dinner n eat 4 supper..whahaha

on a side note, tmr got elicpse lehz..i feel like goin lo.but hubs shd be not interested de..see how ba..whahah hubs is goin trainin in the mornin n goin 4 his poly lunch gathering, i tink i will go register 4 my class den go sit inside kino n read book den wait 4 hubs come bak orchard meet me...hmmm shd be beri njoyable ba..got half the day to myself n the books..or mayb i shd go borders??okie, i shall decide tmr mornin..goin to eat my crab lo!!!!!!

Be strong LELE, Be strong

Juz as i tot i am beginning to see light in my work, i am hit with another blow today...i realli feel very tired ateverything..i've tried my best le, but everything can go wrong, went wrong...i am so angry at myself lo..angry at the stupid mistakes i make, angry at the little time i have, angry tat no matter how hard i tried, i still cannot clear the things..

I am tempted to juz let out n cry again..like tt time when i keep couldnt slp, couldnt cope with the extra load n exam stress, i juz let out n cried like a little kid..the next day, i felt so refresh, more relax at work..

I've been missing out on alot of things recently..dates with hubs, meet ups with fwens, time with family...i even have no time to chat over the phone, as i am too tired to do anything after work...i dun wan my life to become this way..i wan to find bak the happie me, the happie person that my mum named me n wish to be...

Guess I have to be strong at this point, hopefully things will get better n i will try my best to be more alert n careful at work...meanwhile, i will go dry my tears now n get ready to slp n go on another round of battle tmr...

I miss this happie me...realli miss.........

i am so tired...

i am so tired..been startin work a 7.30am frm last wk n work till ard 6.45pm...manage to clear most of the back log due to my absence 4 exam n the 3days mc...smhow find it easier to slp recently as compared to last wk when i juz went bak to office...i would wake up in the middle of the nitez suddenly reminding myself to clear smthing..den haf trouble fallin aslp again...

it was pure torture can..i nearly went bonkers lo...it was till this wk when i gradually cleared the work den i slp better...i realli feel like takin a day off n do nothing n chill out..mayb juz chill out in a cafe while readin a book, watchin the crowd go by where i am the onli free person watchin the whole world gets busy..whahah...its a pity hubs will nt appreciate reading a book while sitting in a cafe, else it will be romantic to haf both of us sitting a cafe,sippin cuppa, reading a book, watchin plp walk pass...hmm..the cuppa n book will puts him off..whhahhaah

Smtimes i realli pei fu myself how i manage to get pass each day with the work..whahah..many times i am tempted to throw temper but come to tink of it, every 1 is aso workin as hard, wat for make it hard for others juz becuz i am stressed, so end up i am more stressed as i will be careful nt to step on plp's toe..

Hopefully after this month, things will be back to normal and with that i will need to start sch le...whahah Terence been remindin me to go register 4 class, but i keep pushin it off...hehehe..i keep tellin him to let me njoy my 2wks vacation b4 thinkin of class 1st..whahah..i guess i will have to go by this wkend le..else will be too late..later no more vancancy..whahah thanz ar uncle terence 4 ur constant reminder..i will try nt to be so nuah..try la..but then it is realli tiring lo..u will nt understand de...whahahaha

i'm so in love with you

Actually I am not sure how many plp read this blog..whahah if you r my blog reader..whaha if u r reading my blog, let me know kk??hehehe cuz mummy dun allow me to post certain things lehz..whahaha she mistake me for Mr Brown le,think alot of plp read my blog n refuse to let me blog down my tots..whahaha

Mummy came bak on fri from Europe..aside from feeling a bit jetlag, she is quite well..After 12 days of Europe trip, u cannot help but notice the joy on her face..whahah..Went over on friday nite to collect my things from her..the news of her buying 5 LV bags travelled well n far..N i was yearning to see my bag that she buy lo..whahaha

She brought 3 bags for me in total..Neverfull MM, Saleya PM and Eva Clutch..whahha but then onli the 1st 2 is I asked her to buy for me de..the last 1 is she dunno, over excited le, n brought me 1 more on impulse..knowing her for 26 yrs, this is the 1st time i seen my mum buying tings on impulse n smmore is LV bag smmore..

She brought herself a Totally Azur PM n a small clutch bag aso..i was so shock can..I always tot she wanna share the bags with me..tt's y i choose Saleya, so tt she can use whenever she wants to..but without warning she went n buy herself 2 bags there..whahah nt tt i am complainin..since i get to keep my bag 4 my own use....whaha

She was throwing out her old bags when i went bak on sat afternoon n was telling my bro tt, now she onli have eyes 4 her LV bag..whahah so she threw out the older bags...whahaha

As for me, i parade my new bag infront of hubs the whole nite till he complain..whahah n started to use the Saleya on sat...whahah..i gonna eat grass for the next 6mths le...cuz i paid all for the 3 bags even thought mummy offered to pay the 1 she choose..whahah

So, here i am showing the 3 new love of my love...while singin "i am so in love with you to the 3 of them...whahah...hmmm..i still considering whether to post my mummy europe trip stories here or nt..whahah i consider a few more days ba...else, wait 4 me to cannot tahan, den i will post the stories in full here...hehehehe...Meanwhile, if u realli wanna hear the stories,juz tell me..whaha will tell u the stories verbally...

PRESENTING MY 3 NEW BAGS.........

Eva Clutch, the bag mummy choose n buy 4 me

Neverful MM

Saleya PM

Life is beautiful, because I am with you...

Its been 9 yrs since we got together..in a blink of eyes, 9 yrs have passed..lookin bak, it seems like yest tat we juz know each other..how we were fwen for 2 yrs b4 comin a couple..how we saw each other thru our ups n down..



Our life has taken a change since gettin married, relationship have taken to another level..we are not alone any more..not single, but married, as an 1 entity...gone were the dating days where we can afford to throw our temper ard when we are unhappie with each other..now, we will have to learn to live with each other flaws, learn to accept each other faults and be more tolerant towards each other..



As we celebrate hubs' bday on 24th, we also celebrate our 9 yr anni on the 28th..As usual, we went out for a meal..this yr, i treat hubs to the buffet in Swissotel, Merchant Court as we both are quite impressed with the food there when we went with fang & edwin the other time...



After the dinner, we went 4 a walk in Central mall, brought 2 pairs of couple slipper frm Hush puppies and went 4 a stroll outside along the mall...As we walk down along Singapore River, we talked about our early dating yrs, the things we used to do, places we used to go with our limited pocket money,dreams we haf..we watched each other grow and grow with each other...


While we walked along the streets, i suddenly haf this thinking in mind..."Life is beautiful, because hubs is by my side, he's there to support me thru the ups n downs, share my joy n sorrow...thinkin back of the decision i made 9 yrs ago, i noe i made the rite choice...

Final day of exam..

Finally, after months of studying, preparation, today is the last day of my exam and i have this bad feeling tat i am nt exactly ready..but nebertheless i will go n give my best shot..no need to score but at least pass the paper to avoid a retake next sem...

its been a tough mth 4 me startin in May with KL leaving us n joinin HR...juggling with the extra load of work, plus the leave i took 4 exam, the exam stress, my dad's pro has taken a toll on me..

I make mistakes at work, struggle to finish the work load, struggle to stay awake to studee at nitez, struggle to stay awake working in the day, try nt to neglect hubs, try to solve the pro at mum's side, trying to help her prepare her europe trip, listening to her complaints, and tryin to stay sane...all these hopefully will come to an end once i finish this paper today...

will be bak at work to clear the tons of work tat is piling up due to my exam leave, hopefully this mth will be a better mth den last mth during closin as i do not need to face exam stress..

Man, how i look fwd to a well deserved break but nt anytime soon in this mth as i would need to seriously look into tidyin up the work...this is the least i can do 4 them after my exams...

As i am doin my last min preparation, i sincerely pray tat i would be able to ans the questions later n pass this paper..tat, would be a reward 4 me for all the things i went thru during this period...cross ur fingers 4 me plsz....

我是很好的。。。

Knowing that its my exam period, hubs' been extra sweet to me recently..
endurin my frequent mood swings, stayin at hm wif me while i studee..okie, he has his PS3 to keep him busy, asking me whether i wan to do some retail therapy to take away the stress...

This mornin after breakfast, he suddenly tells me “老婆，我很好的，我知道你要准备考试，我自己烫我的衣服。。”after which, he proceeds to take out the ironin board and iron to prepare..

I was looking at him with puzzled eyes, for yesterday nitez i oredi told him tat i have finished doing the chores while his is at trainin as i got tired frm studyin n decide to flexed my muscles by doin hsework..whahah

So I let him take out all the equipments n wait 4 him to discover that his clothes are hanging neatly there oredi..whahahah, so much for being nice to me...his offer came abit too late.. or rather i am faster in finishing the chores...whaha

now, he is sitting in front of his newly brought HD ready TV, njoying his PS3 game, while i studee my head off for my last paper tmr...