Ending 2012

We survived the so called "end of world" on 21/12/12 and came close to end of 2012. It has been an eventful year for me.

Finally got down to our asses to renovate our hse this yr after 4 yrs of staying in the run down state.

Got a new job by chance when the HR called me up for an interview 1yr after I send in my CV, of cuz with a healthy pay rise.

Tried staying with my in laws for the 1st time after 4yrs of marriage and am secretly glad that I do have my own hse afterall. Its not they are not good, lets juz say every 1 has their own habits and I am not exactly the most submissive daughter in law in the world. Its best to go hm weekly for chit chat sessions.

Found out I was pregnant  in the midst of renovating my hse and during my probation.

My bestie was aso pregnant ard the same time with me, so double the joy!!

Our world came crashing down when my water bag broke for no reason 14wks into my pregnancy and gyne advised us to let bb go.

Found a new connection to Mr Love during my recovery for miscarriage.

Took 3 wks off work to mourn for my loss, though no longer mourning, I can sometimes feel the pain. I guess there is no way I can forget this 1st child of mine which I neber got the chance(and badly) wan to meet.

For 1st time in our 4yrs married life, we need to run the whole household, which means we need to gorceries shop for household items for the whole hse, but not 1 room. We need to clean up the whole hse too, previously its only a room. But it aso meant that we have more space for oursleves. Living room, kitchen, study room etc. I get to decorate my hse the way 1 want, yayyyyy...

I went to a chinese sinseh for the 1st time in my life and took chinese medicine dilligently for 4mths in hope of getting my body back in good health.

The above pretty much sums up my 2012. Though its not a great year for me, I thank god for blessing us with XB for the short 4 mths, brought out the loving and caring side of hubs that I neber noe which in turns bring us closer. BB or not, we are more loving than before. I thank god for blessing my family members, keeping them safe and sound. I thank god for blesssing me with a job with good colleagues, who had beeen every supportive throughout my most darkest time. I thank god for letting me noe those who care and those who doesnt, letting me noe who I should cherish and love. I thank god for letting me noe how difficult it is for a woman to br a mum and makes me treasure my mum more. Lastly, I thank god for not ending the world on 21/12/12 thus giving me a chance to able to continue to enjoy my life and live it to the fullest.

Looking forward to 2013, may it be a good yr. Cheers.

一起去旅行的伴

My initial plan of doing to Taiwan in Jan13 has been delayed due to non approval of leave as mentioned previously.Thus, we decided to postpone to Mar which coincides with my bday and our ROM anniversary.

And recently, we found out that 2013's March holidays has been pushed back by 1 wk, starting from 16th. Wonderful news, it means that I get to travel during my bday instead of having to wait 1 more wk. We try not to travel during sch holidays as it will equate to higher air and hotel costs.

To visit Taiwan in March is not wat we want initially as it will be warmer as compared to Jan. But then there's a good ting about Mar which is spring and the flowers will be in blossom. Also though not as cold, the weather should be cooling.

I will also get to see calla lilies finally. They will be in full blossom frm Mar to May. I have always wanted to see them but then hubs is not keen to go in Mar if given a choice, if not for the non approval, we would have gone there in Jan.

This marks our 3rd trip to Taiwan, the 1st 2, we onli venture ard Taipei. This time, I'm getting bolder, planning to visit Tai Chung and Yilan. Had already started planning for the trip as it takes time to research due as its a free & easy trip. Hubs would totally rely on  me for the directions.

Despite going there twice oredi, I found that we have not covered most of Taipei and this time, I will put in the places that we have not visit. Its not easy planning as I have to take into account the travel routes and also the different hotel costs for different timing.

The onli regretful for the change of departure time is that the scarf that I have knitted will nt come in handy in Mar due to the warm weather. I do hope that someday, we will visit countries during winter and get to don on the matching scarf that I have took so much effort to knit.

Back to my research now :)

Reunion

Attended wedding of hubs' cousin in Hilton. Being closest to them, hubs was extra happie as we got prepared to go down. To him, its as good as seeing his sister getting married.

Usually, the cousins will onli come together during big events like CNY, birthdays or weddings. Though we did not get to see each other much, they will still pretty friendly towards us. As hubs is more reserved, they will usually tok and joke with me more.

His cousin had arranged to have a photograph booth there and let the guests to take some photos to keep as a memo. We took with her parents b4 going the banquet. Half way thru the banquet, the younger cousins told us to all gathe outside as they want to a photo with all cousins inside.

Some of them had arrived later than others, thus onli half way thru the dinner we were able to gather all together outside. It was funnie to see every 1 trying to squeeze together for the photo. The cousins gang had grown with some married and some with partners. We juz wan to keep a memo of the good memories we had at the wedding, reminding us that we were 1 big family.

Then it came to a time when they decided to take the female and males alone. I was the onli sister in law there while all the other gals were related cousins. Yet, they will happie to include me into the photo despite me joining their family 4yrs ago onli. Most of them called me jie jie instead of sao sao, guess they are not use or dunno the correct way of addressing me.

I dun mind though, as I can truly felt their acceptance of me. They even arranged to go for a mid night movie after the dinner but hubs & I gave it a pass as we had oredi watched it.

It was a happie catching up with them, seeing some that we had not seen for a long time. Till the next time all, it will be CNY and this yr, you kids will have 1 more angbao to give while I will have 1 ang bao less to give..whahahah...

The boys &gals gang indiviually

The cousins trying our best to squeeze in for the photo

Close to heart

I was randomly reading news on yahoo on Tue evening when I came across the news of a Navy serviceman injuried while onboard a ship. The name looks familar and the age and unit matches a poly coursemate of mine.

Wanting to confirm further, I went and checked his FB profile and confirmed his dialet name which I didnt noe.My worst fear came true. It was indeed my coursemate. I immediately posted the news to FB to get the other coursemates' attention, hoping someone will be able to give us updates and aso to help pray for his well being.

24hrs went past b4 the others picked up this news 1 by 1. Updates from the official channel were slow, we did not have many details and we were pretty anxious to know his condition. The next time when I saw the updates were, he lost both legs and an arm, though managed to save his right arms, 3 fingers were gone too.

I was in shocked, how can this happen to him? There were no answers, the official statement issued by the Navy states that investigations are on going and it would take ard a month for it to be complete.

You know when we usually see this kind of news, its always someone else's fwen, colleague, classmates,relative,kins etc etc?

I neber 1 day expect to see this kind of news and recognised the name to be some1 I know. The feeling of it is so awful, what is even more awful is, we have totally no details of the whole incident and there is onli so little we can do for him while he awaits for his fate.

Thinking back, we were not even close back in sch. Attending the same lecture, we werent even in the same class throughout our poly time. But still, he is part of the wonderful memories I had during my poly years. We do have common fwens who we will hang out together before or after lecture. Coming from different classes, we do exchange/swap tips and notes on n off. Its realli hit me hard to see him in this state, suffering from the wrost injury that any 1 could imagine.

News later came out with the appeal of blood donation for his blood type, O+ which I do not belong to. The onli thing our coursemates can do, is to spread the news ard, hoping some kind soul would donate their blood to him.

Meanwhile, we aso kept him in our prayers, hoping that he would be able to pull through this tough time.Though its easier said than done, I sincerely hope that you will be able to face this difficult times bravely Jason. Somewhere here, all our coursemates will be praying for your well being. We will be rallying behind you till you are able to receive visitors. Hang in strong there pal, be strong.

人算不如天算

We've been planning to go on a short getaway ever since our loss of XB. Hubs had used all up his leave for this yr while taking of me back then and the nearest we can go is in Jan 13.

I have been actively researching for this trip as we wanted to visit other parts of Taiwan instead of north area onli.

The thing is when I tried to apply for leave, my superior told me that Jan is year end closing and hoped that I can consider  pushing back my trip.

Since she had oredi requested, there is no way I can go against her, I mean, this is nt an urgent trip, can be done anytime, thus we decided to push to March.

The reason we choose Jan in the 1st place is due to the cool weather. Hubs loved cool weather countries. It will still be cooling in March though no where comparable to Jan, but I guess it is still cooling.

The onli ting I am excited bout going in Mar is, it will be our 5th ROM anni, its my bday month and the flowers are in full blossom.

I had always wanted to see the calla lilies in full blossom and this will be my chance. Hopefully, the trip will go thru. I've checked, airtix and hotels are more ex in Mar and airtix have limited seats oredi.

But hopefully by mid Jan when I can start applyin for leave,the hotels I wanted will still have vacancies and the air tix will still be available.

Wish me luck!

My guide books

New deco

Found this off G-market, been toying with the idea of buying but neber got ard doing it while I was preggies as mummy say cannot anyhow stick things during preggies..After the miscarriage, I forgot bout this product till recently, I saw the offer for it and went ahead to buy not 1 but 3 stickers to decorate my beri empty looking walls.

Living room:

I have a pretty huge living room by today's standard and the walls are quite empty even with my 2 Mickey jigsaw, neber have the time or mood to complete the other 3  but then still cannot take up all the empty spaces. So I decided to paste some of the deco on the wall behind the sofa, which I initally wanted to apply a layer of those special wall paper.

The onli thing that stops me is the pricing.1.8K for 1 wall onli.OMG. Daylight robbery, I figured that I can think of other ways to deco the wall. Hehe this time, I brough a set of flowers with butterflies/insects sticker to paste on the wall. Complete with the pink painting I requested during renovations, it look like spring all year round now in my living room. Very girlish is hubs' comments but then he cannot do anyting bout it. I did wanted to paste my fav snow flakes but on 2nd tots it will onli suits the up coming X-mas and after which will makes it look like over-due deco, thus brought this flowery design.

Its Spring time all year round!!!!

 Kitchen door:

My kitchen has a glass door living room and kitchen, though under use, I am afraid 1 day, some 1 might walked straight into it without realising the door is pull out. The problem with glass door is, it is transparent.
Been searching for someting to paste on the door to make it more visible, even though you are sleeply. I do not want those aninmals prints/flowers or wat so ever themes. I wan something associated with food since this is the doorway to kitchen.

Found the perfect stickers this time with the various breads/muffins/coffees design as though as you are entering a cafe. This is the closest to the food theme I can find. But then application of these stickers are a killer man.

Unlike the previous flowers theme, these sticker had onli the outline of the items, making them flimsy. Thus during application, many a times, I need to pull out the stickers to re-apply to get the correct shape. Then again, I am afraid while pulling them out, I would tear up the stickers accidentally. Thus I had a hard time gettng the various shapes rite. Spent a good 2 hrs doing these up.

The end product, makes me have a sense of accomplishment. 2hrs not wasted!!

Coffee, tea or me?

Study room:

Lastly, I brough a world map. Found it interesting, I had always like the world map and the onli thing now is to decide where to stick it on. Had too many empty walls tat is..

After discussion with hubs, we decided to stick it up in the study room. Makes more sense as the kids will be using this room for studies next time, thus having something educational in this room fits the image.heheh...
Am pretty happie with the outcome, now I stared at it whenever I study in the room. hur hur..

Where is Singapore?

Hubs make me promised not to buy any more of the stickers as for now as he is afraid I would turn our hse in to a kindergarden look alike with all the pasting.

Okie, I shall stop of the time being as there are no more discounts oredi..Hehe if I ever see the discounts again, there is no promise what I will or will not do...:)

Of lions and lioness

While on our way home, we were toking bout some animals topic and hubs suddenly got reminded by a joke made by me thousands of years ago and started teasing me.

It started with an innocent trip to the zoo, back when I still have access to free zoo passes, it used to be 1 of our fav dating place..There was this once, while at the lion enclosure, hubs found me squatting down there trying hard to peep under the lions who were walking about.

Puzzled, he asked me wat I was doing, and I replied I was trying to differentiate between the male and female. He then started luffing so hard that he nearly rolled on the floor. In between his laughters, he asked me whether had I not learnt in school that the lion is distinguishable by its mane while lioness do not have it?

I pondered hard..Seriously I tink I didnt pick this up from sch, neither did mummy tell me or I read frm anywhere else. How was I to know?

Today, he went 1 step further to probe :

He asked me, den why do I think there are lions with mane and some without? So I told him, I just assume some have more hair, others do not, why am I suppose to tink so much of the hair on the lion's head?

"So you mean some have hair, others are just customers of Bejing 101?" he asked again..

"Ya la, something like tat lo" I replied.

"Lucky for you that you've got me telling you this GK, else next time your children will suffer" he went on

"How so?"

Since he was so high on this subject, he went on to act out a scenario, assuming that I had taught our kid the wrong thing, 1 fine day the kid went n told his fwen bout what I taught him..

Kid saying to his fwens " But my mummy says can differentiate lions by lookin under them to see their reproductive organs"

Kid's Fwen:" You mean you dunno lion have mane while lioness dun?"

Kids" My mummy neber teach me wat.."

Kid's fwen started to luff at him.

Kid came running home tell me that its all my fault that he got teased in sch for not knowing lions have mane and he tot they just have more hair than the other lions.

He got so happie that this tot that he keep luffin at me on the way home, all the way making those noisy sound simitating a kid saying " my mummy neber teach me wat"

Then suddenly he stopped and look at me, "eh, you think your mummy knows about this or not? did you asked her before? scarily she aso dunno..."

Ok lo, since you so happie rite? Wait till I go ask my mummy infront of you, see whether you can luff so happily or not..HMMMFFFFFFFFFFF.......

Simple fare

Most will know by now that hubs is a much better cook den I though we both took home econs bak in sec sch...Eh, I tink mine is home econs, u noe the mandatory subject in sec 1& 2? I remember clownin in class, making my partner cook while I do clean up, chopping, reading instructions out loud etc.. I was however, especially good with handicraft like cross stitch, t-shirt designing...Nah..tat was years AGO....

Hub on the other hand, took a much sophisticated version of home econs known as Food & Nutrition in upper secondart years (luckily my sch did not have this option) and he did real cooking..Unlike me clowning ard in class, he told me he scored a decent B4 in the subject..Mine home econs is A1 if its of any consolation..(theory good, teacher did taste the food I cooked) hehhe...

Anyways, coming back to present, my hubs is the cook of the house, master of the kitchen while I happily pluck myself on the sofa waitin for food to be serve than helping to clear the table b4 going bak to the sofa again.heee.. All the while, things pretty much remains the same, till he got sick..

He was so weak that he cannot move much and of cuz had no appetite. Sick aso muz eat rite? Especially he have got a glutton wife...So I took the chance and told him that I will cook for a change. For an instance, he have me the "will you burn down my kitchen"look. Hey!!! I did some cooking b4 kk? Back when the hse was not renovated yet..没良心。。He forgot bout it le!!

I had not planned to cook any thing complicated, since he is sick. So, we sticked to porridge, steam cod fish, fried egg with sliver fish and my favourite 豆苗。。。Seriously I can do better, but I am just lazy and since he is wayyyyyyy better than me, why show off infront of the master?

I stick to the simple fare for a change, whahaha and satisfies my craving for a porridage and steam cod fish..Something he will not take if not for being sick..hehehe

Then on fri, I took leave to stay at home to mug, and being the lazy bum, I raid my fridge for anything that I can cook for lunch. The best thing bout having the hse back is, I can store lots of food in my fridge and can open and see what I wannna cook as n when I feel like it..Feels so damn good.

Found pork and sichuan veggie and decided to anyhow stir fry them..heheh Cooked porridge again and then lastly decided to fried an egg with sliver baits...Just like tat lunch is serve within 10mins...Such simple fare is the most suitable for lazy plp like me on lazy days where I juz wanna fill my tummy... 

 

Lack of updates #1651561

Weeeewww...Oct is over, I am so looking forward to my bonus which is coming in Jan 13..

Okie, a short post is all I can do now though I have a million things to update.

Been sick again (wats new), went for a poly classmate's weddin last nite with my sisters and met those who I dun wanna meet. Not exactly friendly (story on another day) but am glad to see my sistas and managed to arranged a gathering there...heheh

Been realli busy with work and hse and shopping (though neber buy anything)..

Gotta go off now as I am nursin a super bad sore throat which I tot it went away last wk..


Damn, why am I so weak? Shall be back with the posts when I am wel..till then

Happy wkend every 1!!

Its been a hetic wk, since its a shorter wk, thus was rushing to finish the month end thingys like crew payroll, NZ GST reporting (this month got 2 coy to work on), taking in as much invoices as I could to record the expenses..

Been thrown a bomb today by FPD dept, requesting me to help with the project costs reclassification. Hello boss? Its 4 vessels with 9 mths of chnages need to be look in, you think I no need time ar? Even with time, I aso need to do my daily things on top of this plus I have yet to close my quarterly reporting which my FC is patiently waiting for me to clear the shits tat are left by the previous company colleagues..

Okie, to be fair, you have given me time, its I juz dun haf the time..hur hur... Manage to clear 1 vessel and ask them to check on whether the costs are reasonable to them or not..Else, I would need to fine tune abit..
Whole yr dun check la, now found out the costs are allocate wrongly den request me to rectify in such a short period...NOT FAIR LA... But then again, fair or not, its my job, LL suck thumb continue to do..whahaha..

I tink the flu is finally gone, though still feel abit unwell, and my auntie came to visit oredi!! Neber was I so happie to receive this visitor whose presence is long overdue..Am super tired today but glad all is over. Am now listening to Kenny G's music and lighted up the aroma therapy to relax myself as I typed this entry.. Therapeutic music, therapeutic smell, doing my therapeutic activity, man, I'm glad this wk is over...

Oh, forgot to mention, met up with Hang Papa this wk for lunch. 1st time in history he sms me to go out for lunch (onli exception is during my bday), usually is me who have to contact him..Think he got a shock when he saw my miscarriage posts..But then, all is well now. Thank you for you concern, I owed you your bday lunch, wait till you get back frm China 1st....

Tmr, we will be going bak to msia, its been such a long time since I went bak. I couldnt bring myself to travel during the initial miscarriage phase, and after that need to go for weekly treatment at the chinese doc during sat, leaving no time for us to make a trip bak. Since tmr is a long wkend, muz as well go bak after such a long disapperance frm there. Mum and piggy bro is joinin us too.

Well, gonna go slp to prepare for the early wake up, reckon traffic might not be good..Oh god, please help to clear up the traffic while we cross the causeway...Happie wkend every 1...

Am sick again...

Remember my injection day nearly 2 wks ago? Its the flu vaccination with my colleagues told me they will inject virus into us and thus creating antibodies or something like tat. They say a portion of plp will fall sick after the injection. Initially, I seems to be okie, hur hur, starting from monday morning, I start to get runny nose.

The tap juz refuse to shut itself up. I lost count of how many tissues I used, tried taking spicy food during lunch with Hang papa but it did not help. The stupid running nose continued through the day and into Tuesday and my nose became sore from all the tissue rubbing..

I was feeling beri sick by then and my 2 lovely colleagues (aka my left/right speakers) can still luff at me. Saying that I have a slow reaction brain for it takes 1 wk for my brain to detect the virus injected into me and for it to act up. Damn. wat kind of colleagues I've got.

When they saw me having tears in my eyes due to the sneezing, they were so damn happie that they told me they will stop teasing me for an half hr for me to rest( that was half an hr b4 lunch). Teasing came bak straight at 12pm while preparing to go for lunch.

The worst part is, I am in a daze and did not have enuff brain cells to think of counter attack, juz saw there stonely for them to suan lo...

After lunch, I took a break and a sneaked a power nap while many were still out for lunch. It did not help. I hang on to it as I was scheduled to attend the appraisal training that I missed last thurs due to leave. This is the last training day and I die die aso need attend. I do not want 1 to 1 lessons from HR...

Then, I got lost while doing the NZ GST report. Numbers were swimming in front of me. Cannot concentrate at all but then still have to as a mistake will cause me to check thru the 500+ lines of entries that I have painstakingly entered.

Sometimes, I wonder whether it was rite to switch to accounts or not..On days that you cannot concentrate, its a diaster to be doing accounting job as a tiny mistake will sometimes meant you need to go thru the whole process to rectify it.

After the training session, I decided that I cannot take it anymore. If I sit there any longer, I am afraid that I might fainted there and then. So, asked for time off to go at 4pm to visit the doc. You know, sometimes when you want do someting and everything seems to go wrong? Its juz like tat for me. Realised doc is closed for the evening break and thus went home n took a yellow pill then K.O.

Didnt manage to go to the night session too as I overslp due to the effect of the pill. So, I went bak today to work feeling as shitty as yesterday. As much as I loved to stay in my bed and slp, I've got my dear NZ GST report waiting for me, where in turn my dear manager is waiting to check and submit to our dear NZ government by sunday. Essentially, tmr will be the last day of submission as the next 3 days are non working days in SG.

Luckily, I manage to finish the report at 1st try though I was wrapped up like as though I am in a winterland. Many colleagues who walked passed commented on my outfit today, den to realise I came in sick..hurhur..

Though had a tough day, but it is fulfilling to know I have 1 deadline less on my schedule. Working with deadlines does have its pros n cons. You can feel tat time passes faster as every wk I have deadlines to meet. Yet while trying to meet the deadlines, I sometimes have to have certain stress..

Well, the onli consolation now is the long wkend ahead and of cuz, pay is in early this month due to the holidays..yippeeeee......

Finally gone...

For the 1st time, we tried to have a guy tenant in our hse, since he seems to be quite well kept during viewing of room. But then the nightmare starts since the day he shifted in.

Both hubs & I were deem to be easy going persons but then we do haf our limit. More so, when our hse is newly renovated and we did spend ALL our savings on it, it is onli natural that we want to upkeep our things as long as we can.

The tenant in question, is a Filipino guy in his 40s who worked as an IT manager in 1 of the manufacturing plant here. He told us that he would not be home most of the time due to work and will be out during wkends as he want to roam about. Fair enuff, we tot, means he juz need a sleeping place.

The 1st warning sign came when after we strike a deal with him den I suddenly rememebered to ask him whether he is a smoker. He seems abit hesitant in answering this question but finally admit to being 1. We were then relucant to accept him, but he keep promising that he would not smoke in the house and will go dowastairs to smoke. Seeing that he is sincere in this,we decided to gave it a try.

On the day that he shifted in, we realised that he had alot of things, more than 1 room can fit. And he tried to cheat abit by asking us whether he could leave his shoe rack in my living room (I rejected), and he left a humungous box outside his room, asking for a few days grace as he wanna send it back home (we agreed) and aso a small fan on top of the box as our room is equipped with a fan and he did not want to place it inside. Lastly, his TV box, is aso left outside his room.

It makes my living room looks messy now that some of his things are left there. He shows no sign of wanting to remove it anytime soon. I told hubs that I would give him 1 month, den we will speak to him. If he cleared within the 1st month, den all is good. Also, there is another tenant in the house, how would she feel if she sees that we allowed him to place his things outside of the room but not her? To be fair, we decided to be firm with the rule of keeping their things strictly inside their room.

For a start, things were quite ok except that we noticed he would close the doors extremely hard as he is lazy to pull down the handles to close the doors. Heart pain is 1 thing, as I always see my main gate vibrating whenever he closes the it, the other thing is, he has the habit of having a smoke early in the morning when he wakes up and late into the night juz before sleeping. Whenever he closes the doors, we will be awake by the loud banging. At 1st, we tried to ignore, but it got irritating after a while.But how do I tell him (an adult) to close to door more softly? It like giving instructions to a baby.

Also, after a wk or so, we noticed he got lazy and did not go downstairs for his smoke. Instead, he would juz stand at the corridoor and smoke away while all the smoke get blows into our living room. Wats the difference of allowing you to smoke inside and outside of the hse??We still get the smoke which is wat we dun wan!!!He would aso leave the door unlock while he smoke and when he walks over to the chute to throw away his ciggie.

To him, SG is safe enuff to leave the door unlock and walk away for a short awhile. Call me kiasee but then given his routine smoking time, I am afraid plp might noticed and "aimed" our hse. We tried toking to him bout locking the door but then the excuse he gave that he is juz outside!!He did however cooperate but onli when he sees us sitting in the living room, once we retreat to our room, he resumes to his old ways thinking that we were aslp.

There was this particular night when I hear him closing the door without locking and came out of my room to the living room, he got a shock and look paiseh when he came bak, but I was oredi beri pissed with his lazy ways. Mum feedback to me that there was once while she was at my hse, he juz came home and leave the door wide open and went to his room for quite sometime while looking for something. Would it kill him to lock the gate after him? He would do this infront of me too.. I cannot imagine if no 1 is ard and he did this and someone juz slipped into our hse without him realising as he closes his room door. I cannot risk it.

We would aso notice his other lazy ways, like washing his clothes after 2 wks and took up all the space we have to hang his clothes. We werent too please as there are 3 other persons doing the washing every wk to clear our laundry. He did not even have the courtesy to check with us if we are going to do the laundry or not and instead take matters into his own hands. He would aso leave his clothes hanging there for wks till he have no more new clothes to wear.

Then, I noticed that he would wear his home clothes revsered so that he can wear it longer. Nearly fainted when he told me this.Government often told us that this foreign talents are need to boost our economy when they come here to work. Tell me, how can he contribute to SG when he is juz down rite lazy? Manager somemore!!!

I listen to his boasting of going to smoking breaks, tea breaks blah blah blah, seems like he worked less than 5hrs a day, got paid as a manager and smmore can sneer that his boss. He told us that he would onli act to be on time on days he knew his boss is coming to office. There was once he woke up late at 7.30 when his work time is 8am. He can calmly go outside for his smoke and still slowly go take a shower. This kind of working attitude would get kicked from my company in no time. I can safely say most of us abide strictly to our working hours, lunch time. The way he describes his working style is as he is takin salary for smoking and having tea break in his company, anyting else, its been directed to his subordinates...

Anyways, enuff is enuff, told hubs to tell him tat we are not use to his living habits and decided that we will not rent out the room to home. He is given a mth's grace to find some place to move to. He tired to plead with us initially, promising he will change, top up the utilities bills (which shot up double since he moved in) etc..but we were firmed in our decision. We couldnt risk trusting him as we do not know when he will revert to his old ways. He den tried to bargain with us, telling us its not easy to find a place to move within a mth's time(bullshit) and ask us to let him stay till he gets a new place.

Luckily, we were prepared for all these, and hubs told him max is 2wks more and he will need to shift out. We do not want him to drag on n on..A day later, he told hubs that he would shift out by the wkend and request us to refund him the remainding rental of the month. We actually had the mind to forfeit it de but decided otherwise for it may be a better idea of him to move out as quickly as possible.

After he moved out, I spent 3days cleanin up his room which is full of smoke smell!!! Damn pissed off, have to use the aroma therapy thingy to smoke the room to get rid of the smell, clean ALL the wardrobe and cupboards, washed the curtains and sweep & mopped the floor. Can you imagine that throughout the 2 mths he is with us, he did not even clean the room? Even the trash bin is full of stains...agggrrrrrr....

Am glad that we got rid of him, and now we have a female singaporean staying in the room. Hopefully she will be better than him. But then again, I think its quite difficult to get someone who is worse than him.

3rd world class

In my line of work, I deal daily with invoices, account of statements, payments, receipts, payroll. I need to handle vendor's queries on non-payments, under or over payments etc..

There is this 1 incident that makes me fuming..It is normal to receive vendors' statement at month and then we have to reconcile the difference and the liasing with the vendor to resolve any discrepancy..

There was this particular invoice from MPA(The Maritime and Port Authority of Singapore) charging us interest for an invoice that we had paid up and within their credit terms. So, I called them up, trying to resolve this problem.

The guy who picked up my call (Mr C) told me that they dun not entertain call in, asking me to write in instead., gave me the in charge's email and told me to write in requesting them to check. Luckily, I have certain experience dealing with government bodies, and thus, I requested for this email too, to keep him CC, in case the person who I should be dealing with did not respond to my query.

True to my prediction, they did not respond despite me sending reminders every 3 days( they need 3 days to response as stated in their auto reply mail, thus I waited for the dateline to be up before reminding them). 

Its tiring to have to keep remembering to chase them for an answer, but still I keep on sending chaser as it is part of my duties. The most irritating part? They did not even bother to reply me, except for the auto reply.
I had already send so many emails/chaser to them, even if they had not investigate this matter, they can at least reply me to say that they are looking into this matter, but no, nothing, not a single reply from them at all..

The last stalk came when I received another interest charge this month, meaning to say not only they ignored my query, they continued to let the mistake carrying on, billing us the interest. I knew if I do not take any action, this thing will not get resolve anytime soon.

Their websites only stated the common email for us to send our queries to, but I've tried sending before and got no reply, so this time, I decided to write to their higher management, hoping to get the problem solved once and for all without me having to send chaser every 3 days and while having to explain to my management why we are being charged interest monthly. It seems like we are not doing our job in making sure payment is prompt.

The thing about complaining to the higher management (in this case the financial controller), the reply will come in faster than you say "chaser". Mr C who I found out is the manager of credit management, immediately replied me saying that the interest will be wavied within this week.

This Mr C, is all along being CCed in my mails and the chasers but then he chose to ignore me, also he was the one who insist me writing an email to them for the wavier.But he didnt take any action though he saw me asking time n again on this issue. Instead, the mintue I escalate this issue to his superior, he can emailed me bak saying that they can get it wavied within the wk even though he is on MC.

Why do you need me to blow up the issue before replying me? Should you have looked into wat I brought up in the 1st place, I would not have bring this to your superior to get you to work. I am utterly disappointed with the way the government sector employees work. I mean, we always claimed to have a world class system. Yet,with this encounter, had not been me who took the effort to went an extra mile to write in to the higher management, hoping to resolve this issue, it would have been left hanging there and my company will continue to recevie the interest charge every month.

This is the difference between private and public sector. 2 wks after this MPA issue, I got  a statement from Raffles medical stating non-payment from us. I reconciled, and found that we have paid most of the mentioned invoice, others being not due for payment or non-receipt of the invoice. Wrote them an email, highlighting my concern, within half an hr, a staff called me back to liase with me on this issue.

I do not expect every 1 to be this efficient. Sometimes, we need time to go investigate the claims, but 1 month of no reply from them is realli my limit. It only goes to show how bad their attitude is. In my case, I am liable to answer to my superiors on the interest charged and therefore would make an extra effort to solve this problem.

We this kind of working attitude, I am sure we are going toward world class system, but is 3rd World...

Same same but diffferent

Hubs told me that his accountant came bak to work after a 2mths break from work due to his miscarriage...

He told me that she looked quite fine on her 1st day of work,even found time to ask about me and sent her regards despite us facing the same situation...

Hubs told me that he didnt dare to ask bout her well being for fear upsetting her.

I told hubs, though she look normal on the outside, but then deep down inside, she may not feel the same anymore.

It felt as though as everything is bak to normal, working, shopping, eating, net surfing, gathering, but then deep down inside me, there is always a void within me.

During bath time, I would sometimes be reminded that during my short pregnancy, I would tok to XB inside me, tellin him tat its bath time, asking him to njoy the water. Not sure whether this helps, but I read from fwens that they did tat during their pregnancies so that BB will not be scared of water during bath time next time..

On the surface, everyting seems to be the same as before, but then I noe someting is different within me oredi, I guess the same goes for every woman who went thru this path.

Same same but different, but life still goes on...

Dressing up

For the past few months, I stopped shopping becuz of my pregnancy & miscarriage..The last time I shopped this yr, is during CNY and then I stopped.

After my miscarriage, I didnt have the mood to go bak shopping, hubs always see this as a sign of depression. Thus, he was quite supportive when he sees me wanting to shop.But then is emotionally, not financially. Whaha

At 1st I couldnt find any clothes to my liking despite Hubs bringing me to nearly all my fav haunts. I felt that no matter wat I tried on, nothing looks good. This is the extend of how bad my mood is. For some1 who shops like me, not able to buy even 1 top during shopping is a serious problem, or so Hubs claims..whhaha

I aso didnt like to go out often, getting tired easily. Hubs patiently encouraged me to go out more, even it is for a short while. Sometimes, after walking 1 round in the mall, without goin into any shops, I would say I wanna go home oredi, nothing hubs can do, but to go with my wishes.

Recently, I went bak to shopping, not the conventional kind, but online. Though abit difficult to judge the sizing intially, but I am proud to say I am still able to buy things tat fits till now. After rounds of buying frm the same seller, I can now judge whether I can fit or not by seeing the measurements they provide.

Until I think I am happie to go bak shopping again, I would temporary stick to this arrangement :)

Injection day

My company organised an flu injection drive today to get us vaccinated with the flu injection or watever it is called...Its pretty rare for a company to arrange for vaccination inhouse, at least in my years of working, this is the 1st time I come across this.

At 1st only the few of us from Finance joined, actually we didnt joined willing, we kinda dared each other to join, with only SH being the scary cat, die die aso dun join.whahah..End up 3 of us plus our FC signed up.

The thing is, I am most afraid of needles, much less volunteering for vaccination. But then cannot lost to the commando-trained uncle who aso is afraid but becuz of our jeering, signed up with us..Whahah..

Turns out not many signed up, onli 16 out of 60 pax. And the clinic realli sent a nurse and representative down to get us vaccined despite the low turn out.

The finance team went in 1st as the room is nearest to us, and we did not want to waste time waiting for the others to go 1st. Commando uncle went 1st and the rest of us are joking with him while he sat there waiting for the nurse to prepare the needles..Nerve wrecking moment I think, I would not want to be in tat position.Like a pig awaiting to be slaughter while the others look on..whahah

Expat colleagues from commercial department cannot understand why we are so happie over the injection and keep looking at the few of us rolling with laughter. But when its our turn, we cannot manage even a smile while sitting on the "injection chair"hur hur..

I think they were pretty amused by us but nonetheless, got use to us being noisy...heheh

The teasing continued even after injection as we start to compare who's arm is going numb, who is having flu symtomps oredi, who's injection bite is still bleeding..whahah And of cuz, we didnt let SH off, keep "encouraging" him to go for the injection since there are spares..He refused to budge, its only when the nurse and the representative left, then he felt "safe".Even that, our teasing didnt realli stop. I reckon it can continue for the next 2 wks till we find something new to tease.

Speaking of which, am feeling abit feverish now..damn, hope I wun develop flu like wat they say...

Going rest early today....Or so I wished...heheh

Feeling low

Haf you ever experienced a few days tat you will feel down?Everything that you do dun go according to plan, dress you wore dun feel rite, you lack of self-confidence, you are just passing days..

I do haf these periods once in a while, recently came back again. Every morning when I look into the mirror, everything I choose for work doesnt feel rite. I am usually pretty confident with my dressing. Though I belong to the bigger sized gals, I did not feel bad about myself.

I felt good in my body despite being abit on the plump side. But during these days, I cannot find my confidence, everything I wore seems to be bring out the worse in me. I hate this kind of feeling. It is not depression, but then it does affect me in some way or another.

I feel like taking a break, a short 1 will do, maybe half a day. To haf abit of "me-time". Where I can go to a book shop, choose a book and read there while sipping coffee and watching the world go by. I like the feeling of seeing every 1 rushing to somewhere while I sit there watching, knowing tat I need not rush to somewhere, feeling relax and laid back.

Then, pop by the shops to do some shopping, taking my time to go over the clothes without hafin to squeeze with the crowds. I feel like walking ard aimlessly while listening to my MP3, awaiting for the next good bargain I may find while shopping.

Lastly, to take a long bus ride home when I can sleep and rest during the journey. I missed the feeling of getting a seat on those long journey bus and start to day dream b4 falling aslp during the journey. Used to do it during sch days where I would take buses onli no matter how long the journey is, juz to save on the MRT fares.

Well, the more I write, the more I feel like taking half a day off to go on this little adventure. Heehe, shall go back to office and check out my calender where I had planned my work schedules. Muz find time to work around the datelines to find time for my "Me-time"..

Now reading-Chicken Soup for the Soul

The last time I read the chicken soup for the soul series was when I was in secondary sch. I love their short stories, inspiring, humourous, touching...Its one of those books that you can relax while reading the short stories..

Recently, not sure why its back in the trend again, Popular is having sales on the series and I took the chance to buy "The Magic of Mother & Daughter" title. This is especially close to my heart, having being beri close to my mum, sharing nearly everyting with her and vice versa..

When I was pregnant back then, I was secretly hoping for a gal, wishing the trait of close mother & daughter ties will pass on to my next generation, I too want to become my gal's mum & best fwen, just like my mum & I...

Although I had lost my child, I had not lost hope in getting pregnant again, reading the many stories inside makes me reflect on my relationship with my mummy, some are similar to wat we went thru, some shed light on how the older generation feel on certain issues, some can prepare me to better handle my daughter shd I be blessed with 1..

Reading it, lightens up my mood while savouring the stories of others, at time, reminding me of my own...

I hope, 1 day, I will be able to note down the little stories of my daughter and I, remembering the details of her growing up, from a baby to toddler, to a school child, to teenager and finally leaving me to start another family of her own.. This, would be the greatest thing in life, for a daughter is a mother's gender partner, her closest ally in the family, an extension of her self :)

My england is beri powderful

My mum comes from a chinese/dialet speaking background, was educated in Chinese schs and she onli picked up english when we start schooling. Even then, she didnt pick up much from us as we struck to speaking  mandarin at home.

Despite that, she is 1 courageous woman to me, she is totally not shy speaking to others using her half past 6 english. Many times, still feeling proud of the fact that she dared to converse in english.

So, we tried to help her as much as we can, by correcting & teasing her whenever she got some phase/words wrong. 1 might scare that she will be angry, but its juz the opposite!! She is proud of her funnie pronunciation and continued with it..

Here are some examples for the funnier 1..


David Bacon = David Beckham (Sounds similar, at least to her)

Africa = Apricot (Dun ask me why, its after she showed me the fruit then I knew what she was trying to tell me)

Lobut = Robot (Hokkien style)

Chart = Charge (Hokkien style)

Ladio = Radio (Hokkien style)

Celebrate = Separate (Sounds similar to her again, though she knew celebrate is wrong, but she juz cannot prounce separate)

Lorec = Rolex (I guess this is common among hokkien speaking ppl)

8-lay =  8-days (wat's up with all the L pronunciation??)

Pakgate = Package (Her latest 1 tat send us rolling with laughter on the floor)

There are more that I cannot recall..Will try to compile again when they come to my mind..hehhe

September is over,Here comes October

In a blink of eyes, September flew past faster than I know. Its been 2 months since I lost XB, 1 month since I went back to work.I must admit. Things seems to be on track now.

I've been confirmed by my company even though I missed nearly 2/3 of my 3mths probation. Body is more or less recovered, since I have been going to Chinese Sinseh every sat and have been dilligently taking the prescribed medicine twice a day.

Sometimes, even I am impressed with myself. For the sake of getting my body into shape for the next blessing, I drowned down wat I presumed I would rather be sick den to drink medicine. All these, I hope will bear fruits eventually :)

Mentally, I knew I am getting better. Going to work does help. Toking & joking with my colleagues, getting busied over work makes me feel that I am back to the good old days. Though sometimes, just b4 falling aslp, I cannot help but to think of XB.

Another milestone is, I finally got ard meeting fwens. Huge step for me, as I am not sure initially how to handle the attention on my loss and how not to breakdown while relating the loss or even worse, try to act as if nothing had happened.

For the 1st time in months, I met up with partner, not a grp meeting but a 1on 1 meet up. I guess I had to start to re-assure my fwens that I am well now and not let them worried bout me even more. Though while relating to her on my loss, tears nearly flowed, but I think I can handle my emotions better now.

We caught up quite bit besides the loss, makes me miss the other 2 sisters. But then I am not ready to go out often. Preferred to come home after work as I am tired and would do some reading to realx my mind.

Hubs is aso feeling more relaxed, for I am no longer in my depressed mode and we are back to old times. We tried to go shopping more often so that he will not be too bored and especially armed with his new toy, he is excited to go ard shopping new "clothes" for his toy. I am happie to go along with him, making up the lost time.

As we embraced October, I do hope that I will become better. As someone once told me, I would neber be the same after the loss, as I will always feel the lost within me, but I can thrive to live better for the sake of my loss 1 and go on to await for god's next blessing. This, would be the only thing I can do in memory of XB.

My little brother

Past by pasar malam(night markets) on our way hm the other day and I saw the cotton candy stall as our car drove by. Suddenly, I realised I missed my kiddy brother a lot. I still remember my dating days where hubs & I will without fail go down to pasar malams when it sets up near my house. Without fail, we would buy a pack of cotton candy back for my kid brother when going hm.

Thus every time when my bro learns tat we are going to pasar malam, he would wait for us to come home eagerly so that he gets to eat his favourite cotton candy. Ever since we got married and shifted to our own house, I dun buy cotton candy for him anymore..

I guess this is part of growing up, you get distanced with your siblings as you build your own family. I dun get to see him often when I shifted out, used to be monthly when I bring mummy out for dinner after payday and would ask him to go along, but then it all changed when he shifted to his gf hse earlier this year.

Now, he doesn't really calls home, didn't bother to come home unless mummy is cooking or he needs to get/bring back things. Dun even know how he is getting on at his gf place. Only time we get to see him is when he meets mummy for dinner once in a blue moon and I would tag along.

Seriously, I miss him a lot, though we have our quarrels while growing up, we were pretty close, I am just like a 2nd mum to him, keeping him in check when mummy gets too soft hearted or busy. Guided and helped him to make many of his major decisions in his earlier part of life. Neber tot we could grew so distance in a matter of months.

As he moved on to his new phase of life, I knew I had to loose my grip on him and allowed him to make decisions on his own..Now, the only thing I can do is to wait for him to approach me should he need any guidance/advice, else, I would just need to give him the space he wanted.

Tom, Dick, Harry & Peter

Many deem hubs to be the quiet n more blocked headed 1 between the 2 of us.

Wat many did not know is,he had got his own sense of humor hidden well from the public eyes.

Check out the below conversation 1 nite..

Hubs : Who did u go dinner with juz now while I'm at work?

Me: Alot, Tom, Dick, Harry & Peter

Hubs : 骗人,cannot be all of them lo

Me: Why not?

Hubs: Dick is with me all along, how to haf dinner with you??

Busy wkend

My hubs is well known for going after the newest phone..Of cuz with iPhone 5 coming to our shores tmr, how can he pass up the chance of buying at the 1st chance he had?

He had register his interest with both Singtel & M1, making me register my interest too as my contract is free to recontract already. Didnt want to lose any chance of laying his hand on the phone you see..

Yesterday, Singtel opened their appointment booking at 10pm sharp, and only those who had registered their interest gets an invitation email to book an appt to buy the phone. Its double work in my opinion. If you had registered your interest, obviously you wanna buy rite?Why the need to log in again to book an appt? Waste of time. Anyways, I think its their way of marketing, so if wanna buy, bo bian..

So, at 10pm, hubs enlisted my help to try log on to the booking system. PC, lappie, iPad, iPhones, every gadget tat can log on to the net, we used to try to get into the system, some using our home internet, some using our phone data, hoping to get lucky.

We managed to get into the system once, but was boot out for no reason at some point while moving on to the next page. Hubs nearly flipped. Tried again for the next half hr with me giving up, and him continuing refreshing the pages on the various gadgets.

He managed to get a slot in the end, though not his ideal model, but then he is finally able to secure phone purchase on both fri & sat nite and I am suppose to acc him to MBS to collect the phone in midst of the F1 race going on there. Man, its gonna be so crowded..

Its gonna be a busy wkend of us..

Touched..

Twice today, I felt touched, beri touched that plp are still concerned over my well being despite me hafin the miscarriage 1 & a half mth ago.

During lunch, part time bf smsed me and check on my well being and asked me to meet her b4 her trip overseas so that she can noe I am well now.. Realli felt beri touched that despite me not attending her wedding during my initial pregnancy stage, not meeting her & the other gals during my pregnancy as I am instructed to move ard less and not meeting up with them again after my miscarriage as I am not in the mood to go out, she texted me on n off to make sure that I am well and not giving me pressure to meet her as she noes I need time to adjust..

I noe she is beri concerned over my well being, while trying hard not to pressurised me to let go of my loss, she needs to make me open up. Striking a balance is neber easy, texted me too often, it seem like giving me pressure, texting me too infrequent, it makes her seem unconcerned. I know she is trying her best to be her for me at the same time giving me some space to mourn. Realli grateful to her, I noe I can count on you part time, I promised to meet you b4 ur trip to catcha up:)

Then near to off work time, I met my MD's secretary while goin to the ladies. Truth to be told, we werent consider close,  just colleagues, yet everytime when she bumped into me, she will check on my recent well being, offering some tips, giving encouragement. She could haf smiled and just walked off or juz engage in small polite small tok, but she always take some time off to chat with me, to find out on my well being. Its realli touching can? Given she dun realli tok to others, this small gesture of hers is realli realli sweet.

Tat said, I noe there are many more others who are concerned, like my bestie, who despite being pregnant herself, will text me to check on me every other few days. My twin who has juz been blessed with a boi recently, checked on me every other few days too though he is tied up with his then heavily pregnant wife, jie jie who works near me is still waiting patiently for me to go lunch with her...heheh..Last but not least, my mummy, who will need call me everyday to hear my voice, though she is not as worried as during initial stages, she still checks on me daily...

I am gettin better, realli, for the sake of my dear family & fwens, for the sake of hafin another 1, I will move on strongly, though pain is still there, but I take all these in my stride..

I am not alone

These are the exact words that my fwen told me when she learnt of my miscarriage.. It does sounds hurtful at 1st, I mean, even I am not alone, cant I mourn?

Later, when I calmed down, I start to realise, realli I am not alone in this miscarriage saga. After learning of our loss, many ard us start to share their stories with us..

My boss, lost hers at 7wks, neber got ard hafing another 1, perhaps due to her age, perhaps due to work stress, we didnt manage to find out.

My colleague's wife, miscarriage twice, but went on in between to have 2 more children.

Hubs' colleague,S, who lost hers 1st and went to haf a cute gal who is 2 years old now.

Hubs' cousin-in law, who got preggies ard the same time as me, lost hers too and she lost her previous 1 too, but had 2 healthy children before.

My twin's wife, who miscarriage twice and had just given birth to a healthy boy recently.

Hub's boss, who miscarriage and had a bubbly gal now aged 6.

Hub's accountant who also lost hers at 14wks juz 2 wks after me and is on 2 mths break now.

Even the doc admistrating GA on me, told me she suffered a miscarriage b4 going to go give birth to 2 healthy children.

The most scary 1 being, my mummy's neighbour who told me she lost hers at 5mths due to bb not developing properly.

There are many more stories I heard, many started to open up and shared their stories or their fwens' stories with us, hoping to let us noe, they feel for us, they knew wat we were going thru.

We realised nearly every other person had the experience of miscarriage be it their 1st or subsequent pregnancie.

My mum was wondering aloud the other day, dunno whether our generation are weaker or her generation is made of harder stuff.

She had 3 of us smoothly, did not even haf morning sickness!!!

Perhaps is becuz she is a stay at home mum while I am juggling new work and not to mention renovations, staying with in-laws during my pregnancy bak then.

Anyhow, though I know I am not alone, it didnt take the pain away.

Not being alone doesnt mean it doesnt hurt.

Not being alone doesnt mean it helps, in fact I dun wish for any 1 to experience this as it is realli a painful experience, physically and mentally. More so, if you lost yours like my way.

I know I am not alone, but seriously how does this help?

李式笑话- Random conversation#8792649231

While watching a re-run of a Korean serial, I came across these lines:

Man (while on his 1st date wif gal): "I am going to remember today, its the happiest day of my life to go on the 1st date with you"

So, as usual, I turned ard to hubs and the following conversation follows:

Me: "老公，我们的第一次 约会是你一生最快乐的日子妈？"

Hubs (all the while eyes not leaving his iPad): "是！"

Me: "那，你还记得是几时的事吗？"

Hubs: "不记得了"

Me: "那你还说是！最快乐的日子可以忘记的么？"

Hubs (Looking sheepish) :" 你知道我有健忘症嘛。。。"

Every time onli noe how to 应酬我。。。。

Enjoying Macau..

Bro is currently working in Macau, this is the 3rd time he went there this yr, 1st time is our family trip, 2nd and tis time for work..After the 1st scare, we reminded or rather threaten him to on his hp, else there is no promise wat my mummy will ask me to do (i.e call his employer to get his contact details). He did, whahah good boy! Cuz he went MIA for 2 wks, making mummy nearly teared and jumped on the 1st plane to Macau, he knew better not to repeat this stunt again..

According to mum, he is njoying his work stint there, visiting Zhu Hai and Hong Kong on wkends. Unlike in Spore, he will usually stay at home, prefering to look at his PC rather than goin out..Having said that, I think I will do the same if I was send to work there..After all, there are more things to explore than to coop up in the hotel during wkends, whereas in Singapore, we have been to those where we wanna go.

Being a small red dot, there is nothing new every now n then to go to..Instead we usually laze at home on wkends..Contacting my bro on mummy's behalf, reminds me of our family trip earlier this yr..Though I didnt haf a good impression of Macau becuz all they can offer is onli Casinos, but I like the fact that we travelled together..

Be Safe there bro, hope u bring bak alot of tings for me from Zhu Hai...whahahah

Paper human

My mum calls me 纸人 cuz she finds me weak, falling sick every now and then..

The most recent 1 is on tue nite, where for no appranent reason, I start to vomit, had the runs, and haf beri bad stomach cramps..My stomach cramp last for the whole nite and thus didnt get a good nite slp..

Went to work next day with the cramps and tahan the whole day..Not that I'm hardworking but becuz I am due to release 1 report to my various vessels for them to prepare for the upcoming payroll and becuz my colleague is on leave, I would need to cover him, thus haf no choice but to show up for work..

Had a beri bad day, keep running to the toilet when the stomach acts up..and by the time Im due to off work,Im ready to go pay the doctor a visit..It was certified that I am suffering from stomach flu, not food posioning that I thought..

Took the next day off and mummy came to my hse..She keep teasing me that my outlook and my body condition doesnt seems to match...Beri nice mummy, wait till I get well, I will prove to you that I am not made of paper!!!

Room for improvement..

Its been nearly 1 and half mth since my miscarriage, yes I still keep track of the days and will still look at the ultrasound pictures every nite b4 falling as slp.But I felt better than initial stages..Appetite is bak, with me putting bak weight (which is not a good thing, the putting on weight part). Sleep wise, I still need to improve, either I would have trouble falling aslp, or I would not have a good slp i.e nightmares...

Going bak to work, takes up most of my free time, and most days, I come home feeling drained out..But then at the same time, it felt good to be bak. Being busy with all the stuff, joking, gossiping, chatting makes me more cheerful and not dwell on my miscarriage..

I tried to go back to shopping but without success, guess not everything can go bak to normal in such short time..We aso tried to resume our friday night dates if I am not too tired..

Many concerned fwens will try to check in with me for updates on my well being, I thank you for your concern. All I can say now is, though better, I think there is still room for improvement. Dun worry, I am getting better, realli though slow but at least not worse..

李式笑话- Out of Habit

I read some where that if u continue to do something for 21 days straight, it will become a habit of yours. No wonder my ex colleagues will go on the detox program for 21 days, I always wonder why this magical number, now, I know this is bak by scientific research..

Was telling hubs on this and told me, hopefully drinkin the yucky chinese medicine would become a habit to me as I need to drink at least for 2 mths. Right now, its a chore for me to drink it due to the awful taste, but I realised, I am slowly getting use to it after a wk...

Den it got him all excited and suddenly he told me he would placed his smelly-saliva coated pillow on my face everynight for 5 mins for 21 days and it would then become a habit of mine to smell his pillow before falling aslp every night..

I seriously cannot understand why he think his smelly pillow is nice smelling and also why should I smell his smelly pillow..Every time I turned my face ard, especially on the 3rd wk after changing the sheets, I would try push his pillow away from me for that saliva smell is too strong. This is usually the sign to change the sheets..whahah And he would need to re-create his smelly pillow...

Well, I assured him tat if his smelly pillow gets anywhere near to me, the pillow will be hitting the trash bin straight for I am afraid it would give me outbreaks with this dried saliva!!!!

Its okie to grieve..

Been bak to work for 2wks and had been feelin giddy on and off..Tried to put it off but the it got worst. Finally went to doctor to day. After checking, he mentioned low blood pressure (wat's new) and also asked a few questions on my sleeping patterns etc..

I admit, I slept more than previously when I was at home resting partly becuz I was tired out by work, but then again the quality is not good at all.. Meaning to say, either I sleep thru the night with nightmares, waking up feeling more tired than ever or I would wake up at odd hrs like 4.30am or 5am and cannot go bak to slp, many times, staying awake till 7 am when its time to wake up for work.

Doc say this is affecting me from getting well and thus explains low pressure and giddy spells. I am already trying my best to move forward, realli, now tat Im bak to work, I have less time to dwell on my miscarriage as work is always busy. Hubs will try to divert my attention during dinner by chatting about anything under the sun so that I will not have any quiet moments to myself and start tinking on our loss..

But still when I lay awake on my bed, my mind would drift bak to my bb. Many times, I would fall aslp with tears in my eyes, turning away frm Hubs so tat he would not see my tears..

As much as I focus on not grieving, my doc had told me its okie to grieve though he dunno how long it would take me.. He told me its okie that I feel low for a while and then feel happie for something den go bak to feeling low. He aso told me not to feel gulity if I felt happie over something, for slowly, I would be bak to my happie self again. If I continue to feel low and neber happie, then I will not be able to find bak the feeling of being happie.

It sounds logical to me, for I would feel gulity for feeling happie somethings over certain thing. I felt that by feeling happie, I let down my BB who just his life a month ago onli and I am oredi feeling happie here. I aso have no idea how long I shd grieve den I would feel gulity every time I feel happie over something ..

Anyways, he gave me 2 days off and told me to rest as much as I can before going bak to work again and I realli follow his instructions and slp like a pig to the extend of skipping lunch these 2 days..Well, its bak to the chinese doc this sat to see how I fare after a wk's medication..I reckon it will not have any significant changes as TCM is known to tune ur body bak SLOWLY... how long more I need to take this yucky medication, I dunno, but I do hope it will prepare me well for my next pregnancy and this would not waste my efforts in enduring drinking 2 dosages every day...

Kitchen's owner

I think hubs is secretly thrilled with our newly renovated kitchen..So much so that he rather scarifice going out time to cook and clean the kitchen. Even mummy was impressed by his cookin and cleanin skills..

It all started that we decided not to hire a confinement lady and mil was not willing to help to cook and mummy did not noe how to cook confinement food, hubs gamely took up the role of the confinement chef..He borrowed books from his mum to learnt the various confinement food, try to cook them through trial & error..

During my short pregnancy, he cooked for me every wkend to allow me to eat more nutritious food. To cook dinner, hubs need to start preparing at 3pm, some times to marinate the meat, sometimes to double boil the soup..Many times, he dun have time to rest after preparation as he will take some time to wash up den realised it's time to start cooking so tat it will be in time for dinner as I get hungry easily then...

Later, when I miscarriaged, he was forced to fast forward his confinement cooking adventures and start cooking for me as it is believed that I should haf a mini confinement even though I did not give birth. As I'm a fussy eater, its easier for hubs to cook for me as he noes my likes and dislikes at the bak of his hand. He also would not force me to take food that I dun eat..hehe..

At times, when we ate outside, hubs would try to re-create the dish tat we ate...Didnt taste like the stall sometimes but still was no where far from it...For instance, when we had the salted egg fried chickie the other day at the zhe char stall near our hse and I told him its nice, and then he start to tink of how to re-create this dish...

Knowing tat I love soup, he would also cooked different kind of soup every wk for me, lotus pork ribs soup, winter melon soup, ABC soup, he tried his best to boil them for me every wk..Often, he would also cook his fav fried food, making home made fries or self marinate fried chickie...

With this big chef around, I'm sure I will get to eat more tasty food and hopefully get nurse bak to health..

Moving forward...

Its been nearly a month since the miscarriage, though feeling better but still have room for improvement both phyiscally and emtionally.

Every 1 had been beri concern bout my well being, I'm thankful for their C&C.

At my parents in law suggestion, Hubs brought me to the chinese sinseh today, hoping to tune my body bak with the help of TCM. I am not very keen on this treatment as I dread drinkin the veri bitter chinese medicine. But for the sake of nursing my body bak & to set my love ones' mind at ease, I decided to go for the consultation.

The sinseh said that I am having a weak system and may need 1-2 months of medication to tune body back to prepare for the next pregnancy. I am nt sure whether I can withstand the taste of the medicine but guess I will try my best to take them as per doc's instruction.

Hopefully she can cleared me after 2 mths, the amount of tonics I took during this period is realli scary. Every morning will take a bottle of chickie/ginseng etc esscence. Then before going to slp will take bird nest.. Wkends, hubs will cook confinement food for me and boiled soups to nourish me... Hopefully I dun gain so much weight after taking all these, after all my gyne had warned me against putting on too much weight at my follow up checkup..

Back to work

Its bak to work after 3wks of resting after my miscarriage, abit uneasy on the 1st day as I've been out of work for so long, not sure how to deal with human interactions...

Colleagues are sweet enuff not to probe, some gave me hugs, some gave me a pat, many asked me to take care. Even MD asked me to sit in for a little chat to ensure tat I am okie..The closer colleagues tried to cheer me up by toking about any thing under the sun but the miscarriage. This is their way to show they care, hoping to take my mind off this awful incident..

I thank god for being in such a good company with such caring colleagues.Though my time here is still short (3mths) thus I was worried that they might let me go especially I missed work quite often due to this preganacy..Still, they rallied behind me and welcome me back with open arms :)

Work is hetic as usual, though my colleagues have helped to clear bulk of it, but there are things that need to be done in time for the month end and they are all tied up in their work, thus it is onli fair I take back the responsibilities after missing work for so long.

Getting bak to work aso means I have less time to dwell on the miscarriage, more tired, slp more soundly at nite, thus I placed the ultrasound pics beside my bed so that I can take a look at XB whenever I missed him, though I do not noe how long more I need to walk out of this pain, but I noe I am slowly doing so.

I am not aiming to forget XB, I am onli aiming not to grieve so much so as to nurse myself back to health and prepare for the next blessing from god...

Released from house arrest

Previously when I was pregnant, hubs and I practically did not go any where except for work and marketing. Partly because I'm always feeling tired, wanna rest early, partly due to doctor's advice to rest as much as I can during 1st trimester.

After my miscarriage, for the past 3 wks, we did not go out often as I'm not in the mood to shop and is also tired physically. I noe hubs is damn bored at home, desperately wanna get out to walk ard but I juz cannot bring myself to njoy shoppin as much as I do b4 miscarriage.

In fact when I go out now, it's to buy something tat I haf in mind oredi rather to shop for it. But for the sake of hubs, I noe I cannot cropped him up in the house too much as its unfair to him. Thus, I try to got out with him for a movie or mayb walk ard for a while b4 I give up and wanna go home..

He told me he's happie just to get out of the house and walk ard for some fresh air. On the other hand, he aso wan me not to sit and home and dwell on my miscarriage..

We went to our 1st buffet after 4mths, he had got the discounted price from deals.com and we njoy the buffet though I realized I cannot eat as much as b4. Perhaps durin my pregnancy, I've gotten use to eating little with more meals.

Anyhow, I think I need adjust myself and prepare to return to work on tue and to face plp..Also, need to find bak my own self so tat hubs would not need to suffer with me any further but I am not sure how long more I need to walk out of this pain. Hopefully soon...

李式笑话-Our #468357947 random conversations

After applying the SK II pack that I gave him, this became our nightly conversation :

Hubs: 老婆，我有比较像刘德华吗？
Me: 没有。
Hubs: 有比较像吴尊吗？
Me: 有。。。比较像无赖。。hehehe

One fine day just before falling aslp, hubs was telling me that he had no motivation for working nowadays, perhaps is due to the office politics, perhaps is due to he loss of our child recently. And part of the conversation went as below:

Me: No motivation ar?
Hubs: Ya lo..
Me: Come, I give you some motivations want?
Hubs: Wat motivations?
Me: You muz make it your aim to 赚很多很多钱来买很多很多 Miu Miu bags 给我。。这就是你的motivation..
Hubs: I dun wan go work tmr le...heheh

Once in a lifetime

After going thru so much in the past few mths, it makes me realised those who care deeply bout me, not tat I didnt noe in the 1st place, but the past few incidents brought out the best in them, rallying around me, providing with the strongest support I can ever asked for, taking care of me, and simply being around for me..

Its like hubs and I went thru a huge roller coaster ride within a span of 2mths. From finding out my pregnancy to worrying bout BB when I 1st had bleeding to the assurance we had that BB is fine to losing our BB.. No one can ever noe wat we went thru. The nights when we laid on bed, toking to our unborn child in my tummy, nights where we discuss our plans for the little 1, the tot of welcoming him to this world, nights when we worried bout his well being when I 1st haf bleeding, nights when we couldnt slp worrying bout whether we can keep BB..Finally, nights of crying together over loss of our 1st child.

All these brought us closer, we shared dreams of our little 1, shared worries for him and shared our feelings over loss of BB.

Hubs was a quiet man by nature, not knowing how to show his concern or express himself properly. When we 1st learnt that we couldnt keep our baby, I knew he was as upset as me, I could cry out loud, but he couldnt, he needed to be strong for me, he need to console me, he need to assure me all would be okie. Yet, his pain is no less than me, I caught him tearing when he was tot I was falling aslp in hospital, I realised he flipped thru the ultrasound pics when he came home alone from hospital when he misses our baby..

Even when I 1st came home, all I did was cry over  my loss, he would just hug me sliently, waiting for me to calm down and sometimes, I see tears in his eyes. Not only, he was sad bout loss of baby, he was also sad that I couldnt get over our loss and was afraid tat I might sink into depression.

He took up the responsibility of cleaning up the house and even learnt to cook confinement food for me so tat I eat well enuff to regain my health. For some 1 who dun realli like chinese cuisine, he went to great lengths to make sure I was eating well. Buying breakie for me before going to work, going to the wet market to select fresh food to cook, thinkin of the menu the night before, he had done more that I could ever asked for.

I felt blessed that I married him, someone who I can count on in times of trouble, some 1 who will be there for me during difficult times, some one who went out of his way to care for me during my most depressed period, I knew I didnt make the wrong choice by choosing him.

Though lossing our 1st child, the bundle of love that we so look forward to, but I thank god that I still have him holding my hand, walking beside me, for we might have a chance to try for another in time to come, meeting the correct person? Its once in a life time.

A mother's love

I knew my mum had a hard time bringin the 3 of us up and I realli appreciate her efforts. Still remmbered when I was young, I used to like to go against her. Nothing major, just like to irritate the hell out of her, but surprisingly, the strict rules that she laid down for us, I didnt have the courage to break any one of them..

During the initial stages of my pregnancy, I suffered from serious morning sickness, or rather whole day sickness. During work time, I need to keep frequenting the ladies due to the numerous time I wanted to vomit. Some are false alarm, but some are so serious that I would even vomit out of my nose. Didnt had the appetite to eat much, or at times, keep feeling hungry but dunno wat to eat..I would aso feel sleeply at certain timing, resulting me in dozing off at my work desk or feel restless most of the time..

Walking became a chore for I keep reminding myself to walk slowly. I no longer can eat as recklessly as I did before I am pregnant taking care to eat food tat are good for the bb, avoiding those that I had been pre warned to be harmful..Despite being extra careful, I didnt manage to keep my BB, but I did not regret any bit of the things I went thru..

Its after that I became pregnant den I realise how difficult for a woman to carry their BB to full term, how much each woman went thru to keep their BB safe and bring them to this world, not to mentioned the bringin up part. Granted, every woman faced different situations during their pregnancy, but I tink most would face difficulties at 1 point or another..

I can appreciate my mummy more when I went thru the 3 months of pregnancy. Even more when she took extra care of me during my pregnancy and post miscarriage. When I 1st encountered my 1st bleeding incident, mummy quit her morning jobs so that she can come over to cook for me during my bed rest leave and to help clean my hse.

During my stay in the hospital, she rushed there every day before and after work to check on me, making sure tat she provide the moral support that I needed so much. She was calmed infront of me though later she would admit that many a times, she feel like breaking down. Even when on that day of the abortion, she did not shed any tears infront of me, in fear of upsetting me further. She told me tat she onli dared to cry when she is waiting for the bus to go home..

This is a mother's love for her daughter, giving me unconditional love and support, putting me infront of herself in every move, being strong for me so that I can be strong too. I dunno whether I would be able to do that when I become someone's mother next time, but I will learn from my mummy's example. Thank you mummy, I love you. Thank you for your support, care and concern for the past few months, for without you, I might not be able to remain as sane as now..

Local or not?

Been watching the Olympics alot during my 3wks leave, more than I ever watched as compared to the past few games, perhaps I have nothing to do den to watch tv perhaps the only they keep showing now are the various competitions, none the less, its quite entertaining..

But I do only watch certain sports,swimming, table tennis, badmintion, diving, weight lifting and gymnastics, dun ask why but I dun watch the others.

Was catching the live telecast of the men's single badminton gold medal game the other day. Competitors are Lee Chong Wei from Msia and Lin Dan from China. It was an intense game, I was cheering for Lee, afterall, China had always had a clean sweep in badminton, having Lee winning this will prove to the world that not only the Chinese can trained an Olympic gold medalist.

But things were not meant to be, Lee Lost to Lin after a tough battle, I had initally tot he could win in the last game and made history. He put up a great fight too, you can see tat even Lin was in respect of him, hugging him after the win instead of the usual handshake.

This set me thinking bout Singapore's policy of importing sportsmen and women from other country to compete in our national flag. No doubt, we had won 2 bronzes this time, I had great admiration for our table tennis team. But it would be a prouder moment had this been a true blue Singaporean who had won.

Dun get me wrong, its not that I deny the sportswomen the effort they put in to train for the games, afterall, many countries aso filed China born players in their team and only Singapore is able to win the bronze. I mean if every China born player is playing that well, then their teams would have made it to the top 3 too. We cannot deny the hard work our players put in.

But wat I dun get it is, why didnt Singapore train their own players? We can have a mixture of local and foreign born players in a team, exposing our players to these big events, instead all of the players filed are all non local. In this way, how can a local player grow when he or she is being denied of this chance to go to bigger events?

In the case of Lee, who is a malaysian chinese, was being termed as a national hero after this win. You see, it is not easy to shine as a Chinese in Malaysia, but he did it and went on to represent his country in the international stage, even his coach, I see was a local (Malay and chinese coach). So obviously, it made all Malaysians prouder than ever to be able to win Silver, only losing to Lin who is well known as world best..

Even as a Singaporean, I felt happie for them, this is the moment that I wished I had a chance to see. Even our national flag flying up high there, medals won by a local and if possible coached by a local. This is the time when the government can proudly claimed that they had succeed in bring the standard of our sportsmen or women to international level. Before that, even our national flag is being flew at the victory ceremony, I can never felt a sense of great acheivement for them.

Hope that you are well

Dear Xiao Bao,

Its been 7 days since we lost you, how are you getting on in your world? Is everything well there? Mummy and daddy miss you alot you know? The heartache didnt ease abit even though it has been a week. Do you know when mummy misses you, I will take out the ultrasound pictures to look at you? I especially love the 11wk pic where you were waving at us while doing the scan, daddy and mummy was so happie bak then..

Though asking ourselves many times, we didnt noe where went wrong that causes us to lose you. Mummy went thru rounds and rounds of self blaming though every 1 had told me that it is not my fault. But as your mummy, as the 1 who is responsible to keep you safe in my womb and bringing you to this world, it cannot be denied tat I failed in my job.

I realli wan you to know that we oredi tried our best in keeping you, decision that we made last wk is not becuz we dun love you but is becuz of our love for you. We wanted the best for you, and the doctor said this is the best for you, we wanted you to have a better life, a better environment, thus this decision. It pains us alot to let you go, but we still did...

Every night before I go to slp, I will tink of you, how happie I was when you were still within me, I would stroke my tummy to cajole you to slp, or how I will tok to you when I was bathing or during toilet breaks at work, tell you to bear with it abit while mummy work..Or how daddy will tok to you everynight or morning and when mummy gets off car to work..

Did you also rememeber all the nutritious food that you ate while inside mummy?Its all prepared with love from daddy or ah ma..Though daddy loves fast food more but he rather stayed at home on weekends preparing  whole day just to cook lunch and dinner for you. If not mummy is expecting, we might not even know how to do marketing, its becuz of you tat mummy n daddy went to market dilligently every wkend hoping to buy fresh food to prepare for you.

Actually mummy also want to thank you for your short presence in me, bringin out the best in us while preparing ourselves for your arrival. I noe you will want mummy and daddy to get on well here and be strong juz like when you were fighting in mummy during the last few days. Mummy is trying her very best but still at times, especially in the middle of night or early in the mornin when I wake up to go toilet, I will be reminded of you. I desperately wanted to know whether you are well in the other world, I desperately wanted to tell you 1 last time that I loved you cuz I didnt had the time to bid you a good farewell back then.

The most precious memories that you left for us will be well-kept, for when daddy & mummy miss you alot, we can have some photos to look at, this is our only way to rememeber you and we are realli thankful for that 5photos. Xiao Bao, please be well at the other world, for the only reason we let you go is want you to be well.

Love,

Daddy & Mummy Lee

Mourning

Its been 5 days since I lost my BB, since like all happens yesterday. I rejected all well-wishes' intentions for a visit. Not that I dun welcome them, juz tat I cannot bear to tok about this episode now without crying. Further more, it adds salt on the wound by repeating myself each time one ask how I lost my BB..

Hubs' family came yesterday, I had a hard time attending to them, need to be strong in front of visitors, putting up a front, tired out by the visit as they stayed for a few hrs, and of cuz repeating the details to my mil on the fateful day, bringing bak the pain that I try so hard to forget.

Many asked me, how am I coping so far, asking me not to dwell on it and dun be too sad..How not to dwell on it when I lost my baby this way, he's part of me for a good 3 and half mths for god's sake. When he left me, I felt like part of me left too, not going to feel complete from now on..

Hubs been beri supportive over this period though he is grieving too..He too, like me lost a child, and tot he nearly lost me when he saw how much I bled. On some nites, we just hug and cry together b4 falling aslp when we think of how we used to tok to our unborn child every night before bedtime.

Everything I do now, reminds me of this little 1 once inside me where both of us was so eager to welcome to this world. I tried to be happie, tried to keep myself busy to take it off my mind. None helps, in the end, I decided to juz grieve as much as I can before bouncing bak, this is my mourning period, our mourning period. No matter how much every 1 tells me that I should stay strong, the least I tink I can do is to mourn for this unborn child, this is the only thing I can do for him, I do not wan to forget him or the pain so fast, I wan to rememeber him, for the joy he brought us over the past 3mths plus...

I miss you BB, hope that you hear mummy's prayers every nite praying tat you are in somewhere safe and in good hands and leading a good life that you should have. Mummy will stay strong, hopefully you will too, juz like the way you did when we were about to lose you. I will always rememeber you, little fighter, thank you for the joy and happiness you brough to us, thank you for being part of me once, I thank god for the short time we had together, for it will be the sweetest memory I ever had when expecting my 1st child...