Once in a lifetime

After going thru so much in the past few mths, it makes me realised those who care deeply bout me, not tat I didnt noe in the 1st place, but the past few incidents brought out the best in them, rallying around me, providing with the strongest support I can ever asked for, taking care of me, and simply being around for me..

Its like hubs and I went thru a huge roller coaster ride within a span of 2mths. From finding out my pregnancy to worrying bout BB when I 1st had bleeding to the assurance we had that BB is fine to losing our BB.. No one can ever noe wat we went thru. The nights when we laid on bed, toking to our unborn child in my tummy, nights where we discuss our plans for the little 1, the tot of welcoming him to this world, nights when we worried bout his well being when I 1st haf bleeding, nights when we couldnt slp worrying bout whether we can keep BB..Finally, nights of crying together over loss of our 1st child.

All these brought us closer, we shared dreams of our little 1, shared worries for him and shared our feelings over loss of BB.

Hubs was a quiet man by nature, not knowing how to show his concern or express himself properly. When we 1st learnt that we couldnt keep our baby, I knew he was as upset as me, I could cry out loud, but he couldnt, he needed to be strong for me, he need to console me, he need to assure me all would be okie. Yet, his pain is no less than me, I caught him tearing when he was tot I was falling aslp in hospital, I realised he flipped thru the ultrasound pics when he came home alone from hospital when he misses our baby..

Even when I 1st came home, all I did was cry over  my loss, he would just hug me sliently, waiting for me to calm down and sometimes, I see tears in his eyes. Not only, he was sad bout loss of baby, he was also sad that I couldnt get over our loss and was afraid tat I might sink into depression.

He took up the responsibility of cleaning up the house and even learnt to cook confinement food for me so tat I eat well enuff to regain my health. For some 1 who dun realli like chinese cuisine, he went to great lengths to make sure I was eating well. Buying breakie for me before going to work, going to the wet market to select fresh food to cook, thinkin of the menu the night before, he had done more that I could ever asked for.

I felt blessed that I married him, someone who I can count on in times of trouble, some 1 who will be there for me during difficult times, some one who went out of his way to care for me during my most depressed period, I knew I didnt make the wrong choice by choosing him.

Though lossing our 1st child, the bundle of love that we so look forward to, but I thank god that I still have him holding my hand, walking beside me, for we might have a chance to try for another in time to come, meeting the correct person? Its once in a life time.