The Perfect Husband/wife

The other day Mr Love was telling me that when his colleague learnt that he didn't celebrate our 5th wedding anniversary and instead worked OT, she commented that " You all Singaporean Men are all the same, lucky your wife is a Malaysian". Haha That pisses Mr Love off a bit.

He didn't bother to explain to her(a Malaysian) that 1). His wife me, is a true blue Singaporean. My mum WAS a Malaysian who took up our citizenship. 2). His Singaporean wife is equally bad since she forgot about the date and happily agreed to meeting her sisters when they suggested this date. 3). We totally never had any plans to celebrate, we were more into our ROM anniversary where it marks the day we legally became husband and wife.

It brought us to the topic of finding the perfect man or woman to spend your lifetime with. Often many would associate Singaporean man to unromantic, stingy, not sensitive to women's feeling while Singaporean women are often labelled as materialistic.

But I do see a lot of cases around me that couple who are both Singaporean got married and lived happily. In fact, most of the divorced cases around me arises from 1 partner coming from another country.

For example in my case, I do have a outline of what my dream man is. But in reality, the guy I chose to spend my life with is no where near my perfect man.

1). I always hoped to find someone to love reading as much as me. We do not need to like the same genre. Thus the bookshop is 1 of my favourite haunts. Contrary to me, Mr Love hates reading. He would look like I brought him to a grave yard whenever I wanna go shop at a bookshop. This explains why I have never been to the famous 24 hrs Eslite Bookshop in Taipei though we have been to Taipei thrice.

2). I adore Chinese, Japanese and Korea cuisine but Mr Love is more into western food or anything fried for that matter. Thus when we go for meals, we struggled to find a balancing point sometime. Many a time, it ended up 1 party giving in to the other party's craving.

3). I love watching TV Serials, listening to music. My man only watches Discovery channel which puts me to sleep. Thank god for Hp apps, he can hogged the tv while I watch running man on my phone. He didn't figure out why I love watching Korean Tv serials while I cannot understand the language. I didn't bother to explain it too.

4). I always thought Mr Love was a god sent angel for shopping. He would (before marriage) shop with me, give constructive ideas on the items I wanna buy. After marriage however, everything changed. He now would park himself somewhere in the shop all the while looking at his HP and not bother with what I chose. I think he would be upgrading to standing outside the shop soon (which pisses me off big time). So now either I don't do my clothes shopping with him or I would shop if something really catches my attention. Thanks to him, I am a super fast shopper now but I am not an indecisive shopper to start with either.

5). You know girls who always say flowers are a waste of monies but secretly love receiving them? I belong to that category. Haha. I mean who will not love receiving flowers? But after receiving, you cannot help but feel the heartache of the cost of the flowers? Haha. Believe it or not. My dear husband gave me flowers on 4 occasion throughout our going 13 years of relationship. 1st time- 1st V-day we spent together. 2nd time- Our ROM bouquet. 3rd time- 1st V-day after our wedding. 4th time - The calla Lilies that I forced him to pay when we went up YMS in Taiwan. He keep repeating that I told him before flowers are a waste of monies. Nice, and I wonder how come he did not remember that I told him I love Miu Miu bags?

6). I always hope to watch the stars under the skies on board a cruise with my love one since I find it super nice and romantic when I watched it alone while we were on a family trip when I was young. Mr Love shot that idea down flatly by telling me that cruises are boring. N.I.C.E I guess he totally don't get the romantic part that I was telling him.

7). Who would not wish your partner would know you inside out? Know why you are angry/sad at the moment and say some comforting words to you? He always need me to tell him what is bothering him and if I say "nothing", he would really take my word for it though he knew something is definitely was wrong somewhere. I had given up the hope of him guessing my mood now and would tell him point blank where the problems lies. It does help that I am a bit of the frank side but of course I do hope he would make some effort sometimes. Oh well.

Despite him not fitting into any of my "dream criteria" (and me not fitting into many of his), I still feel that marrying him is one of the best decisions I ever made.

From the many years we had together, I realized there is no perfect man. It is how you tuned your expectations to either suit your partner or your partner make some changes to suit you. There is never right or wrong in love. There is only accepting each others flaw, seeing the better side of your partner, making the best out of the situation and adjusting yourself to suit it.

Of course it is easier said than done. Many a times, I do feel the strains and frustrations and would break but one trick that always make me calm down is I will always remind myself the reason why I chose him in the 1st place and all would be well at the end of the day.