Caution: Super long rant that took me 1 week to write since I was pissed off at a particular conversation with someone.
A guy friend once told me that he gave up looking for Singaporean woman as partner for life as he finds most of the women here too materialistic. Similarly when I watched Hong Kong Serials, they would sometimes have a "港女" (Hong Kong Girls)character protrayed inside. This is similar to the type of girls my friend had classified most Singaporean girls he met except we don't have a name for the local version, ok maybe SPG but then its a different species of female who only go sees the good in Caucasian males.
Was chatting with a colleague a while back while walking to the train station after work and we were commenting how worrying it is for the situation at work place now. She was telling me that if she loses her job, her 3 children will loses most of their "luxury" items like having cherries, blueberries for fruits and instead have to eat apple(only fruit her hubby will buy) only.
Most of the female friends I have told me about they contributing to the household expenses and sometimes buying items for their kids that their hubbies deem to be too extravagant. Intsead all of them scrimp on themselves and spent on their children.
This is a very normal trend in Singapore where most mothers hold a job and bring in the bacon along with the father. Yet, they have to deal with duties of being a wife, mother, daughter, daughter in law etc etc. Even my own mum works although her 3kids give her monthly allowances.
It's is not fair to judge Singaporean girls from the way we spend. I do admit, I spend quite extravagantly. In my collection, there are LV, Miu Miu, Coach,Kate Spade and Longchamp. Yes, I indulge in luxury bags though not the very high end 1 but hey all these are brought with my own monies. My dearest hubby didn't even contribute 1 cent to my building collection.
Though I have a soft spot for designers bags, I do not have it for clothes and shoes. Am perfectly fine with buying from online blogshop if the size fits me. Since I love dressing up, I rather buy cheaper 1s and buy more than to spend a bomb on the expensive 1s.
As for shoes, I buy whatever it is comfortable for me. Which is not easy as my feet size is pretty large as compared to normal female sizes and also sensitive skin which will hurt if the shoe material is not comfortable. Thus it explains my recent obession with Melissa's flats. It's a bit on the costly side but I worked my way around it by getting the dicounted last seasons' design and of course with the help of my dear bestie who helped to bring back for me from UK.
My point is, it's unfair for guys to assume and make statements like Singaporean girls are difficult to please and maintain economically. In fact, I see alot of girls who don't need their bf/hubby to maintain their lifestyles. What we need is only the emotional maintanence which many guys failed terribly.
That being said, there are also black sheeps in the pack. There are stories of my female counterparts who demands a lot economically from their partners and will drop them like hot potatoes once their demands are not met.
But these species belongs to a minority I would say.
My friend in question in my opinion have quite a high expectations of his ideal partner. Must be slim, attractive, dress well, substain herself economically, excel in domestic chores etc. He did not specifically state these but I deduced it from our conversations when he spent a long amount of time putting down his own country girls like how we don't dress well enough to go out, how we do not know how to cook and do house work chores or simply too lazy to do anything etc.
1st thing 1st to be slim, attractive, well dress all these requires monies. Especially looks. Know how much the bloody skin care costs? Not to mention make up. You think girls can glow naturally? Think again. We usually need either skin care or make up to achieve our looks and many a times both. To dress well needs monies too. I am not even talking about buying branded clothes. A simple dress nowadays in the shop sets you back by 60bucks. And if the dress gets recycled too often I am sure my friend would say the girl keeps wearing the same dress. While guys always complains we have too much clothes, shoes, bags, accessories, I got friends who expect their girls to dress well and look different each time they go on dates. So girls do need all those to keep changing their looks right?
So there my theory is always is, if you want to look good (on the outside) you need maintenance. To maintain, you need monies (duh). So unless you have no expectations of your girl to look like she step out of the fashion magazine everytime you go on a date, then it's safe to say you can save monies on this area.
Besides, if you want the girl to look good for you, shouldn't you be nice enough to pay? Who are you to request us to spend our own monies to look good for you? My hubby got no comments on my dress sense and thus he didn't need contribute anything to my dressing needs. It's just the vainpot me who have an uncontrollable urge to keep buying.
I have totally no say in the slimming part given my weight is growing exponentially every year. Don't dream of going on a diet to slim down I will not hold on to the 2nd day. Not all of us are blessed with skinny genes. So while you can think it's fine for guys to have a beer belly, please accept your girl to have fats too. My recent favourite quote off FB is " I have a hour glass figure too, just that mine contains more sand". Hur Hur.
Since everyone is talking about gender equality in Singapore, don't you think it's not fair to expect your girl/wife to cook and be well versed (then be in-charge) of all the house all chores WILLINGLY? Key word is willingly. After a hard day's work or a week, the last thing on our mind is the house work chores. I even day dream of my bed while at work. So if you think you should rest and watch tv or play the bloody PS4 during weekends while your girl/wife work her ass off cleaning the house, then you ought to take a gun and shoot yourself in the head.
Not sure about others, but in my household since both of us are contributing the equal amount to the household expenses there is no one more superior than the other. Which means to say all the duties are split equally among us. If one of us volunteers to do something that the other one is not fond of, then the person must feel grateful.
For instance I always do the ironing and folding of clothes that Mr Love is not fond off and he will gives in whenever I blast my music while ironing. During any other times, he would complaint that my music are awful. Similarly, he would wash the dishes as I have sensitive skin and I would try to help him to put away the clean ones or tidy up the dining table. On weekday nights that I prepare late night dinners for him he would always thank me. Not that he is being all polite with me, its his way of showing his appreciation.
My whole point of this entry is I am not particularly happy with how people lable Singapore women nowadays. While you think the worst of us please also do know that since we are self-sustainable, of course we would expect more of our partners. I heard from alot of my foreign colleagues that Singapore is one of the country that they see a huge number of married woman in the workforce and that they were impressed with us juggling with the many duties though not all were carried out perfectly.
You gain some, you lose some. It's never easy to strike a balance in between. Don't sterotype us by your standards. Learnt to accept that in the changing Singapore society, women had taken on an equal role with men in the household, we are no longer the dependants. Accept this and I am sure you will be able to find a Singaporean woman as your life long partner.
